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Teachers in love: do couples at the same school work?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by TES_Rosaline, Apr 25, 2019.

  1. TES_Rosaline

    TES_Rosaline Administrator Staff Member

    Did you fall for your colleague at work or are you married to a teacher? Do you work in the same department or school or would you like to? Would it help your relationship if you did work together? Some people do fall for their colleagues but how many have continued to work together months or years down the line? Is it too close for comfort or does it strengthen the partnership to know that your partner knows the ins and outs, and pressures of the job like no one else? If so, it would be interesting to get your perspective on why you think your love match works. One teacher reveals her experience of working with her husband who is also in the same department:

    ‘When I tell people that I’m a teacher, it often provokes sympathetic reactions. People don’t envy teachers, and secondary school teachers least of all. When they learn that my husband is also a teacher and that we teach in the same department, in the same school, the sympathy either intensifies or changes to other emotions entirely…

    No one really understands the job like a fellow teacher. It is hard to battle the stereotypes about teacher workload (or lack thereof) that are entrenched in society, and harder when such views are being expressed by the love of your life. Whatever Sisyphean tasks term time brings, the existence of “all those holidays” will always prove that your life is cushy to those who have never taught.

    Huge resentment can set in when non-teachers see their partner marking at all hours, or attending yet another parents’ evening or after-school event. Teachers understand that during term time personal lives and households are often fairly chaotic and life laundry is tackled during breaks – non-teachers may not. Given the huge pressure that all public servants are under, a relationship with a doctor or a police officer could easily turn into a competition for who is the most tired and overwhelmed.’

    Emma Sola is a secondary school teacher at Dorothy Stringer School in Brighton

    Did love blossom over the glue-sticks for you and do you still work with your partner? What's your secret to a happy relationship? Do you know of any couples where working together seemed to work or not for them?

  2. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Are you at a loose end these days?
  3. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    It did, we did until we retired, I am the perfect husband.
  4. newposter

    newposter Occasional commenter

    I’d rather be with a non teacher. I can’t imagine anything worse than both of us opening our laptops at night, and squabbling over whose marking is more important when the kids need bathing.
  5. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    My husband isn't a teacher. It works well for us. I batch cook and fill the freezer in my long holidays. It term-time he heats that night's dinner and cooks the rice or pasta while I get my marking done.
    nizebaby and (deleted member) like this.
  6. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    It is most likely to be a problem when one or both of them are poor or bad teachers. It will certainly be a problem if one or both hold a promoted post. Those that have a spouse working in the same department can hardly be objective. As much as they may protest otherwise or think that they can be objective.
    When I started teaching I was advised by a much older colleague to be wary of working in a school where both spouses work in the same department and never ever take a job in a new school where the HoD is married to another teacher in the same department. I think he was right.
  7. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    I'm more inclined to choose to be with someone because of who they are, not what job they have.

    But it's a bit tricky if the relationship doesn't work and then one is looking for a new job as well as a new home, partner etc. I've known that to happen.
  8. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    Yup. I like being with me regardless of my job.
    primarycat likes this.
  9. cariadwch

    cariadwch Established commenter

    An institution where a friend of mine works had a visit from Ofsted, the Inspection team included a husband and wife in the team. The inspection didn't go so well and they were in special measures. A few months later the husband was installed as Head and the wife employed as a consultant. True love in school....and a nice little earner..
  10. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    A while back the school I worked in had three marriages all between people working in close proximity to each other. ASAIK the relationships remain strong - I recently helped on couple celebrate their silver wedding anniversary.

    I have also witnessed the corrosive nature of extramarital affairs involving staff in the school. These don't usually end well.
  11. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    In my experience, the workplace was always the most common place for couples to start relationships. It may be different these days, now that dating apps have become popular, but it was always easier to date someone you'd got to know at work, than it was a complete stranger.

    Never short of an anecdote, I recall that 1974 was a good year for getting dates. There was a national strike over a pay award that had been agreed two years earlier, but the government were refusing to pay, in case it led to other pay demands.

    There was a picket line turning away all non-essential goods, among which was the food destined for the staff canteen. I was on a picket line handing out leaflets by the hospital front gates, rather than among those at the rear entrance near goods in, so I didn't have to ask any truck drivers not to deliver, but at the front gates we took all the abuse from disgruntled hospital workers who were being denied their subsidised lunches.

    Conversations would typically go like this.

    "It's alright for you lot hanging around out 'ere, sunnin' yer bleedin' selves, but I'm on a nurses salary and I've 'ad to spend half me lunch break queuing up for sandwiches at a quid a go, when I could 'ave been 'aving steak 'n chips for 'alf that much!"

    "I'm sorry about that, girl, but we're only trying to get the money we're owed and if we don't make a stance, they'll be doing the same to you next. I tell you what though, how about you let me make it up to you? Meet me here when you've finished your shift and I'll take you out to a nice restaurant for some proper steak and chips and I'll chuck in a crate of Babycham as well..."
  12. Ivartheboneless

    Ivartheboneless Star commenter

    Doesn't it depend on whether you do the coupling at work?
  13. LondonCanary

    LondonCanary Star commenter

    I saw that film too.

    Attached Files:

  14. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    A husband and wife worked at my last school. He booked a place for them both at the Christmas party once and tried to negotiate a reduced rate involving sharing one meal.
  15. Oldfashioned

    Oldfashioned Senior commenter

    Worked fine for me and my good lady. We have worked together many times and we are now running a business together.
  16. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Love how this sounds like a chat up line.

    Maleficent will have to be told.
  17. racroesus

    racroesus Star commenter

    It was always my problem; I could never recognise a chat-up line.
  18. nizebaby

    nizebaby Star commenter

    I can understand why Rosaline is starting new threads. There is a certain top-heaviness about this forum at the moment.
  19. MrMedia

    MrMedia Star commenter

    I know a couple at a school with children. When it’s parents evening it’s a nightmare for them. When the kid is sick, they keep asking that the husband comes in and the wife stays at home because his work is harder to cover!
  20. minnie me

    minnie me Star commenter

    I have thought that about quite a few of the TES ( yawn ) question threads of late..... smacking somewhat of desperation / job justification ? !

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