help! I am at my wiits end with my two teens - one very bright, one severely dyslexic, one academic, the other definitely not, both (or just one) constantly lying and stealing from me and from each other, unable to share anything. Today has been the final straw...they asked if they could eat the chocolate lollipops I had bought for the children at school, I said no...I got up this morning and all of them had gone! All of them!! When I asked who was responsible they both said it wasn't them...the lying is really getting to me. Just when I had begun to feel better about work too! The elder daughter is in lower sixth and is very sullen and moody, defiant and argumentative, she has always deeply resented her younger sister. Their dad is working away from the uk and we only see him in the holidays; the elder daughter didn't come with us at October half term, preferring to stay at home under the watchful eye of a close family friend. I get that she is becoming more independent but she is making life extremely hard for me and her sister...the atmosphere at home is dreadful. Their dad is undiagnosed aspergers ( by general consensus of opinion by those know him well and have some professional understanding of the condition inc. the GP, teaching colleagues and a counsellor). Is she showing similar traits...or is she just a normal teenager? She's very young for her age group (August birthday)...is that part of it? The younger daughter is usually more transparent but has umpteen problems with trying to fit in at school. She isn't as academic as her sister but she shines elsewhere but she has no motivation at all wrt to school. The school has tried hard to engage her but all she is interested in is make up and short skirts! She has caused problems for herself at school being the gobby one who has an answer for everything. I'm trying hard not to see all this as my fault - i am, effectively, a single mum here in the UK and the times we spend away are always nice times because everyone is pleased to be somewhere warm and sunny altogether. I have had a terrible time at school and have extricated myself from that. Over the years I have had recourse to antidepressants for periods of depression and anxiety but I have always done my best - the counsellor I have been seeing says I just have to be good enough and I think I have been - the lying and lack of respect for me and each other and property is making me question it all. Those of you teach this age group...do you have any advice for me? I am used to ks1 where the children listen and want to please...what do I do with my own two who seem determined to cause as much pain as possible? What sanctions do I use? Any advice would be welcome because I don't know where else to go with this.