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Teacher Workload Crisis Solved !!

Discussion in 'Education news' started by bogwert, Apr 15, 2016.

  1. bogwert

    bogwert New commenter

  2. Penguinitis

    Penguinitis Occasional commenter

  3. SportyK

    SportyK Occasional commenter

    Sounds spot on to me. Next, "All Teaching Assistants to be sacked as part of the new Academies plan to cut additional costs." After all teachers should be able to prove that they can independently teach classes of 30+ with 50% on the SEN register and a further 25% FSM or PP.
  4. maggieDD

    maggieDD New commenter

    Unfortunately that idea isn't satire.
  5. SportyK

    SportyK Occasional commenter

    Exactly. It's already started happening. Disgraceful.
  6. FrankWolley

    FrankWolley Star commenter

    Link doesn't work for me....
  7. AaronCocker

    AaronCocker New commenter

  8. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

  9. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

  10. AaronCocker

    AaronCocker New commenter

    It keeps putting this 'http://%20 ' at the start of the end of the URL, tested on Microsoft Edge and Safari on my iPhone. I think it is just a TES forum software quirk.
  11. NarnianRoyalty

    NarnianRoyalty Occasional commenter

    If Carlsberg did dfe statements :-D
  12. hhhh

    hhhh Lead commenter

    Careful-some say knocking anything to do with teaching or the NHS is evil.
  13. Weald56

    Weald56 Established commenter

    This one works, for me, at least.

    Here it is:

    Teacher Workload Crisis Solved – Say Department for Education
    By Druids Loom Reporter on April 15, 2016No Comment

    The Department for Education announced today, that the teacher workload crisis had been averted, as teachers are now working more overtime than any other professional to compensate.

    Maybe Now Teachers will Quit Moaning – Say Ministers
    Shivmirthyu / Pixabay
    Thanks to teachers working more overtime than any other profession their workload crisis has been solved; the Department for Education announced today.

    In a bizarre and nonsensical statement they reasoned, “The main problem is that teachers couldn’t get all the jobs done, that we piled on them with all our amazing and successful new initiatives. This was because they spend their day ‘teaching’ and stuff. Thanks to teachers now working more overtime than any other profession, this has been solved.

    Clocking Off at 3.30pm
    A spokeswoman for the Department for Education, Lucy Burpfodder, told the Druid’s Loom, “We are all aware that teachers only ‘work’ a five hour day – starting at 9am and clocking off at 3.30pm – with playtime and dinner times in between. They also have a very generous holiday entitlement. It is only fair then, that they spend this extra time working and working… and working on all the crazy **** we send their way.”

    Workload Crisis Averted
    By spreading this work over their remaining waking hours and in their holidays for no extra pay, it means that the workload crisis has been averted.” Mrs Burpfodder continued, puckering up her anus like lips. “This now means we can introduce a load more ********, such as two brand new assessments for Primary kids, and compulsory ‘dusk ’til dawn’ homework clubs for Secondary students.

    Looking at Leaves
    Primary teacher, Sarah Hartwell, tried to explain to the Druid’s Loom through her sobs, “I get up and prepare and plan, then I teach, then I mark, and mark and mark, using 3 different ******* types of pen. After that I have a **** load of performance review objectives to meet, and an after school nature club where I take the kids out to look at leaves for a bit. When I get home I am planning for the next day until I fall asleep in my own tears.

    In their concluding statement the Department of Education had this message for teachers, “Teacher’s should be grateful to Nicky Morgan and the Conservative Government for having their best interests at heart. Only by breaking teachers, can we hope to develop a world-class education system.
    sabrinakat likes this.
  14. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

  15. drek

    drek Star commenter

    Today I'm going to be forced to receive 'training' from the secretly, (Internal on the quiet), promoted head of a department, about how to get EAL students to pass a computerised course (similar to driving tests) owing to a shortage of staff in that department.
    They have to follow instructions (in a language they don't understand) and pass 4 individual modules to get a certificate.
    The trainer successfully'got' 50 confident English speakers to 'pass', and left those that could not understand the instructions, halfway through the year, so that other 'non-leadership' teachers could take the fall, despite the 'support' provided (by the same person who did the student dumping, and who has got a promotion out of it).
    Typical or what?
    School managerial positions are getting filled more and more with inept people who then line manage departments on subjects they don't have a clue about.
    People who pass the buck with a lot of waffle and confidence behind them!
    I'm teaching year groups 7 to 13 in my own subject area and at a time when controlled assessments, mocks and revision are intensifying, I was ordered to grasp the course essentials over Easter holidays so that I could be 'prepared' to 'formally' teach a unit that is essentially an online course designed for independent practice sessions by the newest SLT member.
    She is line managing the newly promoted hod. Getting the picture?
    Basically being asked to take responsibility for a mess created by others.
    They expect a 100 percent pass but included students who cannot understand the language of instruction on the course!
    So what do they do?
    Run from the scene of the crime in case it affects their promotion opportunities! Just like Gove and Nicky and hundreds of 'education' people who endlessly 'change' things for the sake of money and then run away from the responsibility!
    But they will no doubt become lucrative future education school board members if not future 'consultants'.
    peggylu likes this.

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