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Teaching has finally broke me..

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by BurntOutTeacher35, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. stonerose

    stonerose Occasional commenter

    Hello Soots Good to hear this.
     
    jlishman2158 likes this.
  2. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Just register with the onl8ne tuition agencies ASAP, be prepared to teach a wider age range and maybe more than one subject if your subject is not a core one...then off you go. Start. See if you can get one tuition job after school. Watch the enquiries come in. Do a proper one) page. Upload your dbs. And no, you don’t need a school reference. You need the proof to give you the courage to leave. Just leave, really, before your body takes matters into its own hands and your health forces you to.
     
    stonerose, jlishman2158 and Shedman like this.
  3. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Hear hear! If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got...not much when we’re discusisng teaching conditions since 2013 and the Govian Destruction took hold.
     
  4. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Taught my first lesson this morning. Felt sick, shaky,nervous but it was different...felt like normal back to work reaction. Although reading that sentence back that should not be considered normal! Feel good for doing it but don't want to push it too much. School are happy for me to do as much or little as I feel like doing. Reduced time table agreed for this week (though subject to change at my request). Feel positive for the future, continuing to take one day at a time.

    Side note, GP was happy to sign me off again if needed and offered medication which I have refused as I don't think anymore sitting at home will do me any good. The two weeks I have been signed off were worthwhile and really allowed my body to just calm down!
     
  5. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Now just make sure you keep on an even keel. Good luck. I hope it works out.
     
  6. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Yeah, I don't want to be that person who goes back too soon or takes too much on too soon and ends up being off for longer. Feels like I'm doing the right amount atm.
     
    stonerose likes this.
  7. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    I think you’re perhaps more unwell than you’re accepting. Do not trust school. They always smile and support the most just before they stick the knife in...well that was my experience, anyway. Your school could be amazing and supportive, but they’ve not supported you that much, it seems. See your union rep. I behaved very similarly to you a few years back and thought I could do the ‘day at a time and soldiering on’ malarkey. I even took my marking book into the resus ward wit me and even set stupid lesson covers from my bed. Thing is, school and the mad relentless cycle of insane workload and expectations never stops, they don’t reallly ‘do’ ill very well. Your GP knows what the score is...LISTEN to them and give yourself proper rest. Personally, I’d negotiate for a Feb half term exit with some settlement pay-off.
     
  8. stonerose

    stonerose Occasional commenter


    Agree. Sometimes you can be closer to the edge of the precipice than you realize. Then, when you try to step, back the momentum of the situation still carries you forward.

    Also agree about putting too much trust in your school. They could have their own agenda which will not necessarily be yours.

    BTW M. Marking and lesson plans in resus!!:eek: I would have sectioned you for that alone.;)
     
  9. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    I know! The levels of bullying I experienced were so intense, they became this sick routine. They were all at it. At the time, it took two GPS and the consultant to point out that I was never going to heal if I was working. ‘I shouldn’t want to work for a boss who expects you to do all that” quipped one doctor, then I looked up at him and saw he meant it. Bang. Then it hit. I was in a big city hospital and there we all were, the in denial exploiters, all on our
    Smart phones! What was the matter with us all? I’m so glad to be out of and finally own my own..head space, really. NOW I realise the ‘thinking I could cope crud’ was symptomatic of the fact that I was ill and.er...couldn’t cope. Nobody could. No shame. Just REALITY. And now? Lots more resignations and staff changes since I left, naturally. HOD off now. And second in charge. Ones blubbered off to set up a reiki business. Could. Not. Make. It. Up!
     
  10. Mrsmumbles

    Mrsmumbles Star commenter

    Oh and bully hod wanted me to set the cover before I was driven to hospital! She needed and still really really does need sectioning. Permanently.
     
    Shedman, agathamorse and Alice K like this.
  11. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Not gone in today and I'm going to seek GP advice this morning. I don't just want to be signed off, I want to be in school. Through talking with different people, I have identified exactly what has triggered this and would like to be in school but obviously avoid the triggers. Seeking professional advice to get their take (GP).
     
    agathamorse likes this.
  12. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Update as promised. GP has prescribed beta blockers for anxiety to take when/if I need. We agreed long term solution is to move schools or leave and she would happily keep signing me off until I get a new job.

    I told her just sitting around at home longer won't help and I want to be in school so going back in on Monday. There are classes I'm absolutely fine with and want to go in and teach. GP is happy to issue a note with conditions but I'm am confident the school will meet my needs. I know a lot of posters have said be weary of trusting school but I genuinely feel comfortable school will accommodate my needs.

    I feel much less guilty now about being off as certain members of staff at the school have done this too me. They are to blame. The stress is from situations out if my control. I will only increase my teaching timetable when I am confident they won't let me down.
     
    agathamorse, leo07 and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  13. leo07

    leo07 New commenter

    What an extremely supportive and kind response - thank you so much.

    So many of your points are so helpful. I’m really starting to get down about it, mainly because I don’t know what to do next and also a little sad as I’ve put so much time & effort into my teaching career.

    But, it’s affecting how I am at home and often tearful and low. So I know I have to move on.

    I’m not very familiar with this forum but I will certainly look through and find other posts about jobs outside of teaching.

    Thank you again
     
    Shedman and agathamorse like this.
  14. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Thank you for your kind words. I am pleased to help. You are sure to feel sad that your teaching career has come to this but you know that staying in teaching isn't going to make things any better for you and by hanging on you'd be making it worse. The past has gone and you cannot change it but you can make your future better. Focus on that. Good luck and keep positive.
     
    Lara mfl 05, leo07 and agathamorse like this.
  15. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Update as promised. I was off on the 7th and 8th of Feb, so tired and just allowing medication to start working. Another meeting with school on the Monday about reduced timetable and I did some teaching last week. Beta blockers have worked in calming my body down but I'm still not sleeping well and have gone home half day a few days as I've been exhausted. I am doing what I can but will not push myself beyond what I feel comfortable with.

    In a strange turn of events, I think my beta blockers are causing some very strange side effects which I am going to talk to someone about today!
     
    agathamorse likes this.
  16. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Staying on same medication but a much lower dose. Good week teaching a much reduced timetable. Meeting on Friday just gone to agree what I will teach after half term. Head is very supportive and doesn't want me to take too much on as it could have an adverse effect down the line. Half term for me this week and OH is off so doing lots of now work stuff! Agreed with GP to another appointment this week to check in and OC appointment first week back.
     
    Bedlam3 likes this.

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