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Teaching has finally broke me..

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by BurntOutTeacher35, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. agathamorse

    agathamorse Senior commenter

    I couldn’t just read and go. You will be okay. You need to get better first and it will take time. Others will be here with better ideas but for now just try to find your way back to you. Teaching is a killer job. It was hurting you. Get better and then you will be able to decide what to do next. Now is too soon. Love and hugs to you.
  2. atang

    atang New commenter

    I am sorry to see your post.
    I have felt the same last week. I woke up on Monday and spent 90 minutes wondering around the house not knowing whether I was making breakfast, having a shower or feeding the cat! My wife realised that I was not right and told me to call into work ill. Once I did that I went to bed and slept all day. I called in ill Tuesday and Wednesday as I still did not feel right. I am a 0.6 and came back today and have not felt great. I have had a meeting with a Deputy Head who has felt that my Year 11 cohort (23 of them) have not chance of passing their BTEC as evidence is not strong enough. Though this may be in part something that I need to work on, it was partly due to the music teacher for not following the criteria and I have been trying to match the evidence where I can doing interventions during lunch/ break and after school. On top of that today, 2 Year 9 students broke two of our computers through silly behaviour and all they got was 'community service' of spending lunchtimes with me this week and to top it off, the Music SV has been confirmed!!!!!
    A good teacher friend of mine has been signed off for stress and insisted that I should as I have been wanting to leave the profession for some time. However, I do not feel that this is my mentality and I do not think I will be doing this. I too do not see myself teaching beyond 50 years and I am currently 43. This has become more apparent as I have worked at 2 very different schools over the past 3 years and have had bad experiences in each of these schools. My first school was due to the unsupportive senior management and my current school I feel it is due to the lack of support due to the bad behaviour of the students.
    Education has changed dramatically over the years and I have felt that it is important that a work life balance is vital. We do not have children and yet I know that I am not spending enough time with loved ones and instead working additional hours for ultimately children who will never appreciate what additional work we have had to do.
    For me holidays are relative! You would be able to book a holiday anytime and it would be cheaper as you would not have to go during the holidays.
    Good luck and yes you are right there any many of us that feel like this but we must all be brave and look for another role that makes us happier!
  3. hammie

    hammie Lead commenter

    reading the threads on here is heartbreaking. What have we allowed to happen to our education system. I'm another teetering on the edge after 29 years, trying to hang in there until I can cash my pensions. If I were younger I would just get out as this is no longer a long term option for most people. I'm still full time but hardly anyone of my age is working more than 4 days a week or on supply.
    The holidays are a big negative for me, grown up children, partner not working in education.
    If anyone younger is reading this, they really need to be planning a way out before their mental health takes over their life.
  4. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Sorry to hear another teacher suffering. I never realised how many of us there are! It's sounds like you are trying your best with year 11. You are doing interventions but are they working at home? I often have parents ask what are YOU doing for my kid and when I've answered I turn it around ask ask what they are doing.

    I have submitted my first job application today to a non-teaching post - eek! It's a strange feeling as they is a part of me that doesn't actually see me escaping! I will be handing in my notice for August finish.

    I'm going to continue browsing other jobs...!
  5. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Have a look at some of the other threads on here where you will find a myriad of suggestions and stories of people who have escaped teaching.

    You say that all you know is teaching. That's not true. The teaching was only part of what you have done in your career. You say you are now SLT so you can manage others, present, communicate, organise, plan, keep records, budget, lead and develop policy. These are not exclusively teaching skills and can be applied to a whole range of other jobs.

    As I have said on many other threads, show as much commitment and focus in a new job as you do in teaching and your potential will soon be recognised. You may start a new career having to take a bit of a pay cut but many escapees report that their pay matches or exceeds what they got in teaching. What about a job managing a nursery? You've been a nursery nurse and you've got SLT experience.

    Your teaching career has run it's course but you are undecided as to what else you can do. Get as much help and advice from these threads and other sources as you can and make a plan. Your future is up to you and you have decided to make it better so now MAKE IT HAPPEN!
  6. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Stang, I'll be frank, I feel depressed just reading this account of your current life so I dread to think how it must be for you to live it. It reads as though you are just plodding on in a job that, if you do not actively hate, leaves you demotivated and demoralised. It's taking away from you time that could be spent with your family or other pursuits that you actually enjoy. As it is, your job seems to be just punishment and there is no end of it in sight.

    You say you can't see yourself in teaching in seven years time so that's seven more years you're willing to subject yourself and your partner to this. Is this going to be good for your physical and mental health or that of your wife. How must she be feeling about seeing you confused and disorientated? What must be going through her mind - dementia God forbid?

    You are doing yourself, your wife and your students no favours by struggling on in the manner you describe. Make a decision to make your life better NOW! Get your CV brushed up, think about other jobs you may be able to do and start applying for them.

    Your life could be so much better than it is now but YOU have to make it happen!
  7. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    BRILLIANT!!!! Well done for setting the wheels in motion. As for the part of you that doesn't see you leaving, that part of you could be the part (that's enough parts!) that condemns you to a future of demoralisation, demotivation and despair. It is the cancer of uncertainty that will eat away at you and keep you on the dreary path you are currently treading. It is time for the chemotherapy of challenge and change.

    It is teaching that is blighting your life so your challenge is to change your career and that way you will be changing your life. You know it will not just get better on it's own, it needs positive input from you and you have started the process by making your first job application. You never know, you may get that job but not if you going to let the cancer of doubt steal it from you.

