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Teaching has finally broke me..

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by BurntOutTeacher35, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Another update. Six and a half weeks ago this started and I can't believe I'm still struggling. Been on new meds for five days and been told they take 2-4 weeks to start working. Gone into work this week but got sent home as they didn't think I was fit to be there. In fact, been told not to go back for a week! Mixed feeling over this. I do truly believe school cares and wants to support me in getting better (and after reading other people's experiences I am grateful I work in such a good school) but still find it difficult to accept I need help. My partner says I'm too stubborn!
     
    tall tales likes this.
  2. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    She's right!
     
  3. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    I had to have beta blockers because I was waiting for heart surgery. I still believe my condition was triggered by stress. The beta blockers made me really really tired and gave me very very very weird dreams...and a few surreal nightmares. I needed my surgery sooner than olanned and I can honestly tell you that waking up and walking around with energy amd feeling fresh and alert after the past three months was amazing. Ideally, stay on them short term. Predicatably, I started feeling a LOT better as soon as I left my school..not going in the following September was the best feeling.
     
  4. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Mine said that too!
     
  5. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    The stress is probably still there. Sadly, to fully heal, you have to get away from the stressors.
     
  6. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Still off work atm and GPs appointment later in the week. Difficult to tell if meds are doing anything yet. Was feeling much better Sun/Mon then work have been in touch to set up another meeting which left me crying and shaking. Not that they were nasty, just the contact sparked that reaction. Difficult to know what to do for the best as I've tried going back unsuccessfully, twice! Want to make sure I'm ready next time as don't want to keep messing work about!
     
    jlishman2158 and agathamorse like this.
  7. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    This. I can't imagine being back full time atm, to be the person I was before Christmas!
     
    Shedman and agathamorse like this.
  8. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    This post seems to suggest a step backwards when so many of your earlier posts were so positive and forward looking. What is certain is that if contact from work upsets you so much then it would seem you're a long way from returning full time. Perhaps some counselling or other therapies might help as it doesn't seem the meds are doing much at the moment. Keep positive and I hope things work out well for you.
     
  9. youmakemesmile

    youmakemesmile New commenter

    Whatever you do, do what's best for you.
     
  10. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    I am very optimistic and have assumed I can push through this, I will control my body and get back to it...as time has gone on I'm beginning to accept I can't regain control by brute force!

    The first lot of meds had my anxiety under control and I did feel much more positive but I've had to come of them due to side effects. I've been on new meds for almost two weeks and doesnt feel like they are doing much atm!
     
    agathamorse and Shedman like this.
  11. Lara mfl 05

    Lara mfl 05 Star commenter

    Give them some time. I think the 'expected time' for seeing an improvement can be nearer 4-6 weeks.
     
  12. Curae

    Curae Lead commenter

    Lara is right. If after that or it becomes unbearable you will need to be reassed and meds increased or changed altogether. In the meantime ask for counselling ask GP and Union.
    Good luck keep us at WPD informed here with shoulders arms and hands to hold
    Do t rush yourself of put pressure for any return Things W I LL get better.
    Hugs
    Curae xxx
     
  13. Curae

    Curae Lead commenter

    Happy to read this and absolutely you will get better.
     
  14. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    GP has signed me off again for a few weeks to give time for the meds to get into my system and working. The waiting is frustrating, but like I said previously, brute force just hasn't worked so listening to GP now!
     
    Mrsmumbles and agathamorse like this.
  15. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    You need to stop prioritising the bells who have made you this ill. If signed off, the HOD has to sort out cover and lessons. Contact the school via your union rep.. direct contact is not a great idea...could give you a setback.
     
  16. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    YES!! This is a wise decision. In about two weeks, the fog will clear.
     
  17. Curae

    Curae Lead commenter

    Please do you are at the moment not well. You will get better be patient. Love yourself.
    Hugs
    Curae xx
     
  18. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Another update. Been signed off for another few weeks. Sertraline has me feeling like myself again and GP has agreed I'm doing so much better. Insomnia is the main side effect I'm struggling with but to keep going with the sertraline as it's made such a big difference. Meeting set up with school and occupation health to discuss return to work.
     
    agathamorse likes this.
  19. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Been feeling so much better now meds have kicked in. Had a "case conference" with work, HR etc and agreed to go back this week a few hours a day, no teaching. Then Easter break and start picking up classes.

    When this first started (about three months ago now!) I was determined to leave and I still think this is the answer but it is a difficult choice to make! I'm going to see what it is like going back this week but feel confident l'll be handing my notice in this year atm.

    This sticks in my head and a big part of me doesn't want to leave but feel I have to to heal.

    This also hit home!

    I am not ruling out being signed off until the end of the school year if needed though worry how this will look to future employers. I have been looking at jobs and a big pay cut is inevitable though luckily doable.

    I'll continue updating this week.
     
  20. BeHappy19

    BeHappy19 New commenter

    Just wondering how you are doing. I have been signed off with WR S since mid March after teaching for 24 years. I feel my only option is to resign, but worried about getting work and the impact on my family. The thoughts of going back to my current school scares me so much. Everyone says I'll know when I'm ready to go back, but that just feels impossible at the moment.
     
    BurntOutTeacher35 and Curae like this.

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