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Supply, wait for permanent to start a family?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by bristolmover, Sep 10, 2012.

  1. bristolmover

    bristolmover New commenter

    I'm approaching 30 and soon to be married and we want a big family, so torn between heart and head.
    I'm supply. Have been working in the same job for roughly a year and they'll be advertising for permanent end of Dec but it's a long commute, tough school, and ideally I want to be anywhere else.
    Do I wait til I find the permanent job I want, which may take a while, and then aim to go on maternity anyway? I'm aware this is not the best approach to jobhunting and falling pregnant may not be easy, but I'm talking ideal scenario...
    Or do I just try for a baby regardless? Then I'd look for a new job depending on my situation.
    I don't know how much my finances would be affected.
    Head says sort career first. Heart says that may never happen and I want a baby!
    Ideas? Thanks
  2. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    I've been in this situation although I was far older than you and had already tried for a while without success so had no option but to try for the baby.
    Normally with someone your age I'd say get the job sorted and then try but you mentioned wanting a large family - I'm assuming you mean at least three children, maybe four or more? This means you don't just want to be able to get pregnant when you want baby number 1 but for several years after.
    After my own experience (I never managed to get pregnant and I've given up trying) I would say give yourself a deadline of no later than your very early 30s. If there's no job then go for the baby anyway. I had IVF and a lot of people think that's a fall back for older women but it's actually more of a fall back for younger women with fertility issues - IVF is more successful in women under 35.
    The other thing I'd say is that even though I never got pregnant I know I really tried by focusing on that more than work. I've sort of got my career back on track anyway but in that aspect of my life I have just been lucky.
    Good luck whatever you decide to do.
  3. bristolmover

    bristolmover New commenter

    Thank you so much for sharing. I know you are all right and we'll cope whatever, and family is more important than anything, but I have always been sensible and don't want to fear for how I'll provide for my family.
    But people cope with far less. I have been teaching for 4 years, and like one poster here, left a very good permanent job a few years ago due to having a terrible time at work. I don't regret leaving although I never expected it to be so hard finding another job. I have coped on Jobseekers before so I know that now I have met my partner and we have savings and careers it could be worse. Hopefully I'll find a job but if not I don't think I want to put this on hold for much longer!
  4. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    These days is any job safe? And you may decide to give up work after having a baby, depending on your personal situation and wishes.
  5. gapolden

    gapolden New commenter

    Like you I was going to wait til I got permanent job, but after 4 years of looking and from going from maternity cover to the next, and an unplanned pregnancy (which sadly ended in miscarriage). My husband and I decided to go for it 'cos there might never be a right it start a family. I'm now 12 weeks and a job has just come up at a school I worked at for 9 months & I'm applying for it. I'm not going to tell them I'm pregnant unless they offer me the job. If I do get it I'll be 28 weeks :)
    Wish you luck in whatever you decide :)
  6. bristolmover

    bristolmover New commenter

    Fantastic - so glad it's working out for you. Hope you get the job!

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