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Son starting year 7 at my school

Discussion in 'Secondary' started by bessicates100, Aug 31, 2019.

  1. bessicates100

    bessicates100 New commenter

    Just looking for some tips from parents who have been in this position really. How should I manage being a staff parent?
    We’ve decided that my husband will be the main contact - but any other helpful tips?
    Also do you allow their peers in your home / sleepovers etc?
    He currently knows none of his peers as our school catchment covers the whole city, so few students know many people when they start.
  2. Skeoch

    Skeoch Lead commenter

    Boarding school experience here so even more complex. Parents want to have a "How was your day at work" conversation, child needs to chat about school. One family had a house rule that discussion of school was open in the kitchen, but that anything said there could not be repeated anywhere else. Shades of"what goes on tour stays on tour"
    Many parent colleagues would excuse themselves from meetings when their children were discussed. A few went to extreme lengths to avoid getting early news (e.g. of exam results or reports).
    I only recall one problem which was linked to serious disciplinary issues with a child and overprotective teacher parent.
    bessicates100 likes this.
  3. bessicates100

    bessicates100 New commenter

    I've already started to tone down my "guess what happened at school today" conversations at the dinner table, but it's one I still need to work on a bit.
    I know I'll be tempted to see how he's doing ahead of parents' evenings - but I don't think I'll be 'that teacher parent' who tries to get their kids out of detentions.
  4. phlogiston

    phlogiston Star commenter

    You think you'll find out how things are going at parents' evenings?

    My daughter only came to see me when she needed money for refreshments on the walk home (and once during an OFSTED).
    Make sure you don't get his class to teach. You may have to do the odd cover.
    I was lucky that my daughter didn't need to do detentions.
    Mrs P did most of the parents' evenings.
    For a while the school did "target-setting days" (aka BS days) during the working day. The secretarial staff worked hard to ensure that I could see daughter's tutor -except he was running so far behind schedule I had to go back to my own group. Mrs P went to stir the manure.
    If your son is well behaved it will probably work well. If your son has behaviour problems one of you may need to move.
  5. meggyd

    meggyd Lead commenter

    I was that teacher/parent. Never teach them. Be prepared to be ignored at school. Get your other half to communicate. And don't let colleagues talk to you about your kids in staff room. I was one of a number of staff parents. My kids are now grown up and would probably say it was ok. But they would also say that the child needs to develop a thick skin. Kids can be cruel.
  6. frustum

    frustum Star commenter

    Most secondaries are quite good at avoiding you having to teach your own child, unless you're the sole teacher of a subject. The one I attended put all the teachers' kids in the same class in year 7, and I think they avoided giving those covers to their parents.
    One colleague did ask to teach her son - on the grounds that she would need to teach at least one class in his year, so she would rather it was the top set where it was unlikely that she would have to be giving out detentions to his classmates. It worked for them but most colleagues avoided their kids.
  7. shake_ya_thang

    shake_ya_thang New commenter

    My daughter has just started in Year 7 and I'm already getting worried! I'm a single parent and her dad lives 400 miles away, so I'm going to be the one to deal with the day to day stuff and parents' evenings. Luckily, she is incredibly well behaved so I don't think I'll have that many problems...
  8. jarndyce

    jarndyce Occasional commenter

    In my experience, it was the teacher parents who always wanted to talk to you about their own kids! Some of them were very professional, and never did unless they had emailed first. Interestingly, the SLT were actually the best in this regard.

    For others, I sometimes felt like asking them bluntly either to email me or contact the office to book an appointment like any other parent.
  9. Jonntyboy

    Jonntyboy Established commenter

    I think you could turn it into a problem by worrying about it and unless something very serious, or someone's attitude about it is wrong, I doubt you will have problems. Just act as normal.
    I haven't taught my kids, but my mother taught me at primary occasionally, with no real issues. I was once in some significant trouble with another teacher, but it was not mentioned at school either to or by Mum, though I was in hot water at home.
    Some of my secondary school classmates had parents teach them, again no issues. All I noticed was that they were especially, especially well-behaved when Dad was teaching.
    I have taught the children of colleagues many times, and again, I have had no problems with that. Occasionally it's made it easier to comment informally about a particular minor issue, usually positive or at least not negative, as you can drop into a colleague's room rather than emailing to fix an appointment.
  10. meggyd

    meggyd Lead commenter

    It can also work positively for you. There was a very naughty boy who quite liked my daughter. He was an angel for me in class! (A guest of Her Majesty now I believe.)

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