1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Terrible sadness/feeling of doom

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by chicabonita, Jul 10, 2011.

  1. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Has anyone else had this? Periodically (and possibly period-related, though a sample of one isn't scientifically significant!) I get awfully sad, to the point of crying (or wanting to), but without being able to pinpoint any real reason. There are reasons, but they wouldn't normally make me feel like this, or I could shrug them off. They are trivial.
    The other thing I get is a horrible feeling of dread. Right now I have the feeling I get before an important obs- as if I'm about to f*** up royally. I've no idea why.
    I never really suffered before with PMS, just pains when I wasn't on the pill and basically no symptoms when I was on it. I don't know if this is PMS but does anyone have anything similar? Or had? I've had two periods since LO was born, although I'm still b/feeding, but they haven't been predictable and weren't anything like a normal-length cycle.
  2. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    Some women do suffer worse period related stuff after birth, with me just heavier, not emotional, but I know others who have.
    See your doc, could it be a vit deficiency? Once when I was anaemic, I got stressed easy, but just iron tablets sorted it.
    And are you sleeping badly? Known of mums who have had all sorts of bad feelings, including one with hallucinations, who were 'cured' if that's the word, by sleeping properly.
    I do think you need to see a medic. Good luck
  3. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Chiquita doesn't sleep through and lately (the last 2-3 weeks) her 1-2 wakeups have increased to 3, 4, 5 or even 6 wakeups per night. I've also been sleeping lightly since she was born. I don't know though that that is the cause, because I've had these feelings before but she's never slept so badly... if that makes sense?
    Thanks for your post, hhhh
  4. I have similar feelings- general fear of what my daughters future will hold and horrible enxiety about all sorts of things.... It is very daunting being a mother and knowing the responsibility we all have- and hormones play with us a lot as well.
    It could well be some form of PND- so I would speak to a health visitor or a doctor- especially if this is getting in the way of normal life to any extent.. You may not need ADs but some form of CBT may help the way you. The sleep depreivation may not be a cause but it may make things worse.
  5. I have had this in the past. I think hhh and moomoon make good points about sleep deprivation and the responsibility of being a mum. You said that you're feeling sad about things that wouldn't normally bother you so lack of sleep could easily be the thing that is pushing you over the edge at the moment. I don't know how old your baby is but do you mix with other adults regularly and do you have people that you can talk to/have a laugh with? Spending too much time on your own (or you and your LO) could be a cause. How's your diet/exercise as again they could have an affect on your mood/stamina and maybe supplements could help and brisk walks with you LO? There is a condition called post natal anxiety, which this could be. Maybe speak to your HV or GP.
    I hope these feelings pass very soon as they're not very pleasant. Take care.
  6. Typed a big long post then lost it [​IMG]
    I have had this type of feelings on and off in the past. I've been a bit more emotional before my period but the real doom and gloom stuff doesn;t seem affected by it. As others hav e said, sleep helps, but I've found that when I'm lying awake trying to get to sleep that's when the weird thoughts hit. Also when you;re up through the night with baba, willing them to go to sleep, that's when I feel most vulnerable.

    One thing that really helps is talking to someone else. i usually start it with some sort of joke of "I'm so knackered, you'll never guess what I started worrying about last ngiht". Saying it out loud makes some of the irrational fears go away, or if someone tells me something they've felt I feel so much better.

    I read an article once where it advised you think of how long you'll worry about something for. Will I worry about this in a week's / month's / year's time? This helps me get a bit of perspective.
    I normally find something to worry about. Having had a kid has made it so much worse.
    I really hope you feel a bit better soon, and like others have said, if it seems too much speak to your doc.
  7. chicabonita

    chicabonita New commenter

    Thank you all.
    I spoke to my mum, OH and today to the HV at baby group. They have given hugs and counsel, and HV is coming out on Tuesday for a chat and see how things are.
    I do go out and even without LO (last night for example went out for a friend's birthday) and sometimes get to Zumba. We also walk the dog twice a day. These feelings come and go and sometimes I can squash them down or hide them but they do colour my confidence about everything. HV is going to bring some more information so I will have a read and a think about what to do. Chocolate is probably not the ultimate answer!
  8. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    Maybe not, but it helps! [​IMG] Glad you could talk to somebody about how you feel, sometimes this is the hardest thing. There is so much pressure on mums to be amazingly happy all the time and sometimes we're not. Hope the HV is helpful when you see her x
  9. Based on the information you have given here, I would expect them to complete a questionnaire with you, looking out for post natal depression. if the HV doesn't, and they don't mention PND, do please go and see your GP - they are often much better than the HV (certainly when it comes to PND, in my experience!). Hope you feel ok - I often have such impending feelings of doom, but have developed strategies that I can (usually) do to distract myself, such as going for walks, listening to meditation cds, etc etc.
  10. bundalph

    bundalph New commenter

    I haven't been around on the forum in a while, so I hope it's still okay to chip in!!
    I have a lovely, sensible HV who has mentioned that many, many mums get feelings of anxiety, especially about baby. I think that it's when that "normal" level of anxiety tips into something that affects how you live your day-to-day life that you need to chat to a GP. I have always had issues with anxiety and depression and so I was always high risk for PND. I do have it and have had both ADs and CBT. Both are very good. The CBT on its own is an excellent way to manage things- and this is coming from someone who was very sceptical about it. This might sound odd, but I wouldn't worry about it because whether it is PND or not, it is something that you can do lots and lots to help. A lot of the time I forget I actually have PND!!
    You are normal! Even if, at times you feel like you are losing your marbles, you are normal!!

Share This Page