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Student got into my head!

Discussion in 'Secondary' started by c616williams, Dec 2, 2016.

  1. c616williams

    c616williams New commenter

    Hi, am normally quite good at not letting student comments bother me but this one has really got to me.
    Am in my nqt year and teach a student who has extreme arrogance, it's a difficult yr 9 group but have come a long way with them and lessons with them are far better now than they first were. Despite this though I do sometimes worry about my control of the group and the occasional lack of respect they show me. Today the particularly arrogant student who I mentioned stayed behind at the end of the lesson and said to me ' you know if you want to control us you need to shout at us and then people will be scared of you" I realise I should have told him to be quiet and leave, but because he touched a nerve I did instead remind him that the group have come a very far way since the start of the year and lessons are now far better, his response was ' well you keep telling yourself that' anyway he's really got into my head, not helped by as I said me having a few insecurities regarding control/respect anyway. I have once/twice shouted but try not to as I see that more as being a loss of control. Anyway, any thoughts appreciated as he has got into my head rather and I want to be able to enjoy my weekend!
    Thank you.
    pepper5 likes this.
  2. blueskydreaming

    blueskydreaming Lead commenter

    What he said might be true - depends what sort of school you're in - if it's a 'shouty' school, that will be what students are used to and what they expect from teachers. I was told by DH last year to pick a cocky student and shout at them, in order to shock the rest of the class into submission. He was a ****** and a snake, so I did not follow that advice, because that is not who I want to be. You don't have to conform to how the students expect you to be, or how the other teachers are. Continue to do as you are doing; building relationships based on respect, not fear.
  3. dunnocks

    dunnocks Star commenter

    ignore his "advice" shouting doesn't work, more likely you will just get laughed at.

    he is an arrogant little **** who thinks he knows how to teach. maybe a little bit of class presentation work?? Allocate him something really boring or difficult to explain to the class and see how he feels!

    really, half the population think they can teach, cos of course they have all been in schools! You will get any number of ignoramuses (ignorami?) throughout your career telling you how to do it - many will have nothing to do with education, unfortunately some will be in SMT....

    You just have to get used to this, smile sweetly, blank them out in your head, never take it personally.

    Your response next time could be something along the lines of "I shout to control dogs, young adults don't need controlling, they control themselves" or similar.

    Years ago, when we were nasty little teens ourselves, we told an RE teacher that other teachers controlled us by standing on the desk and shouting. Of course he tried it, and we all had a good laugh......

    I'm very very sorry, Mr Hardy, where ever you are
    sabrinakat likes this.
  4. krisgreg30

    krisgreg30 Occasional commenter

    Ignore it completely. Funnily enough yesterday I let a child try to get everyone to tidy up and sit down quietly as he wanted to have a go being a teacher. After a few minutes he gave up and asked to swap back. Within five seconds of swapping back the class were sat down and the child was asking how I made it look so easy. Whilst it was for a bit of fun, it highlights in your case that children don't know the answer for dealing with class management and to trust in your own professional judgement.
    sabrinakat and pepper5 like this.
  5. pepper5

    pepper5 Star commenter

    Have a golden rule never to raise your voice except if a student is in danger. Yes, you can raise your voice slightly if you have to get attention, but never shout or scream, as it makes you look like you have lost control; much of the disruption is from students who try to wind up a teacher to see how far they can go before the teacher either takes action or shouts.

    Some year 9s are immature - they haven't the wisdom or the life experience to know how to conduct themselves and definitely are not in a position to give you advice on what to do. That isn't his fault : after all he is only 15 years old. Saying that, I have seen some very wise and mature year 9s.

    Next time, tell him that you cannot control anyone, but that each person makes their own choices each day whether to follow the reasonable rules of your classroom. If they make the correct choice then they learn and have rewards, but if they make the incorrect choice then there will be consequences. It is a lesson that he needs to learn and some people learn it quicker than others. It is the price of a decision - there will always be consequences either good or bad for every decision made.
  6. NewToTeachingOldToMaths

    NewToTeachingOldToMaths Lead commenter

    Thank you for brightening my day ...
    pepper5 likes this.
  7. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    Manipulative wee scrote.
    Try to forget about it. If he says something similar again I'd be inclined to point out you're a teacher not a prison warden and that you expect pupils to be able to control themselves. Always make behaviour their responsibility not yours.
    dunnocks and pepper5 like this.
  8. Shedman

    Shedman Star commenter

    Listen to this little sh *t at your peril. He thinks he's spotted some perceived weakness and is using it to needle you or he's trying to manipulate you into behaving in a certain manner that he can brag about to his mates. He's trying to undermine you and cause you to doubt your own judgement. Carry on doing what you think is the best course of action. If he tries this sort of stunt again just cut him dead with 'Thank you, when I need your advice I'll ask for it.'
    dunnocks likes this.
  9. binaryhex

    binaryhex Lead commenter

    We have a number of these trainee high-functioning sociopaths in my current school. They will do a great job of trying to get under your skin, reason why your teaching and class management won't work and offer you advice, if you let them. You can't win. Just stay calm and follow the school procedures. These will of course not work nor will they be followed by the senior management team so start looking for a job in a nice school, a Grammar or Independent, where this kind of issue arises less frequently.
    dunnocks likes this.
  10. MissSidney

    MissSidney New commenter

    Recognise the fact that he is a child; a child shouldn't be able to make you (a well educated professional!) question their judgement and ability to teach.

    In terms of your classroom management techniques, I personally believe that shouting should only be used in really extreme situations. You should speak to your mentor about advice for your behaviour techniques; they will obviously have a much better understanding of your school and the individual student than we do.

    Chin up, it gets easier ☺️

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