I am always very sceptical of people who claim to be an 'expert' in autism. Like any condition each and every person is different and the more I learn, the more I realise I will never know even a small proportion of the huge world of autism. As people with autism can live in worlds so totally removed from our own it is impossible to know how they feel and I imagine each child experiences their own unique world differently and that means every child needs a different approach- I am sure you are finding that with your two children already. Out of interest, how much support do you get outside of school? Have you any contact with other parents or agencies who can support you'? Sorry for being nosy but I have worked with parents who are becoming increasingly desparate as they are just not getting much support and having to fight so hard to get basis entitlements. We had some fascinating training from a lady with autism - she couldn't live an independant life but was able to explain her own world- and it is a different world. One thing I found fascinating, she was non-verbal until she was 9 years old but could understand everything. She used to think that when she thought in her head everyone could hear what she was thinking and would have huge tantrums when she wouldn't get what she had asked for in her head. Obviously this is not the case for all people with autism but just demonstrated one of the many ways autism affects people.