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so upset

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by tt20, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Sorry for the 'i'm feeling sorry for myself' post but I seriously have had enough.

    A week ago I went onto my final block placement eager to learn excited at nearly finishing as I have always wanted to be a teacher.
    Now every day I dread. My school has very well behaved kids, highly regarded in the area that I am based. My mentor is awful I don't know if this is a personality clash or what.
    Within a week she has put me on a cause for concern without any prior warning or indication. I am just crying all the time, feel miserable and completelty lost my confidence.
    My confidence has always been low. Next week my university mentor is coming in and i am just petrified. The fact my mentor is in the room is going to make it worse.
    I feel that bad I am thinking of quitting after three years of hardwork I really don't think I can take anymore. I am just sobbing at typing this and I am fed up warn out and just dont know what to do.
    I am terrified of leaving as it is the only thing I have ever wanted to do and am scared.
    I think I just ned a hug. Sorry for the rant and all the mistakes. I don't know what I want people to even say.
     
  2. Sorry for the 'i'm feeling sorry for myself' post but I seriously have had enough.

    A week ago I went onto my final block placement eager to learn excited at nearly finishing as I have always wanted to be a teacher.
    Now every day I dread. My school has very well behaved kids, highly regarded in the area that I am based. My mentor is awful I don't know if this is a personality clash or what.
    Within a week she has put me on a cause for concern without any prior warning or indication. I am just crying all the time, feel miserable and completelty lost my confidence.
    My confidence has always been low. Next week my university mentor is coming in and i am just petrified. The fact my mentor is in the room is going to make it worse.
    I feel that bad I am thinking of quitting after three years of hardwork I really don't think I can take anymore. I am just sobbing at typing this and I am fed up warn out and just dont know what to do.
    I am terrified of leaving as it is the only thing I have ever wanted to do and am scared.
    I think I just ned a hug. Sorry for the rant and all the mistakes. I don't know what I want people to even say.
     
  3. Katie_Morag

    Katie_Morag New commenter

    I really feel for you. Have you contacted anyone at the university? Do you have a director of studies or someone who you could speak to? Maybe someone unrelated with your placement that you could just talk things out with?
    Does the teacher give you feedback in any sort of formal way? When I've had students in the past I've had the opportunity to comment on a weekly basis on their own personal target sheets - is there any sort of formal written feedback that she has given you? Did she list any reasons as to why she'd put you down as a cause for concern?
    Remember at the end of the day the worst that could happen (I assume) is you fail the placement and have to resit, I know lots of really good teachers whom that happened to at university.
    Take care
    x
     
  4. Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. Have you asked your mentor exactly why she's put you on cause for concern? The whole point of teacher placements are to support you in becoming a good teacher, and she should be supporting you with this. You're not expected to be an expert straight away! I had a similar experience in my final placement, just kept my head down and got through it. Try and see the light at the end of the tunnel and focus on that as much as possible. If you were a real cause for concern something would of come up in your previous placements. Well done on getting through so far.
     
  5. She said that my planning isn't a week in advance (only been teaching a total by tomorrow two weeks, although it feels a week) and sometimes I have to observe lessons the day before so I can plan for the next day. I was very ill at the weekend and was unable to do barely anything and I have acknowledged that I am struggling. My last placement was 1 year ago so literally just getting back into the routine of things 9she is aware of this)
    She also said that I dont take my mentor meetings seriously 9I have attended every one of them and the reasoning for this is because I asked to go and observe another persons lesson (one of my targets for that week and it was the only time they are teaching as they are SLT. It was her who recommended I went and watched this person teach) I asked if it was possible if we could swap or change the time of our meeting and she said no. I accepted with good grace and turned up to the meeting.
    I know they are trying to support me and I want that but two weeks in I feel is a bit harsh. I jsut keep crying all the time and just have no desire or passion anymore. I just dont know what to do :(
     
  6. Regardless of this I still have taught all my lessons and sent cover work to them.
     
  7. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    Who else is there you can talk to? Is there a senior teacher or a lead mentor who can help you?

    What have your ITT provider said?
    Things are rarely as bad as they seem...promise.
     
