I just need to talk somewhere as I'm struggling with my emotions at work and very few people understand. My colleague died suddenly earlier in the year. It was a horrible shock and reduced us all to a blithering mess. We bravely battled through trying to keep the school working but somewhere lost our ability to talk about what happened and how we felt and how much we missed him. We are now organising a memorial event for Friday and I'm struggling to hold it together. The kids are talking again about how much they miss him and asking difficult questions, his wife and daughter will be in school and it's all just come crashing back to me about how unfair and horrid it all is. I feel like I have no right to feel this way as his family and those colleagues who were close friends clearly have it a billion times worse but I just want to cry all the time. I'm worried about some of the people around me. I know how I feel and they must feel worse. Everyone is being brave and pretending they are fine but I know this is hurting us all. I think we are all just too afraid of upsetting each other to say it out loud. I'm wondering if anyone has been through this and how you coped. I know eventually we will get there but at the moment it feels like we will grieve forever. It has been months already. People have told me to get over it and they're right, after all, I'm not the poor guys family, but it's hard to get over losing someone who meant so much to so many people and whose absence is felt every day.