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TA talking about me!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lhunt2, Jul 17, 2012.

  1. Two boys in my class told me today that they heard our class TA (Miss X) say to another TA that I couldn't control my class. I'm so upset, for a start Miss X is a (supposed) friend of mine, I think it's so unprofessional that this could be overheard by the children, and it's really dented my confidence. I've never been worried about controlling them before, they are chatty, it was wet play all day yesterday so they were a bit doolally, but I feel really hurt! I feel this has ruined our last week of working together, I also don't feel like I can ask her about it as I'm too upset. Should I just forget it, how would you handle it?
     
  2. Two boys in my class told me today that they heard our class TA (Miss X) say to another TA that I couldn't control my class. I'm so upset, for a start Miss X is a (supposed) friend of mine, I think it's so unprofessional that this could be overheard by the children, and it's really dented my confidence. I've never been worried about controlling them before, they are chatty, it was wet play all day yesterday so they were a bit doolally, but I feel really hurt! I feel this has ruined our last week of working together, I also don't feel like I can ask her about it as I'm too upset. Should I just forget it, how would you handle it?
     
  3. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    If you've only got one more week of working with her then I'd leave it. She sounds silly and unprofessional but then again, how do you know the boys are telling the truth or have got the right end of the stick. Forget about it. The holidays will be here in no time.
     
  4. I don't know the way Primary schools work, but if it had happened to me in Secondary, I would gone to SENCO to lodge my complaint and demand a meeting with the TA. In Primary is there a Key Stage leader or do such complaints go straight to the Head? In my experience, it's so easy to criticise if you are not the one in front of all the children- much easier to mange the behaviour/learning of a small group.
     
  5. dozymare1957

    dozymare1957 Occasional commenter

    Whilst this is hurtful to you and has dented your confidence, it is hearsay. You don't really know who said what and what the context was. It could have been "Mrs Y's class were really naughty today because of the weather. It's no wonder she had trouble controlling them." said laughingly. Would you consider that to be hurtful, disloyal or unprofessional? The two TAs could have been having a discussion about the general effect bad weather has on children's behaviour.
    Try to forget about it. I know that's hard but it is the best thing to do. Don't lose a friend over some misunderstanding.
    You could ask for clarification but this might cause a really big rift between you because your friend (not your TA) could feel embarrassed. If it was a jokey comment she's probably forgotten saying it and you could just open up a can of worms.
    I'd be more inclined to say, "They were little beggers yesterday, weren't they? I had real trouble controlling them in the afternoon. Did you notice?"
    Don't fall out with your friend.
     
  6. DaisysLot

    DaisysLot Senior commenter

    Spread a rumor that she's got nits in return. :p
     
  7. Thanks all for the advice, I think I will leave it, i'll try and be positive and think that she did say it in the context that you have suggested dozy. I hate confrontation, particularly with friends, but I also hate the thought that anyone would talk about me in a negative way, particulary as I think of myself as being a particularly unbitchy person! Feel better for sharing though.
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Yes.
    This sort of conversation with pupils is unprofessional and should always be discouraged.

     
  9. Ha ha, love the nits idea! Maybe this worm will turn and I will get my revenge somehow!
     
  10. dozymare1957

    dozymare1957 Occasional commenter

    Sometimes that's all it takes.
    You just carry on being the kind person that you are.
     
  11. It wasn't a conversation, it was a 'Miss, we heard.... blah blah', from them and a 'well you shouldn't be listening to other people's conversation, go and blah blah' from me.
     
  12. dozymare1957

    dozymare1957 Occasional commenter

    Remember this is your friend not just your TA.
    This idea is definitely funny but don't do anything to lower your standards. Rise above!
     
  13. No, I won't really, I'll smile and be my normal happy self. On reflection, I'm sure if she did say it in an unkind way she probably felt bad afterwards so that's enough. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings for anything.
     
  14. aspensquiver

    aspensquiver Star commenter

    Of course not - especially as she has not hurt your feelings at all.
     
  15. "Really? Perhaps you and your classmates should improve your behaviour then."
     
  16. True Kinsa.
    When TAs were first introduced, (and in the years afterwards) they'd regularly confide that they enjoyed their role much more in some classes than in others. They'd rate teachers...depending mostly on their control and organisation, and I suppose in a way that's only natural. They'd have their own area of the staffroom (when I left we had 17 TAs) and of course they'd talk amongst themselves. Human nature, albeit not very professional.
    In secondary you don't work with just one TA....and I was lucky that all those who came to my classroom were friendly. We'd be able to fit in a natter at some point, even if it was only clearing up afterwards. They may well have been critical of me - who knows? However, we all socialised together too.
    I am sure this sort of thing goes on lots.
    The report of a child could be very innacurate. I'd be inclined to try and forget the whole thing and look forward to the holidays.
     

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