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Stir crazy

Discussion in 'Personal' started by surf kitty too, Feb 7, 2011.

  1. surf kitty too

    surf kitty too New commenter

    I need advice....
    I got divorced about 2 years ago. I live on my own. I love my little house, but am slowly starting to go stir crazy.
    Last year, I was seeing a nice guy, but he lived over 120 miles away, so it was occasional weekends, hols only, with texts and phone calls in between. I struggled to keep up with work if I went away to his at the weekend, and eventually, we fizzled out.
    I have a 'friend' who I see maybe once every 6 weeks. We never go out, but he comes to see me, we have 'a good evening', and he goes home.... he never phones, or texts unless to ask me if I am free that week.... I am not sure if he is using me, or am I using him??? Does it matter? And now he is off to Europe for 6 months so I won't see him anyway.
    I don't want someone here with me full time. Think it would drive me nuts tbh. But I want more than an occasional friend with benefits. I honestly don't know what I want....
    Internet dating? No thanks. There is no-one at work, I have a very small (non-existant!) social circle. I have tried the gym, coffee shops on a saturday pm, even singles holidays!
    Workload is such that I work all day sunday. I am marking now, and will be all evening. I have 2 sets of reports to write. I have coursework to mark, and lessons to plan.
    I know some of you will say - get out there, go socialise! But its so flippin hard....
    Sorry, not really looking for answers, just needed to write it down to help me get a grip [​IMG]

     
  2. surf kitty too

    surf kitty too New commenter

    I need advice....
    I got divorced about 2 years ago. I live on my own. I love my little house, but am slowly starting to go stir crazy.
    Last year, I was seeing a nice guy, but he lived over 120 miles away, so it was occasional weekends, hols only, with texts and phone calls in between. I struggled to keep up with work if I went away to his at the weekend, and eventually, we fizzled out.
    I have a 'friend' who I see maybe once every 6 weeks. We never go out, but he comes to see me, we have 'a good evening', and he goes home.... he never phones, or texts unless to ask me if I am free that week.... I am not sure if he is using me, or am I using him??? Does it matter? And now he is off to Europe for 6 months so I won't see him anyway.
    I don't want someone here with me full time. Think it would drive me nuts tbh. But I want more than an occasional friend with benefits. I honestly don't know what I want....
    Internet dating? No thanks. There is no-one at work, I have a very small (non-existant!) social circle. I have tried the gym, coffee shops on a saturday pm, even singles holidays!
    Workload is such that I work all day sunday. I am marking now, and will be all evening. I have 2 sets of reports to write. I have coursework to mark, and lessons to plan.
    I know some of you will say - get out there, go socialise! But its so flippin hard....
    Sorry, not really looking for answers, just needed to write it down to help me get a grip [​IMG]

     
  3. You don;tneed to get a grip at all IMO, it's not easy to meet people. Wondering why you are so against the internet dating thing. I met the man of my dreams online and we would have never met conventionally. i had a couple of long-term relationships with men i met online, yes i met a few guys that i didn't click withbut still had some pleasant nights out.

    I was happy being single in my house doing my thing and having someone in my life (not full time) so understand where you are coming from.
     
  4. Is there a community centre in your area that runs night or weekend classes? Not something you have to practice in your spare time, like learning a language....you sound busy enough as is! But cooking? Woodwork? Computer classes?
    Even if you don't immediately meet a nice potential partner, you could widen your social circle, which could lead to you meeting someone special later..... Good luck! x
     
  5. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    You are me. I don't want a relationship, I have neither the time or the energy. What I would like is maybe a man who exists from Friday night - Sunday morning and perhaps one night in the week.
    That's not a problem in itself, the problem is that I would also like them to be readily available when I need them (although I generally wouldn't), not looking to sleep with someone else as well, eager to put in a bit of effort and generally honest. This is not a combination that sits well with the above scenario, as anyone who is happy to get into a highly restrictive and probably-not-going-anywhere-for-some-time relationship such as I am capable of atm is unlikely to take it at all seriously.
    It sucks. I am trying not to think about it. Instead, I'm going to try to take an art class at some stage this year. I daresay that putting a bit of concerted effort into learning a new skill will be far more satisfactory and fun. [​IMG]
    (PS I wouldn't want to internet date either - not that I have anything against anyone who does, it's just that the whole concept of 'dating' puts my teeth on edge, and I hate the idea of going out with someone and then waiting to see if they stamp me with a tick or a cross. I miss the days where you met people at parties).
     
  6. learningyoghurt

    learningyoghurt New commenter

    (I also miss the days when I went to parties)
     

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