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Starting to get ratty about Christmas.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by ROSIEGIRL, Nov 17, 2019.


    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    I need a moan, to get it out of my system.
    Yet again it looks like I'm going to be doing Christmas dinner for the family. Probably for 13, age range 13 to 91. It's virtually unavoidable - too complicated to explain why. But I feel quite fed up about it and it's making me grumpy, so I'm hoping to get my moan over with on here and then I'll feel better.
    (And yes, this is a shamefully trivial and needy post - sorry!)
  2. Weald56

    Weald56 Established commenter

    Can I suggest delegation may be the way forward? If even a few of the others bring (or do) something, your task will be much reduced.
  3. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    I don't know what to suggest.
    But (almost) all of those 12 other people can help if you ask them.
  4. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    I'm free! I'll come and help you!!
  5. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Lara mfl 05 likes this.
  6. Marshall

    Marshall Star commenter

    Sorry - I'm not asking for sympathy so please don't think I am.

    How much can you get done in advance?

    Give everyone a job!
    needabreak, Lara mfl 05 and Jamvic like this.
  7. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Give yourself the job of supervisor and they can do the chores!

    I've just thought of a new game. It's like Secret Santa in that you draw a chit out of a hat.
    Except this time it's a job community responsibility.
  8. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Virtually unavoidable? That suggests some wiggle room. What are the other options?
    MissGeorgi and Lara mfl 05 like this.
  9. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    My xmas will be hard work this time too.
    Lara mfl 05 and Jamvic like this.
  10. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Sometimes this can be harder work than just cooking the whole meal yourself though. I can’t stand others milling around the kitchen when I’m trying to coordinate Christmas Dinner.
    Lelly64, Doitforfree and Marshall like this.
  11. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Very true. I think it depends on what Christmas Dinner is to the OP.
    If a job can be to buy and prepare the carrots, sprouts, potatoes and parsnips for a couple of people it would help but also has to be done in advance.
    Marshall, Lara mfl 05 and Jamvic like this.
  12. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Ooh yes, someone to do all the prep and then bu**er off out of my kitchen. Now I’d go for that.
  13. sunshineneeded

    sunshineneeded Star commenter

    @ROSIEGIRL, you have my sympathy. It's not going to be me this year, but it often is. I freely admit I make it a lot easier than I did years ago - I know it costs, but I don't make my own stuffing any more, or swede and carrot mash, and I don't make any puddings. M&S always have a fab range - I've even been known to buy the sprouts ready prepared. And their roast potato seasoning mix is foolproof.

    M&S are not paying me, honestly!
    Jamvic, Lara mfl 05 and TCSC47 like this.

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    Thank you! I know I'm lucky to have family around me and I do love them!

    It's not so much the cooking on the day that bugs me - more the responsibility and how that impacts in the run up to Christmas. And people do help and it always goes well and then I feel mean for being grumpy about it.

    There's really only one other person this year who could host it and they never have done. Everybody else is elderly and/or not well or away from home.

    I think the way I feel about it is very different from the way the others think I feel about it. I've been living in hopes for years that someone else would offer !

    Sorry for moaning - it's trivial stuff!
    Pageant, Jamvic, TCSC47 and 1 other person like this.
  15. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    Loved it... you vent away Rgirl!

    13 people? Respect to you... I have to cater for four... that's pain enough...
  16. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Ach. we're all different.

    I would love to be cooking for more than 5. Not sure I could manage 13, mind. I'd need to invest in a device to keep things warm.
    Jamvic likes this.
  17. TCSC47

    TCSC47 Star commenter

    I was going to suggest something like this as well. But I know it is still hard work all the same. Dates to be arranged to suit everybody, gluten free, vegetarian, space in the house, extra table, chairs and cutlery from somewhere, looking for decent value party crackers and hoping you don't get rubbish, Christmas decorations. Party games! Running in and out with cups of tea and drink on the day.

    And it is, at the very least, saddening if you have to ask the other members for their share of the work. I'm afraid I have to admit to quite a few pangs of guilt over Christmas. Mrs TCSC is always in charge of Christmas and hopefully we will have 19 family and maybe a few inlaws as well. I am a lot better than I used to be, but I do remember Mrs TCSC having strong words with me. One of the break throughs was the grandchildren coming along. Our own children took a big step forward discovering what was entailed with being a parent and how to actually use their own initiative to help.

    So looking forward to Christmas -- Umm-m, after getting through the f**king general election which Mrs TCSC is heavily involved with!

    Merry Christmas to one and All!

    Footnote -- More guilt! She is busy on the other computer with spreadsheets, telephone and organising whilst I **** about on my laptop waiting for the football to start on the tele! Guilt?---- massive!!
    Dragonlady30 and Jamvic like this.
  18. primarycat

    primarycat Star commenter

    Moan away! My mum wrangled a collection of grans, great grans, aunts, great aunts and great great aunts at Christmas for years. She never enjoyed it much. I do Christmas now but we are down to 5. It's not just the cooking- it's all the organising, shopping etc. I quite enjoy it but it's stressful at times even so.
    Jamvic likes this.
  19. Mangleworzle

    Mangleworzle Star commenter

    You're probably suffering from the assumption that because you always do it, you enjoy doing it. It's a very easy and comfortable assumption to hold, I wouldn't be surprised that some are feeling they are doing you a favour by turning up.

    You could let it be known after the meal this year that you won't be repeating the experience again next as it's always so much work and you'd like to be a guest for a change. They can't (reasonably) argue against that and there won't be any assumptions that it will all happen again next.

    Realistically it sounds like no-one is going to offer, so you need to do something to make it happen and the end of this years event seems the ideal time.
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2019
    nizebaby, monicabilongame and Jamvic like this.
  20. peakster

    peakster Star commenter

    You could burn everything - that might work.

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