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Starting off as a Maths Tutor - Suggestions needed.

Discussion in 'Private tutors' started by SparkMaths, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    I have not said anything about 'a bit of competition' and if you are happy for MFL tutors to proliferate in your manor then well and good but you are not reserving your advice for prospective MFL tutors but slopping it out to anyone happening along who thinks tutoring is easy but hasn't the wit to set themselves up. It's like taking a dump in the punch bowl.
     
  2. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    Aw Adam, it's nice to be liked. And I approve of this abbreviation of my username. Anyway, how about yourself, do you have too many students, too few, or goldilocks? PS loving the humour of your following post!
     
  3. SparkMaths

    SparkMaths New commenter

    Vince_Ulam I'm really interested and excited to find out what you think this forum is for!

    I'm getting a mental image of a Victorian teacher who only asks questions and admonishes students who don't already know everything :D
     
    langteacher likes this.
  4. gainly

    gainly Senior commenter


    How much longer are you going to keep us waiting to hear about your last two appalling students? I'm sure it's causing many sleepless nights.
     
  5. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    I'm in bed now, will write tomorrow. Id assumed people were put off by my droning on and I should give it a rest. NB there's a significant hiatus between the fourth and fifth
     
  6. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    Okay mods, please explain why you blanked out the name of one tutoring agency but not the other. The first one definitely has a right to call foul!
     
  7. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Here you go:

    upload_2018-9-19_9-7-5.png
     
  8. gainly

    gainly Senior commenter

    Add message | Report
    Moominmammacat Tue 17-Sep-13 10:21:29
    We used 6th formers ... £10 an hour and it did the trick. He did end up snogging one of them which seemed a bit of a cheek as we were paying for the privilege.


    A cautionary tale from mumsnet about using 6th formers. Maybe that's why he's so popular.
     
  9. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    If I were that mum I would have confronted him bluntly, in my daughter's presence, about whether he was "snogging" other girls he was tutoring. Any hint of that would have immediately led us to suspect he was doing the tutoring out of motives of exploitation. As it is, if it was just the one girl, you always have to allow for the possibility of a genuine (if rather inappropriately expressed) relationship developing. Did this mumsnetter say what her daughter thought about it? Did she think of it as "privilege" on his part, or as much so on her own?

    Basically, the mum was paying for tuition, and that's that. But whenever men and women meet, particularly young single ones, there's always the theoretical possibility that romance will emerge. It's got nothing to do with whether any money or goods are changing hands or if so from which party to which. (In this case it's a fair exchange).

    The other thing I wondered about, though, is: where did they meet? I assume the 6th former isn't driving so it would have to be at his home?

    Bottom line, though: the above cases violates the principle that a tutor should have completed an educational tier at least one level higher than the one they're tutoring; the 6th former obviously hadn't yet got his A level, although maybe he could produce good AS results or something back in the day?
     
  10. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    No. This was completely inappropriate.
     
  11. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    Just for the record, please explain why. Let's say he was 18 and she 16.
     
  12. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    As a student teacher, do you think it is appropriate for teachers or tutors to have adult relationships with their pupils?
     
  13. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    I'm not a "student teacher" unless you mean tutor of students. But it's not about what I subjectively think. The relationship would be legal. AFAIK, this is not a case of "abuse of authority" as it might be with employer/employee (if anything here it's the boy who's in the employee position). The two young people are of similar age/school stage (if anything, it's that very closeness which to me raises questions about the suitability of him tutoring her when he's only two years ahead academically).

    No one would bat an eyelid about a boy of 18 dating a girl of 16, in general circumstances. Why does the fact he helps her with her homework make it unacceptable?
     
  14. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Then you should change your profile:

    upload_2018-9-19_10-1-6.png


    If you are teaching or tutoring children then yes, it is.

    Yes, it is.

    Do you think it is appropriate for teachers or tutors to have adult relationships with their pupils?
     
  15. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    (1) Point noted about the profile - didn't see that - but then, what exactly is a "student teacher"? I'm not a schoolteacher at all.

    (2) No, how can it be a subjective matter? The same rules/standards/code of conduct should apply to all, under whatever applicable legal requirements are in force. Can you link to anything relevant?

    (3) Why is it? Has the lad told the girl, "I refuse to tutor you unless I can snog you"? You might as well ask whether she's told him "I refuse to have my mum pay you unless I can snog you". You do realise they're both attracted to each other, don't you? He'd never have succeeded in getting 'fresh' with her in the first place unless she were leading him on in some way.

    Moreover, the mum can dismiss him as a tutor at any time. As we never cease to remind ourselves, everyone and his dog is out there offering tuition. He has no "leverage" in this direction whatsoever. He has no tool with which to abuse or exploit any student. The one big question I'd have as a mum is whether he's doing this with other girl students, in which case for sure I'd show him the door.
     
  16. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Presumably you had an idea on this when you entered it into your profile.

    Someone who thinks that way might find themselves in trouble.
     
  17. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    Vince, I really didn't think it was up to each tutor individually to decide for themselves what's right or wrong. Shouldn't we all play by the same rules?

    Anyway this discussion is itself "inappropriate" in this thread and deserves its own. Let's stop it here; if you want to discuss further, please open a new thread for it or 'bump' an existing one. I don't recall seeing any such before, but if you know of any, please let me know and I'd be glad to benefit from the collective wisdom recorded there.

    One other thing about the mum in this situation - given that I was paying £10 per hour for the boy to be alone with the girl, obviously I'd want value for money and to know that it was spent studying not snogging! And as I'll say yet again, frankly I think she was unwise to get someone so young in the first place, hardly any school year difference between 'tutor' and student. Plus frankly, she might easily have at least allowed for the possibility that providing so much time alone together, this sort of result might ensue.
     
  18. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Then you agree that this sixth former was wrong to engage in sexual behaviour with their tutee?
     
  19. Bashkemesuesi

    Bashkemesuesi New commenter

    "Sexual behaviour"? I suppose they were kissing? We don't quite know enough about the case, wish Gainly could come back on this but maybe he doesn't either. A paid session should be for the purpose it's paid for, i.e. no extended small talk either, it's got to be academic. What these two get up to outside that, in their own time so to speak, is a matter for ethics in general. During the formal session itself, such things are inappropriate on the part of BOTH, I repeat BOTH participants. Please don't lean towards treating a legal-marriage-age female as an egregious "victim" in this situation.

    I hope the other mumsnetters rounded on this one for being so silly as not to foresee that this result was always possible, even likely, all for the sake of penny-pinching £5-10 an hour.
     
  20. Vince_Ulam

    Vince_Ulam Star commenter

    Do you agree that this sixth former was wrong to 'snog' their tutee?
     

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