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Social Media/Stress issues

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Alexalex94, Dec 12, 2019.

  1. Alexalex94

    Alexalex94 New commenter


    A student at the school has found me on Facebook, taken a picture of mine and distributed it on Snapchat with some vile captions.

    It has also come to my attention that a picture of my sister has also being circulated with other comments targeting her.

    My profile is and always has been uber private and has been checked multiple times and can be backed up by my friends.

    SLT have told me that this has happened but I still am feeling very upset, angry and stressed that this has happened to me. I’ve been made to feel that it’s my fault that this has happened, even though I’ve done everything to stop this through privacy settings. I do not have confidence that this will be investigated by the school and thus, the blame will still be on me.

    I do not want to be in school at the moment and have been extremely anxious about being in the environment which is causing my mental health to become quite profound again. I have been struggling to sleep for about two weeks since this has happened. I cannot focus on work, my family and am neglecting my own health, house and friends to try and get better.

    My two questions:

    1) have I done anything wrong and am I to blame?

    2) how do I approach SLT/Ny doctor about my stress?
  2. HelenREMfan

    HelenREMfan Star commenter

    If a student at your school has "found " you then you cannot have been as private as you think !! The general advice has been for a long time.... if teaching do not go on social media. You have no control over what your friends share or who their friends are etc etc.
    I suggest you keep away from Snapchat and that you get your sister to contact Snapchat?FB whatever and get pirated stuff taken off - preferably with the person sharing it penalised/banned or whatever.

    As for school - you are a professional. Go in and do your job. Part of your job is to maintain a professional demeanour so no show of upset etc.
    You should think yourself lucky that the ubiquitous 'rate my teacher' seems to have died a death as that gave anyone the bandwagon to say whatever they liked about any teacher. The answer then, the same as now, ignore it and do your job. Storm in teacup and forgotten in a week tops - if you let it be so.
  3. rooney1

    rooney1 Occasional commenter

    What happens if a school has a facebook page and posts pictures of you with a group of children e.g. a TA / teacher on a trip - and you didn't want your picture visible but were not asked.
  4. Alexalex94

    Alexalex94 New commenter

    So I’m not allowed to have social media? The picture is a picture of me and my sister. I do not use snapchat, and have very little on Facebook. My name is not anything to do with my teaching, even have a different first name and surname, and have it set so only my profile picture is seen.
    Miss_Haversham and meggyd like this.
  5. Lalex123

    Lalex123 Established commenter

    It is ridiculous in this day and age that teachers are expected to stay off social media and are blamed if students find them. It is unacceptable to expect your staff to not use this platform as a way to communicate with friends and family: why should teachers allow their job to affect their personal lives to this extent?!

    if you are private and no one can see your posts, that should be enough. If you were undiscoverable then how would you connect with new people and lost friends?

    The school should be disciplining those students. My face is plastered all over the school website, the school twitter and on videos promoting the school. Should I ask the school to take down all photos and videos of me ‘just in case’? No! If someone defiles those images, they should be punished for their actions!

    if children are bullied via social media, do we tell them to delete the app? No! We sanction the bully!
  6. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

    Good advice above. Go in,, do your job BUT demand the school take action, and if they don't, consider reporting the pupils to the police.
  7. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Sorry-long post
    Facebook is not and never has been private.
    It has Privacy Settings.
    The two are not the same.
    They updated the Privacy Settings about four or five years ago, as many many people had similar complaints to yours-what they did was they made the explanation and functionality of the settings easier to find in your account.
    That is all.
    They have never and did never make the thing private.
    It is possible to have all settings as tight as possible in your user preferences but it remains true that you can still access pictures in such accounts in three ways-
    from Google searches which reveal images via the hit page-you then click on that image and "open image in new tab".
    Also, if you are tagged in another account it makes your pictures freely available to anyone who can see that account.
    Also it is extremely possible that you photos were captured, pilfered, borrowed, cross referenced by other sites or people in the period before your privacy settings were made as tight as they are, if that pertains. Even if you had your account running for a week not knowing about the settings, you still renounced ownership and control of the images,

    How can you not know this?
    Of course it is your fault.

    If SLT have highlighted the sharing of your images, and in your words are "blaming you" for what has happened, it can only be because those images were inappropriate. They would not bring a matter like this to your attention, surely, if they were photos of you sitting reading at a desk, or walking in a flowery field. So I'm guessing you were partying, posing, pouting or flaunting something.
    Go and see your managers and ask them if there is an ongoing problem, ask them if there is some sort of trouble ahead, and if they dismiss you, good. If they say nothing, contact your union. And if they say "yes" then contact your union quicker.
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
    MissGeorgi likes this.
  8. Bond231

    Bond231 New commenter

    That is quite possibly the most unhelpful post I have ever seen on this forum, skbrobson.

    Teachers - like all adults have a life outside of work. Yes we must be professional but it doesn't mean we have to live like hermits. We can enjoy social media like the rest of society.