    You would not let a physical disease simply take over and destroy your body, you would get treatment. So don't let the cancer of doubt take over and destroy your future and the medicine is convincing yourself that you WILL get a new career and your future life WILL be better.

    SEBREGIS Lead commenter

    Good luck with that. There is life beyond teaching. Lots of it!
  9. sebedina

    sebedina Occasional commenter

    I honestly think it is WAY MORE than a couple of posters. The others simply haven't had the time to post this as they are getting through each day one day at a time.

    I have seen numerous NQTs suffer greatly because of lack of support, bullying and workload etc. As well as more experienced teachers.
    hfromh, jlishman2158, steely1 and 4 others like this.
  10. mothergoose2013

    mothergoose2013 Occasional commenter

    So much wisdom in this post.
    The trap that we perceive is not real and acknowledging that is the first step to regaining our priorities.
    Life is too damn short, put yourself first, this gives you the ability to prioritise others.
    Things will work out and you will be ok.
  11. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Productive day yesterday jobs hunting and playing with CV again. School have been in touch asking about Monday and when I spoke to them said I'll be in but burst into tears when I got off the phone. I want to go back as I'm just delaying the inevitable though still barely ate yesterday and was wide awake until gone 3am! Suppose I'll see how I feel over the weekend...!
  12. br0wnsugar

    br0wnsugar Occasional commenter

    Thank you Everyone for such great advice and guidance.
    My scenario is slightly different if anyone can offer advice of what to do next, I would be most grateful.
    Been in education since 2002
    I have two 20 something sons about to complete Uni.
    No mortgage
    Had a serious health scare, received treatment, and having follow-up care - not taken time out of teaching
    Lost both parents at the same time
    Now, age in 50s need a change of career from teacher to ….?

    Any advice?
    jlishman2158 likes this.
  13. stonerose

    stonerose Occasional commenter

    Glad that you have taken the first and most vital steps e.g. understanding that you are not well; seeking appropriate help and considering changes.

    My best wishes to you and keep strong.
    jlishman2158, Shedman and agathamorse like this.
  14. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    So many shattered teachers wondering what to do with themselves!
    I realise that I got off lightly.
    There isn't "a" career that you have to go into after teaching. From what I see, you need to accept that there will be a pay cut for a bit. You need to think about how you want to make money - people, numbers, selling things, fixing things, animals or whatever. Think about how this might get money, look for folk or businesses that might be able to use your skills.
    The first stage is to accept that it will take time to reconnect your synapses, it may take time to relearn working relationships, even how to get out of the house, you may need to re-exercise your body.
    Good luck.
    leo07, hfromh, jlishman2158 and 3 others like this.
  15. stonerose

    stonerose Occasional commenter

    [QUOTE="Shedman, post: 12727438, member: 7293581"some teachers may be harming their own children by the priority they give to other peoples'. You have realised this, good.

    As I've said on other threads, family time sacrificed to work is time that you're never going to get back. Will it be worth it when your children are older and they say that they would have loved to have done so many things with you and spent time together but you were always too busy working or too stressed to enjoy that precious time?[/QUOTE]

    So, so true.

    In my extended family there have been many teachers, five in my generation. However in the following generations there are only those who have teaching quals. but who do not practice, They "want a life not a blanket-blank misery existence."

    Teaching is not a career for but a 'gig' and then only if there's nothing else!
    jlishman2158, agathamorse and Shedman like this.
  16. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    So you've had the last 17 years in education and are in your 50s so you must have had a job or career previously. Would you want to return to that or a similar position? You could take the skills you have acquired as a teacher, planning, managing, assessing, communicating, presenting etc and go back to what you left but perhaps a bit further up the ladder.

    You have no mortgage so a drop in pay may be viable. Taking a basic, straightforward job say in admin, NHS, civil service or something more technical depending on you previous experience, may provide a starting point for a new career. If you work half as hard at a new job as you did teaching then your potential, steadiness and experience could lead to rapid advancement. You have at least 10 more working years in you before state pension age and in that time you could forge yourself a successful second, third or fourth career. But if you never dip your toe into the water you'll never know.

    The current 2% unfunded pay recommendation by the government shows that teachers pay will simply be eroded year after year and an experienced teacher like yourself will become even more costly in terms of the proportion of the school's pay bill you absorb. A new career outside of teaching could give you more financial reward than soldiering on as you are.

    Take some time to think about what you want to do and start applying for jobs. Even unpromising vacancies can reveal more interesting work than you anticipated and just getting in an interview could lead to a better job than you expected if you sell yourself well enough. Employers are always on the look out for talent and (ex)teachers are some of the most talented people around. Good luck.
  17. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

  18. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    Back to it tomorrow and hoping to make it until the end of the school year! I'll update after tomorrow is done.
  19. Leigh1999

    Leigh1999 New commenter

    How did it go? Hope you’re OK.
    jlishman2158 and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  20. BurntOutTeacher35

    BurntOutTeacher35 New commenter

    So I was up in the early hours of the morning, just couldn't sleep but determined to go in and see how I feel. Felt so weak from not eating so had breakfast then threw it up! Made it in and had a very positive meeting. Left at lunch today and working the rest of the week on a reduced timetable. I need to Push myself but get the right balance. Been told at any point if I need to be covered just say and it will happen. Review meetings have been set. Just tak8ng one day at a time!
    pepper5, jlishman2158 and agathamorse like this.

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