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Temper Tantrums in a 15 month old!

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by bundalph, Dec 22, 2011.

  1. bundalph

    bundalph New commenter

    Hi all
    I haven't been on the forums for a while so I hope it's okay to start a new topic.
    My (almost) 15 month old has started to throw the most terrible tantrums - sometimes for no obvious reason. At the moment I am putting her in her playpen and ignoring her when it happens. How long is it okay to leave them screaming though? Till they stop? Today she seemed to go on and on. I am worried in case I am missing something very basic, but the crying is ill tempered rather than the kind of crying hunger or a wet nappy brings about. Is it normal for tantrums to start this young? Someone suggested to me that she might have picked up the habit from older kids at nursery.
    Any advice or suggestions would be very welcome.
    Cheers!
     
  2. bundalph

    bundalph New commenter

    Hi all
    I haven't been on the forums for a while so I hope it's okay to start a new topic.
    My (almost) 15 month old has started to throw the most terrible tantrums - sometimes for no obvious reason. At the moment I am putting her in her playpen and ignoring her when it happens. How long is it okay to leave them screaming though? Till they stop? Today she seemed to go on and on. I am worried in case I am missing something very basic, but the crying is ill tempered rather than the kind of crying hunger or a wet nappy brings about. Is it normal for tantrums to start this young? Someone suggested to me that she might have picked up the habit from older kids at nursery.
    Any advice or suggestions would be very welcome.
    Cheers!
     
  3. I would try distraction with something different when you spot a tantrum ready to hit. It makes life that bit more bearable, as she won't be so upset and you don't have to listen to it. Bear in mind that at this age she probably IS upset about whatever it is that has caused the tantrrum, it may seem unimportant to us but little people see the world in a whole different way than we do.
    I also try not to ignore tantrums as I find it upsets my lo even more. I sympathise (I realise she doesn't understand every word but she does understand tone of voice) and offer a cuddle, then distract with something I know she likes, cheese is the current distraction of choice in our house, or perhaps the singing reindeer.
    Good luck.
     
  4. Go down the distraction route if you can - you really want to avoid a full on tantrum. Saying that, sometimes a toddler is going to have a scary meltdown whatever you do, and in that situation yes, you just have to let it run it's course. Sometimes that can take a short time, sometimes hours... it's exhausting. Sympathies. I sometimes found/find a bath helps.
     
  5. undiwear

    undiwear New commenter

    try to identify triggers of tantrums by seeing what else can be going on shortly before the melt down. I find that hunger is a trigger. At this age they can't identify hunger or thirst as a problem.

    there an article I saw not so long ago where child psycologist dissected tantrums and identified a pattern to them. http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/05/143062378/whats-behind-a-temper-tantrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams

     
  6. I would second the hunger thing. My LO is exactly the same age and can't go longer than 2 hours without food. It's bonkers but she literally eats all the time. My parents and in laws spent ages telling me that she couldn't possibly be hungry, however now she can get around she just takes herself to the highchair when she wants to eat! Which is often. In terms of thirst, I've found that she drinks frequently if I just leave a cup of water on the floor near where she is playing.
     
  7. Could you try teaching LO some signs? Mine is 14 months and verges on tantrums but is often able to sign if it's hunger or milk or even Baby Jake that she wants! Having the signs really eases her frustration and saves the guessing games.
    But I really second what someone else wrote about distraction, also can you bring yourself to sing a funny song or lighten your own mood at all? I've found that I get tense and cross when she starts and that feeds her frustration so if I kind of shake it off and just start being silly, it stops me from getting angry and makes her forget what she was annoyed about! I actually sing that stupid 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' song really loudly, guaranteed to make both you and LO laugh!
    HTH and things get better for you.
     
  8. Sorry and I also meant to add that I also think it's really important to va;lidate your LO's feelings as Jodidi said. They are important issues to little ones and I think it helps to acknowledge that what they are going through is valid and ok and show them a better way to deal with their emotions than just shouting and screaming.
     
  9. bundalph

    bundalph New commenter

    Thanks everyone! Have started to try some distracting techniques. For example, if I am eating I make sure she has something too. That seems to have helped with one of the trigger points anyway. Thanks again.
     
  10. That's a classic here, OH and I can't eat anything 'naughty' until she's in bed now as she has to have it too! We ended up with bombay mix all over the sofa yesterday and this afternoon I was hiding in the larder eating crisps and humous and popping in and out to help her eat her healthy tea of beef stew!!!
     
  11. Wormburger that's hilarious!
    I think this age is prime time for tantrums so no, it's not too early at all. They have found they can affect the world around them but don't have the language to communicate.
    My problem is that my little man tantrums when I say no. It doesn't really matter how I say it, when I say it or why but if he throws himself to the floor and starts rolling around screaming. If he can, he tries to headbutt or hit me. He really is an angel most of the time.
    I will not give in though. If I say he can't bang a train on my lovely coffee table then I'm not going to change my mind just because he disagrees!
    My tip- everything is worse if he's tired. We found one long nap after lunch works a lot better than two short ones, although I'm sure the opposite is true for some.

     
  12. bundalph

    bundalph New commenter

    Haha, I have to sneak the leftover Roses into me while she is looking the other way.
    My LO is definitely more prone to tantrums when she is tired.
     

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