1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded education professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Still have times when I feel heart broken

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ff392, Jan 13, 2012.

  1. True - my ex is ........ ( and could list many words but they would be blocked...)
    It's been 9 months since I kicked him out, he still lives with the other woman.
    I've just started divorce preceedings....
    And have recently had a not nice encounter with him....
    Can anyone explain why I have some odd times when there is a trigger and I feel heart broken all over again?
    Does it ever go!!!!!

     
  2. True - my ex is ........ ( and could list many words but they would be blocked...)
    It's been 9 months since I kicked him out, he still lives with the other woman.
    I've just started divorce preceedings....
    And have recently had a not nice encounter with him....
    Can anyone explain why I have some odd times when there is a trigger and I feel heart broken all over again?
    Does it ever go!!!!!

     
  3. kittylion

    kittylion Senior commenter

    Yes it does go eventually - or rather these triggers become rarer and rarer and in the periods between them you feel happier.

    I felt a lot better when the divorce was through and I didn't have to be in contact with him any more. He now contacts our grown up sons from time to time and when they are talking to him on the phone it doesn't really bother me at all although I used to have to leave the room.

    He is now married to the other woman and that doesn't bother me either. I quite often think that she is very welcome to him lol.

    It's only been 9 months for you - not even a year - that's VERY early days. It's been 8 years for me. By the time it's 8 years for you lets hope you have found someone new (and better) - think you are probably younger than me (most people are lol) but even people older than I am have found someone new - it's just that I can't be bothered (well that's my story anyway).

    Just cut your encounters with him down to the absolute minimum and just think of yourself and your boys - once the divorce is through you have a brand new life in front of you.
     
  4. Thank you for the reply - you sound like you've been through something similar to me !!

     
  5. Just hang in there. It is early days and it will go in time. You have to mourn the loss so it normal to have odd times when you are very miserable. Keep yourself busy and give yourself treats.It happened to me a long time ago and I cannot recall the events easily as it is forgotten. It is like it happened to someone else. I have seen friends devastated to the point that I feared for them big time. They have all recovered moved on and most important are very happy. I promise you that you will get over it.Yes it will go. Keep going. Smile when you don't feel like smiling. Go out when you don't feel like going out. Try to think of the good side. They are so many good reasons not to spend your life with someone you are not happy with.Good luck.
     
  6. sparkleghirl

    sparkleghirl Star commenter

    No marriage involved for me, but 18 months down the line and I can say that yes, it gets better.
    For the first 9 months or so, the occasional lows still felt at times like being punched in the stomach and wanting to throw up, it's just that they gradually got further apart and I got over each dip more quickly.
    And eventually I have found (touch wood) that while I still feel sad at times it no longer feels like heartbreak, the horrible physical pain has gone and the future looks much brighter.
    Hang on in there, it does get better.
     
  7. Just don't "go there". Everytime you feel yourself thinking about him do something to occupy your mind. It's only you that suffers. Yes it will get easier.
     
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    It's hard not to go there. It's been 3 years for me and our friendship is still solid. I have times when I ask myself - did we do the right thing? Then something happens and the reasons why we separated come back. It's like anything - you remember the good times and forget the bad ones. I've not had those feelings much recently - and time does heal (cliche alert). Separation has been made harder as we have a son so are working together to ensure he is bought up well. Seeing the other person does make it difficult as they are a reminder of a previous life - whereas many people without children who separate can move on and have no contact with the previous partner.

     

Share This Page