As the title suggests, I am really struggling at the moment. I work part time as I have a chronic illness which causes pain and severe fatigue, amongst other issues. My problem is that within my part time hours I have to cram in so much that I am left crying with pain on the drive home, and exhausted all weekend. The post I work in was originally KS1 but then I got moved to EYFS. Since the move I have explained about my illness and have had to reduce my hours because foundation stage teaching is so physical. I have to do a disproportionate number of break duties (as do all part time staff but I seem to do the most, pro-rata for some reason) and this does not help. I know break times are for the children and not teachers but it’s not fair that full time staff get break times just to nip to the loo or get a drink. I don’t get chance to talk to anyone and feel really lonely and never know what’s going on around school because staff meetings are on my day off. I feel that, because of pain, I can’t do my job as well as I should be doing. A few things have been mentioned about things I should be doing (more outdoor learning, setting up more exciting continuous provision, etc) but they are all physical things that I struggle to do. I am now terrified they are going to put me on capability as I hear if mentioned a lot on here. I have got to a point where I am really depressed, I know I can be a good teacher, but just not in the Eyfs. The pain is just relentless. I am now struggling with anxiety, every morning I feel sick when I wake up, wondering how the hell I can get through the day. Even on my days off all I do is either work for school or sit dreading going in. At times I go to bed and hope I don’t ever have to wake up. I can’t sleep for worrying about all the things I am not doing right, and every time I go into school I tell myself I will just push through the pain and do it anyway, but i just feel worse and worse as the day goes on. I would love some advice, or even just some understanding comments from anyone who has experienced similar circumstances. I don’t want to go to the drs because they will probably sign me off - they are “clamping down” on sickness at school and I am worried how I would be treated when I returned.