    You have done nothing wrong, the student should face repercussions for sharing an image without consent.
    I understand it is upsetting but the best thing to do it try and move forward and forget about it.
  9. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    Opps, I just read my last post, one part is unfortunately ambiguous
    I should add, when I said "dismiss you" I did not mean get rid of you from post, I meant of course "respond in a dismissive manner",
    agathamorse and Dorsetdreams like this.
  10. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    I'm sorry if you don't find it useful.
    However I have outlined the ways in which the images may have been acquired, which OP seems not to know about, and I have given proactive advice for OP based on my knowledge and experience of how management can view such issues.
    My point is how this occurred and how it is perceived by others, both very relevant points. So hopefully useful ergo helpful to OP at least, if not to you. The fact is that if the photos originated from a Facebook account, then any sharing of the photos within the school community will probably be viewed as the responsibility of the Facebook account holder. That doesn't mean that the students should not be sanctioned for sharing them, perhaps they should. But OP was contesting something else, the fact that it is presented as her fault. It is.

    There is on the other hand nothing in my post about how this ought to be or how it might feel, because that is not mine to say or know, and not really relevant to the fix they are in.
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
  11. Doitforfree

    Doitforfree Star commenter

    As an expert photoshopper I know how easy it is to alter images. I'm not on Facebook but I'm sure that other people have put my photos all over their pages, and no doubt tagged me in them too, because on the odd occasion when I've stumbled across them that is what they've done, even when I've asked them not to. Some people are so in love with social media that their common sense just flies out off the window Anyone could acquire those pictures and do what they liked with them and it most certainly would not be my fault! So I don't see that you can be criticised because someone has obtained am image of you and used it in an unacceptable way. I'd expect the pupils in question to be sanctioned. But I'd also stay off social media for my own protection, if I were you. It isn't fair, but it's the only way you can be sure it's not your 'fault' if someone misuses an image.
  12. meggyd

    meggyd Lead commenter

    So a teacher who plays a role in local life.....maybe at church or in park run or in a local charity group....is responsible for ensuring that snaps taken by those organisations do not feature them so that some little **** can manipulate them?
    Miss_Haversham and agathamorse like this.
  13. Alexalex94

    Alexalex94 New commenter

    Thank you for assuming. The picture was of me and my sister on Christmas Day with our dogs. How can this be inappropriate?

    The picture was taken and a caption put on that is insulting and made a threat against me.
  14. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    And no.
    It's not just teachers.
    It's the same if you work for the police, for the law, in politics, in the public eye generally, and, after my experience this morning, the Post Office.
    In fact, heck, it's the same for everybody-if you are going to be photographed at all it makes sense to consider the digital route that photo may then feasibly take.

    And it's not just school kids who manipulate and circulate pictures. It is also ex partners, business rivals, detectives, trolls, jealous neighbours, religious factions.

    This is a reality-digital photography can be manipulated and used by those about whom we have no idea. Avoiding being photographed is not an unreasonable or unrealistic strategy,m although I suppose if it is by close family and friends you could make some assumptions.
  15. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

    If a threat is made, then it is probably a police matter.

    Report this to your local police force.
    Miss_Haversham likes this.
  16. abuzzybee0

    abuzzybee0 New commenter

    A right to privacy is explicitly stated under Article 12 of the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights: No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honor and reputation.
  17. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    And thank you for clarifying.

    If a picture circulating of you has a threatening message on it then I don't think it is the same as a threat in itself, although it's the sort of thing that might be actioned if it was part of a accumulative attempt to threaten you.
    Your problem is trying to get your managers to sanction the people who did it, which would help you feel better about this situation, but then also leave the perpetrators feeling they'd like to continue with more underhand circulation of stuff. That is the key word here-it is underhand.
    People who you value and who look after your interests are not going to be swayed by circulating defaced pictures of you, so turn your attention to something more benign and, as others have said, it will be forgotten.
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
  18. meggyd

    meggyd Lead commenter

    Why are teachers expected to intervene with online bullying amongst pupils which takes place outside the classroom and yet pupils who bully teachers get away with it? If a member of staff were to post something about a kid or another colleague though.... Your logic is ridiculous. The same rules should apply to everyone in a school community.
  19. thebookyouwish

    thebookyouwish New commenter

    Agree with this advice.

    It is a really horrible thing to have happened and you must feel really stressed by it.

    The word 'wellbeing' is one of the words of the moment in schools - well what are your employers doing for yours? Informing you it has happened and then leaving you to deal with that knowledge.

    Approach your GP if things feel out of balance and see what they say.

    Make the most of the break coming up to rest and process. Time will help this situation but boundaries still need to be asserted.
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
    Miss_Haversham and agathamorse like this.
  20. Morninglover

    Morninglover Star commenter

    It could well be a serious threat.

    For example, if someone posted a picture of me, with the comment 'kill redheads' or 'redheads are scum - hurt them' and I have red hair, then, yes this is a threat I would want taken seriously.

    And if that means a pupil gets a criminal record that affects his/her life? Tough.
    agathamorse likes this.

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