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Socialising with parents

Discussion in 'Personal' started by tartetatin, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    On the one hand, I think she must be a bit barking!
    On the other, I sort of admire her bravery, initiative and 'get up and go'.
    As for going on holiday with a pupil's aunt, so what? She must surely consider the woman a friend.
  2. tartetatin

    tartetatin New commenter

    I should add that at my girls' school, teachers have to attend the parents' Christmas night out! It's pretty much a school tradition there.
    Pros: it's a classy affair, the teachers are paid for, the parents are generally very pleasant, the teachers are presented with a nice gift.
    Cons: it's socialising with parents!!
    How would you tessers feel about this?

  3. I lived in my catchment area (a council flat on a reasonable estate in S Wales) when I started teaching. I lived in my catchment area for the final 3 decades of my career. Not socialising was not an option!
    And with four children of my own, knowing the kids who I taught on a personal basis was also par for the course. Add in the "normal" involvement of scouts/guides/swiming/football/athletics clubs and I think you would have to call me a "human being".
    PS I also socialised with my doctor, accountant and solicitor. Several of the nurses are ex-pupils. But we all maintain a professional approach to our work - no favours asked nor given.
  4. marymoocow

    marymoocow Star commenter

    I think it depends where you live and work. I worked in a very leafy school where parents were teachers, solicitors, doctors etc. I did make friends with 2 parents who were also teachers. However I didnt start socialising until the child had moved classes. There were also 2 other teachers who were friends with them at my school.
    Also at my own childrens primary I am friends with 2 of their teachers. Again we didnt socialise until they had left their class. I would feel a bit awkard at parents evening if I had to talk about their child if I was good friends with them, hence the distance whilst teaching their kids. I also am still careful and dont assume all teacher parents are trustworthy as one shafted me in the past, but I think you slowly like any friendship suss out if you have anything in common and have similar views. I did turn down the opportunity to work at my village school though, as by then I had developed a good social circle and I didnt want it to spoil friendships, especially with one friend whose son was a little sh*t. I also wanted to feel that I could go down to my local and get a bit merry if I wanted without parents seeing me. One of the teachers does live in the village and has made one or two unwise friendships and they have gossiped about things she thought they would keep to themselves.
    Funnily enough since moving to my present school in a deprived area, I havent felt the pull to befriend my parents, I'm not really into drunken wife swapping Jeremy Kyle style nor do I think smoking weed is normal. Some of our TAs started as parents at the school and although I can have a good laugh with them at school and at the christmas do, even they can have worrying ideas of professionalism and confidentiality, so I tend to be wary around them too.
  5. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    It's difficult to avoid if you live in the same community/catchment area - even more so if you grew up there. I taught most of our local friends' kids at some point or other. However I wouldn't go out of my way to socialise with parents whom I didn't already know before their kids had started at my school.
  6. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Would you "break friends" if one of your friend's children was placed in your class?
  7. anteater

    anteater New commenter

    My best friend's child was in my GCSE class. Ok, it was difficult, as said child did not co-operate over coursework and I had to make home contact several times. But I did it with my "teacher hat" on and we continued socialising throughout.
  8. magic surf bus

    magic surf bus Star commenter

    I didn't. My friends were my friends before their children started at my school, remained so during the five years of their children's high schooling, and are still my friends now. Teaching is only a job - it's bad enough giving up most of our lives for it without having to give up our friends for it as well. When the stress of teaching drives you into hospital it's your friends who'll be visiting ;-)
  9. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    .....and,possibly,an expupil bringing you a bed pan! [​IMG]
  10. I personally would avoid it. I changed schools in time for children of parents that I had known socially who were due to be in my year group. I just prefer to keep it completely separate. I am on Facebook but am not "friends" with any of my new colleagues because they are friends with LSAs at the school who in turn are "friends" with some parents.
  11. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    My mother socialised with my teachers but then she was one of my teachers so they were here work colleagues.
    I wouldn't go out of my way to socialise with parents but there are situations where they are part of your social group anyway. I don't see a problem with that as long as the normal rules of professionalism are observed.
  12. Oh yes, quite a few! It's really difficult living in the catchment area and also belonging to several 'groups' such as orchestra, choir, church, Guides without participating in some social activities with parents of children I teach. That said, I've been lucky enough that those parents have never asked about their child's progress, and my job isn't really discussed beyond a superficial ' how are things' level. Having a few drinks however - now if I was a bit more of a party animal than I am now, I'd think twice about that. I don't like losing control and do feel that I would undermine my position if I were to go out and get plastered with a bunch of parents, friends or not. The place I live in is too small - I wouldn't want to embarrass myself through over indulging!

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