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Discussion in 'Parenting' started by hhhh, Jan 23, 2012.

  1. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    From another forum, apparently a former colleague'sso desperate to have a baby of the 'right' sex, she's going to America for gender selection. Personally don't agree with this, but then it's not my business. Sparked a discussion, would anyone? And on old wives tales about gender selection, one actually adamant that female orgasmsresult in more male births (shouldn't that mean that pre 1950 most babies were girls?). Anyone believe in any? Or got any funny myths?
    and my boy wears pink and wants dresses, and my girl only plays with cars, so hey I can't judge!
  2. I was told that to get a boy you should have more sugar and fat in your diet than if you want a girl, but I eat tons of chocolate and still got 2 girls so probably not true. I have also been told that if you want a girl you need to have sex before you ovulate as girl sperm last longer than boy sperm, but if you want a boy then you should have sex as you are ovulating because boy sperm are quicker than girl sperm. Not sure I believe that either.
    I personally wouldn't do anything to try and influence what sex my babies are, but dp was adament that he only wanted girls, so maybe it's a good thing we've got 2 of them. He said if it was a boy it was going back[​IMG]
  3. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    I personally wouldn't want to choose the gender of my children. I have a boy and a girl, but when i was pregnant with my daughter I'd have been just as happy to have had another boy.
    I don't think I did anything differently when i TTC my daughter to when I TTC my son, although my husband reckons I had a boy first time because I was eating cereal and banana for breakfast! With my daughter i'd been eating egg for breakfast as I was losing weight and wanted more protein.
    My daughter plays with cars and Duplo and has no 'girly' toys as such!
  4. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    Although there's that youtube clip of the gender neutral child...
  5. Paradoxicalgirly

    Paradoxicalgirly New commenter

    Whatever child you're blessed with is the right gender.
    I've read that if you dtd prior to oving and get pregnant, it'll be a boy, whereas if you dtd after oving and get pregnant then it'll be a girl. Which certainly corresponds with what happened to us!
  6. jubileebabe

    jubileebabe New commenter

    It is true that female sperm swim slower but last longer than male sperm so you can increase the odds of influencing the sex of the child by bearing that in mind but it certainly isn't a very reliable method!
    The natural ph level inside a woman's body can also make an environment more favourable to one type of sperm or another.
    Did anyone see the documentary on Channel 4 (was more than a year ago now) where couples were undergoing PGD to conceive girls? One woman with four sons said the "pain" of not having a daughter was the same as that of a woman who couldn't have children. Shocking.
  7. Very glad I didn't see that - would have set me into a tailspin for weeks to be honest. Then again, I've never understood this whole desperately wanting a girl to be a mini-me (poor thing if they end up being a mini ME) thing - if I'm honest, I'd have been more confident dealing with a little boy (I can do willies, worms and football... barbies, pink plastic and teenage angst I'm not as sure about) - but that's to do with a whole lot of emotional baggage surrounding some very fraught mother-daugher relationships within my family and knowing now this one's probably a girl - I'm happy with that... but to be honest I'd have been sobbing with relief for a full set of bodily parts and a heartbeat of any variety at the 20 week scan (and was)!
  8. I don't agree with it. I can understand to a degree of wanting for example a girl if you already have a boy but I certainly wouldn't go to those lengths to get one!
    I'd love a little girl but if my next one is a boy I'd be just as delighted. As long as they were happy and healthy it doesn't matter.
    On another note it makes me so cross when you see on facebook or what not people going for 20 week scan and saying 'Off to fine out if baby is a boy or girl'. That isn't the purpose of the scan you know! Grr.
    Glitterkid, I can't believe you are almost ready to have your next one! Ours are only a month apart and I can not even fathom having another yet! I salute you, hope it all goes well xx
  9. I actually get quite annoyed with the number of people who've given me flack for asking at the scan (was after all was confirmed ok, when she was trying to measure leg length etc and poking around that general area that I asked "just out of curiosity, I know it's not what we're all here for, but can you see what's between its legs"). I had reasons I wanted to know - ranging from the hideously practical - someone had offered me a load of hand-me-down girls clothes, someone else had offered me a load of hand-me-down boys clothes... to emotional ones people probably don't fully understand - the hardest bit I've had dealing with the miscarriages was not knowing if it was a boy or a girl that was lost, I wanted to at least be able to dignify this one with a gender if the worst happened... yet I've had do-gooder after do-gooder feign moral outrage that I dared to "ruin the surprise" - when it was none of their business really! My cousin (who likes to ride the I'm a perfect mummy bow down before my uterus train for all its worth anyway) really really laid into me... but she also told me I was a lousy mum-to-be for not sitting there on a night reading Jackie Collins and Twilight to my bump as well (I consider NOT doing that to be an act of compassion)!
    And the last thing I was thinking going into that scan was "oooh boy or girl" - I'd spent about a good fortnight working myself into a frenzy about birth defects, about not seeing a heartbeat etc etc... focusing on the possibility I might find out whether it was a boy or a girl was about the only thing that kept me sane with the worrying!
  10. jubileebabe

