Hi I'm really stressed about the A-level results on Thursday. I'm honestly not expecting anyone to get above a D. During the year we had no one in 'charge' of the cohort but I had the most lessons with the students. To say they were a weak cohort is an understatement. We had one great student but he fell off track at the end. I teach a practical subject but during their final weeks I was suspended pending investigation (this is all cleared up now) but I missed their final weeks of practical lessons which let some of the coursework down, I was also offering after school sessions and they could come in during my PPAs but I wasnt there to offer that. Many of them dropped marks in their coursework because they didnt finish their evaluation or tidy up the ends of it - they did have time but many of them told me they couldn't be bothered which easily dropped them another grade in the coursework. Again I wasnt there to make sure they got everything done. The suspension led me to having time off work, when my suspension was lifted I went off with stress because I was still under investigation and couldn't cope. One student from my class told me directly that it was all my fault they were going to fail - the end of the investigation led to results that were not directly my fault but I still feel guilty that I wasnt there. This also meant I missed a lot of exam prep with them. They did at least one lesson a week over two years of exam prep but the plan was to cover exam technique during the time I was off. I also wasnt the teacher that went on the training course for the new specification and the teacher that did failed to share much if any information with the rest of the team despite us asking them multiple times. I have already put plans into place for the current year 12s and those moving into year 13 to close the gaps in their knowledge, I'm booked on a training course and I've spent a lot of the summer trying to improve my own knowledge of the course but I dont feel this will be enough. The school has amended my contract to put me in lead of the A-level next year and I feel like it was a huge mistake to accept this. I'm already on anti anxiety meds and honestly just feel fear, I dont want to increase my dose but I know I'm on them purely because of my job. I just feel like I'm coming up with excuses for myself and that I didnt do enough.