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Discussion in 'Parenting' started by mrsfabmoretti, Apr 19, 2011.

  1. Hiya,
    My LO is almost 14.5 months and, in the past week or so, has started having lots of temper tantrums. If he can't have his own way, then he throws himself on the floor and screams. I do what the books say and hold him until he's settled and then give lots of cuddles, and know it's part of their development.
    But I often wonder if I cause some of them by being too strict, as I worry about him turning in to one of those horrible children you see on Super Nanny! For example, tantrums today included: being told he couldn't have my foundation brush to play with; being strapped in to his car seat; the car keys being taken off him; turning the tap off as the bath was getting full.
    It doesn't help that my mum (who looks after LO three days a week whilst I'm at work) has a 'oh- just let him do it/ give him it' approach, which makes me feel even worse!
  2. Woops- posted too early. Am I being mean, and should I lessen my boundaries to avoid some of the tantrums? Or is it best to stick to my guns, and face a tantrum?
  3. Hi mrsfab, the things you describe are not strict at all; I let LO hold the keys for a bit when moving her from car to house but then she must give them back. Not only does she chew them (which must be bad for her teeth!) but also she could put them anywhere and I wouldn't ever see them again. Same with the other things- I wouldn't say you were being mean at all. Children thrive with strict boundaries; you'll see at school the products of parents who give in to avoid their children having tantrums! You're doing fine.
    The mum things is irritating; although nans are allowed to spoil their grandchildren, they should also work with you to enforce your behaviour management, particularly when they look after LOs during the week. Perhaps have a gentle word with her?
    I haven't heard or read that you hold a child having a tantrum- I just let her get on with it and then distract her! She seems to understand everything we say so I do reason with her in simple language, e.g. if she's kicking off about me putting her shoes on, I'll say, "Do you want to go out?" to which she will nod or say "Eh" (yeah), then I'll say "Then you need shoes on". Doesn't always work but I always try it!
  4. GemLP

    GemLP New commenter

    I saw this and couldnt not post! My daughter is wxactly the same age and has just started the tantruming - at the weekend it was becasue she had her reins on and I pulled them to stop her running it to the road - she properly threw herself on the floor and full on screamed - I am so naughty as I have to really try not to laugh!
    I agree with Clem - distraction is the key - usually I will find some other (safer!!) object / toy / food to distract her from the tantrum and she is fine.
    I wont divert away from my rules - generally I am quite laid back but there are things she needs to learn, and it is important not to cave. The tantrums are often from my LO, a case of not being able to communiucate and so frustration - I am sure they will ease as she can ask for things / express what she wants or needs!

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