    jubileebabe New commenter

    I know what you mean. I was in the middle of an IVF cycle when I saw it! (For infertility, not for choosing the sex!)
  11. But Mr Fibble some people do just think that the purpose of a 20 week scan is to find out the gender, but that said maybe that level of innocence saves a lot of stress. They couldnt tell me this time at scan so got 'surprise' at birth! I like to find out, not because I minded either way but personally would have preferred to know. I agree with paradoxical girly, although I heard it was the other way round.....
  12. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    This probably isn't true, but I once read that some areas stopped telling the gender at the scan because people were having abortions if it was the 'wrong' sex. And also that certain, erm'ways' of doing it led more to a particular sex. Oh the old wives tales of parenting...
  13. jubileebabe

    jubileebabe New commenter

    It is true that some areas stopped telling the sex at the scan but I don't know if any hospitals still do it. Most of the hospitals that had that policy would tell you the sex in a private scan anyway so it was a bit like saying "we can't tell you the sex unless you pay us."
    As for certain positions influencing the sex of the baby, that is based on male sperm swimming faster but dying quicker and female sperm swimming more slowly but living longer. There is at least some truth to that. Positions favouring deeper penetration are said to tip the scales in favour of conceiving a boy.
  14. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    So it really is true that first half of month more likely to be girl and vice versa? And apparently there's now a test for gender very early in pregnancy. Going with the point above about not telling parents the sex as they were aborting them...ok I try not to judge but should soeone who would abort the 'wrong' sex be allowed a child anyway?
  15. Chica77

    Chica77 New commenter

    Not for me! I conceived my son in the first week after stopping the pill, and my daughter was conceived at the end of my cycle as my husband I were apart at the start of it (Summer hols, i was staying with my parents without him for the first half!). So the opposite is true for me!
  16. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    I was convinced my daughter was a girl when I was pregnant, and she was- we found out at the 20 week scan. I can't really see myself as a mother of boys for some reason- but when we have our next baby I'll be thrilled to have a healthy baby of any gender, of course. I think it's natural to have a preference but to spend £15,000 to act on that preference is a bit strange IMO!
  17. I know when my brother was born (there's a fair age gap between us so I was at the scan and old enough to remember it) - the hospital there had a point blank not telling the gender policy (from forums I think they still do actually - they've definitely got one of the tightest sets of rules around regarding who can/can't come to your scan and what they'll tell you etc).
    We were going to pay for a gender scan around 16 weeks but I never got round to booking it - just thought it would have been nice to tell the families on Xmas Day, but in the end just waited to 20 weeks and asked after all the abnormality checks had been done.
  18. Just to clarify about my comment before. I'm not saying that you shouldn't find out at all, in fact I think I might do with my next one. It just makes me cross when people think the reason for that scan is to find out the gender when it isn't. It's a nice perk if you want to know.
  19. I can remember with both of mine being more worried about the possible abnormalities at the 20 week scan than the gender, but I did find out with both; with my first it was to partly take my mind off the cyst they found on her brain (which resolved itself by the next scan thankfully), and with my second it was to get my head around what I would be having, and to see if I could start offloading all the girls' clothes in the loft! I really wanted two girls, and it did take a little while to adjust to the idea of a boy (which I didn't want to be doing AFTER he was born), but like previous posters have said, I would not change things at all. Certainly wouldn't spend money on determining gender! Very happy with my two little tribe members...

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