  8. Hun, sending you a PM
     
  9. Cosmic_Rainbow

    Cosmic_Rainbow New commenter

    i was hit with this bombshell that my mentor is concerned on tuesday with no prior warning. i cryed in the staff room tuesday evening, went home and got like 1 hour sleep as i was busy planning. and today was an absolute nightmare, i was observed by my uni tutor but my mentor completely slated me to him about how im not doin this and this. i haqve literally been crying non stop since 10am this morning, i couldnt even teach my p3 as i was in floods of tears and the class teacher told me to go sit in the office and have a break. im now terrified abotu what shes gonna write in my report next week.

    Sending you virtual hugs.....dw youre not alone x
     
  10. Cosmic Rainbow- sending you hugs aswell!

    Don't be terrified. Have you talked to your tutor?
    Having 1 hours sleep shows how dedicated you are! and how you're willing to succeed.
    I know how you feel with the crying, I am exactly the same. Even when things seem to be going right I end up crying as I just feel out of my depth and full of panic.

    You need to go out at the weekend and treat yourself to something nice (maybe wine or chocolate or both :p)
    dw- It will all work out in the end :) Sorry if i have not been much help.
     
  11. Very sorry to hear some of you are having such a bad time.
    You <u>must </u>consult with your training provider about this or at least the senior mentor coordinator within your placement school.
    Some mentors do require to see your lessons plans a week in advance although this is not a statutory requirement so if you are having a hard time I do not see it unreasonable that your mentor gives you a bit of slack and more importantly some support!
    Too many mentors, by the sound of it, forget their role of supporter and seem to relish in the self fulfilment of the control, frankly when they do they need to take a look at their own professional role.
    Have some you time one day this weekend and rely on the TES resources available if you can to give yourself a break in planning. Also try and plan yourself some fun (but of course educational) lessons, make teaching the rewarding job it is and enjoy your time with the pupils you teach, its hard I know but try to forgot your mentor is even in the room!
    I hope you start to feel better.#
    L
     
  12. Can I quickly ask which uni's u guys are at?
     
  13. keepthespirit

    keepthespirit New commenter

    Since leaving a successful headship early ( other things I wanted to do ) I've been working for 8 years supervising students on Teaching Practice. It saddens me hearing situations like this. It is my belief we shoulds be more coach than critic - though we do have to make judgements. Last term I supervised a student who had withdrawn from her previous final practice. She was outstanding : rated by both me and the school. I never heard a word of complaint about her previous placement. However, I since found out about others withdrawing who had been placed with the same class teacher. Coincidence ? You obviously care, so keep going. It's easy for me to say but, in the end, I've found that people usually get what they deserve. My very best wishes.
     
  14. Reading these posts have really helped! My mentor is having serrious mood swings with me! one day she will be lovely the next, she will add extra hours to my timetable since I am 'underestimating the job'. I was in a lesson and nearly burst out crying-she has noo sympathy!
    I now have a job interview this week in which I will have to teach a 50minute lesson. I don't know what to do in terms of discussing my lesson plan, hardly see her being concerned in helping me with it. Help??
     
  15. This strategy works, take it from me! Don't give up, get acting and get through. You CAN do it and it is WELL worth it for a couple of months for all the rewards ahead! :)
     
  16. I really feel for you. Exactly the same thing happened to me. I'd feel sick every morning at the thought of another day and often found myself in tears. My university mentor and programme organiser were very supportive, but there was no-one in the school who I felt I could turn to. Half way through the placement, I asked for a deferral for personal reasons and 2 terms later I was in a different school which from the first day was completely different. The behaviour was a bit more challenging but the atmosphere in the department and the support from both my subject mentor and professional mentor were second to none. My confidence returned as did my desire to teach. I think maybe some teachers aren't cut out to be mentors.
     
  17. happydavid

    happydavid New commenter

    This is very good advice from IndigoandViolet. The whole PGCE is really a box ticking exercise. They can try to overwhelm you by picking up on trivialities and the like, but so long as you make an attempt to improve upon the things they are indicating you are weak on, it makes it very hard for them to actually fail you. That was the way I got through it, and believe you me, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling.
    One more thing. The targets they set can be wholly unrealistic for an inexperienced student. Some mentors will always compare you to better students they have mentored or are mentoring, in the belief that this will urge you to pull your socks up. Take no notice. You must listen to what they say and then set your own achievable targets. This is important.

    Please stick with it. Be an actor and play the game with the aim of getting the qualification under your belt.

    Please take care.
     

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