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Sports Day

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by Piscean1, Jun 20, 2019.

  1. Piscean1

    Piscean1 Senior commenter

    I'm looking for advice. I'm 8 months pregnant.

    A few weeks ago the deputy said she didn't think sports day was a good idea for me. This week, the PE lead has come and said that I will have to do it so she has enough adults. I explained that if I were to be there, I would be late due to a hospital appointment. She sighed and said, fine, just come when you're done as though my pregnancy was some major inconvenience.

    I wasn't very happy with this for a few reasons. I wouldn't be bothered if sports day was at school. However, we do ours at local sports venue. It involves a 15 minute walk there and back and I have very sore hips at this stage.

    The job she has given me also means I will be standing for a few hours with nowhere other than the floor to sit. It is also quite far away from the toilets and I will not be able to go when I need it.

    I discussed all this with my Head teacher and said I was concerned about it. I asked if I could either be excused and cover a remaining class in school or if I could drive to sports day and do a different job there. The head said that because of my hospital appointment and not knowing when I might arrive, they shouldn't rely on me and it would be best that I didn't do sports day. (You'll note: not because of concerns for my health or wellbeing. That has been a theme this pregnancy).

    I assumed all was sorted. The final details have been sent out and I am still on the list in the same role. The only difference is that she has added "to attend after appointment" so it's definitely not an oversight. I'm really peed off.

    I haven't said anything yet as I'm too angry and it won't come across right. How do I deal with this? Am I actually being unreasonable? Can I phone in sick or will I get into trouble? Can I just point blank refuse to do it? What are my options?

    I am going to discuss it with my midwife but I know the outcome will be to be signed off which is ludicrous over a sports day.

    There have been 2 serious incidents with work (one where the loss of the baby was a very real risk but they still continued to expose me to that risk knowingly). I know that my midwife has had enough and this issue will be the final straw.

    I could speak to the deputy (who sometimes feels like the only supportive person on SLT) but I worry that it puts her in a difficult position.

    What do I do?
  2. SammyBear2016

    SammyBear2016 Occasional commenter

    Do you have an up to date risk assessment? If so does it cover standing for long periods, walking, not being to access the toilet if needed? If not i would get an up to date one and include anything, no matter how small, that you think should be on there. An alternative is that you could email this member of staff and CC the head teacher in detailing the discussion you had with the head teacher and their confirmation that it would be best if you did not do sports day.
  3. Piscean1

    Piscean1 Senior commenter

    Thanks. They did my pregnancy risk assessment at 16 weeks. It hasn't been looked at since or even adhered to in any case. It seems very much like a tick box exercise.

    The PG risk assessment raised a need for a stress risk assessment... Which still hasn't happened despite several reminders and the specialist midwife at the hospital asking for it to be done urgently when I was 24 weeks. It's pointless them bothering now as I go off in 16 days.

    The Head has emailed saying the plans look great for sports day. I need to have another conversation tomorrow as I spoke to my midwife today and she has completely vetoed it and offered a sick note if I am not removed from sports day. She knows the stadium well apparently and she said the set-up is entirely unsuitable for a heavily pregnant woman. Should I email this so it's in writing? I feel like that might be an escalation if I do.
  4. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    I guess that decision has been made by now, but I hope you have managed to have a successful conversation today and that they have seen sense. The last thing they need at sports day is someone going into premature labour, so if they really can't cover everything without you then they need to get some supply in - or swap you with someone who was to have remained in school.
    Do not do the sports day if your midwife has told you not to.
    Piscean1 likes this.
  5. Piscean1

    Piscean1 Senior commenter

    Update: They have covered me (twice over by accident actually). However, despite this, things are still unclear. Head was out today so haven't been able to speak to her.

    PE lead seems to still expect me to do it but I don't really see that I have to follow her orders when we're equals in the structure so I will go over her head. She's managed to get 2 people in my place so hopefully she'll decide not to look a gift horse in the mouth and accept that I won't be there!

    I spoke to the deputy in head's absence and she suggested that my hospital appointment may well happen to "overrun". She recommended that I message to say things are running very late and I will not make it in time to be of any use. I'm not sure I have the balls for this but we'll see. In fairness, I was there for nearly 2 hours last time so it's not impossible to think I could be again.

    Hopefully the hospital appointment will actually overrun but I will speak to the head on Monday if she's in to reiterate my concerns and relay my midwife's instructions. If I'm still expected to do it at that point without any adjustments to my responsibilities, then I think I will feel so unsupported (in the context of other things which have happened during my pregnancy) that I will just accept the sick note I keep being offered and start my leave early. It would be a shame to miss all the fun things with my class and not to say bye properly but I just don't have the energy for things which should be absolute non-issues to be turned into problems.

    Here's hoping it gets resolved quickly on Monday so I can stop worrying about it!
  6. SammyBear2016

    SammyBear2016 Occasional commenter

    I really hope you have been able to talk to your head today and have resolved this issue. If they have two additional people then it does not make any sense for them to still require you to be there. I would be careful about your midwife signing you off sick because if you are in the last four weeks of your pregnancy this will trigger your maternity leave to start.
  7. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    It sounds like they've got enough cover in now - and perhaps the sensible thing on the day would be for you to head back to school after your appointment and use the time for handover preparation, perhaps going to the last half hour of sports day to say well done to your class.
    I think the response to the PE lead is just "Mrs Bloggs is covering me that day" - and you assume that Mrs Bloggs does whatever you were down for.
  8. Piscean1

    Piscean1 Senior commenter

    Thank you. I feel like I've been persona non grata since saying I couldn't do it. Today the PE lead has ignored me when I've said hello, ignored me during a meeting (deliberately didn't give me any of the papers she gave to other people) and walked into a room, spoke to everybody by name and absolutely blanked me so it's obviously a problem for her.

    To be honest, I'm now sat crying because it seems petty and ridiculous. There's no point me complaining about it or trying to tackle it because I will be seen as making a further fuss and she will just deny her attitude or blame it on me being pregnant and hormonal. Roll on maternity leave.
  9. SammyBear2016

    SammyBear2016 Occasional commenter

    I know it is easier said than done, but please don't get upset over this. If she wants to be petty and childish because she doesn't like the fact that you are putting yourself and your baby first then let her. Enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy before little one arrives.
  10. Piscean1

    Piscean1 Senior commenter

    Well, sports day sorted itself in the end. The hospital kept me in all morning for monitoring. All okay but definitely time to start taking it easier!

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