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Still lonely... lol

Discussion in 'Personal' started by lillipad, May 24, 2011.

  1. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    You may remember me posting a couple of months ago about having no friends... Well my situation hasn't changed. Everyone always seems to be making plans that don't involve me, and I feel very isolated and my life consists of work, work and then home to bed! Any suggestions?
     
  2. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    You may remember me posting a couple of months ago about having no friends... Well my situation hasn't changed. Everyone always seems to be making plans that don't involve me, and I feel very isolated and my life consists of work, work and then home to bed! Any suggestions?
     
  3. Join in.
    Clubs, groups, am dram there's always stuff to do back stage if you don't like the limelight.
    Classes.
    Walking, running, cycling, pottery painting, pretty much anything that gets you out there meeting people.

     
  4. I'm moving in three weeks for my first full time teaching position [​IMG] As I won't know anyone apart from the bf I'm looking at joining a canoe club as not only will it keep me fit it also seems to have a good social side to it too. I'm useless at team sports so this seems like a less scary way of making new friends.
    I'm also considering joining the website city socialising as I've always heard good things about it. It's kind of like internet dating but for making friends.
     
  5. bnm

    bnm

    What have you done in those months to get out and about and make friends?
     
  6. I'm similar. I've been single for 4 years and my friends are all married with kids etc. The main problem for me is that my job is so stressful and time consuming that I don't get time (or energy) to go out and meet people!
     
  7. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Exactly... and I do have a bf, but he's in the army so is away a lot.

    In the last couple of months I tried to build some bridges with existing friends, asking to meet up and stuff, and just kept getting fobbed off to be honest!!
     
  8. Join clubs. Go out and do stuff.
    Sadly, friends won't just turn up in the post.
     
  9. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Can't remember what you tried last time - wasn't it a meet up group,didn't it help at all. I just think that we sometimes make too much of this friends thing - acquaintances and colleagues can be valuable in your life too. Maybe you haven't given things enough time. Having said that I am really sorry you're lonely - it's so easy to look at other people and think their lives are so much fun.
     
  10. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    I tried to find a meet up group, there are literally none! I went down the course route last year, but that didn't work either! And Pink, it's not as simple as "Go out" !!!
     
  11. As someone who lives on their own and has been single most of their adult life, I know it's not the easiest thing just to get out and make new friends. Of course, we do need to get out but I find at my age, most people are couples and families which makes things difficult. I have joined a meet up group though and have met some nice people there. I try to get dates booked in with friends who live further away so on the whole I'm quite lucky. It would just be nice to have friends in this town but it's a small market town so not very 'happening'! I think I need to move somewhere with a bit more life!
     
  12. I find holidays the worst thing. I'd love a sunshine holiday this year but there is noone to go with. Everyone says I should just go on my own but I think I'd feel lonely with nobody to talk to and eating in restaurants by myself every night. I'm nearly 35 and feel like I should be off on holidays and enjoying myself but unfortunately there is nobody to do these things with!
     
  13. bnm

    bnm

    There will be something happening near where you live. Whatever it is-do it! Afterall, how do you know you don't like parachuting/cake-baking/table tennis/water-polo until you try it?
    I have, in my time, joined a bell ringing group, a badminton group, the women's institute, a marriage counselling committee, a walking club, a dancing group, a scrabble club etc etc and I live in the back of beyond. It doesn't matter that much if you enjoy the "thing" or not, as one set of people, over time, leads to another.
    I'm afraid you do just have to get out there and do it for yourself. Initially, don't set your objective as making friends; set it as getting out of the house and interacting with other people at least twice a week.
     
  14. So what do you want to happen then?
    You meet people by getting out and joining in with things. I didn't say it was simple. I'm battling through depression and trying to use this advice from my doctor. People won't come to you, you have to find them.
     
  15. lillipad

    lillipad New commenter

    Fiona - where do you live?

    And about the 'joining in' with stuff, there is honestly, nothing in my area that caters for a 26 year old. I'm not a church going type, or a gym type and I remember last time people said that gym wasn't a good place to meet people. I've joined a couple of websites for making new friends but find those a bit hit and miss. Maybe i'll try and badger the people I do know again, just have this fear of being rejected or fobbed off again now! :(
     
  16. bnm

    bnm

    Your age is irrelevant. I've made good friends with a group of ladies in their 70s and 80s and we have a fab time together.
    Join EVERYTHING.
     
  17. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Fiona, why not look at group adventure holidays like Exodus or Responsible Travel. They are pricey but if you saved up......
     
  18. OP I'm in Sussex! I think from chatting on your thread before, we are not local to each other!
    I think my main issues is my job and the fact it takes over my life. I leave at 7.30am and get in just before 7pm usually (and often have more work to do then). It's so stressful and draining that I don't have the time to join things and go out (or if I do, I feel too ill from it all!). I am going to address this by looking for another job as I really need to prioritise my life over my job.
     
  19. Yes have thought about that. I'd probably prefer a more relaxing type holiday but it's worth looking into as the company is important. I'm happy doing my own thing in the day etc but it's the evenings I would find hard.
     
  20. lindenlea

    lindenlea Star commenter

    Well it would give you something to talk about at the hairdressers - a totally vital part of holidaying don't you think[​IMG]
     

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