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Sleep issues with 10 week old.

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by ladymarm, Aug 15, 2011.

  1. Hello all,
    having a few sleep problems with my little girl.
    She detests being in her moses basket and won't sleep more than 20 min at a time in the day -even getting her to do this is v difficult. Sleeps happily when in car moving or moving pram.Loves to sleep on me/another warm body!
    She seems to hate sleeping on her back although is very playful on her back when awake. At night she sleeps for roughly an hour in moses basket before waking. her sleep is very fitful even then. Not too happy about trying controlled crying but surely she needs to sleep in the day??!
    In desperation I slept the last two nights in middle of my king size bed (without partner) with her on her stomach on my chest. Both nights she slept for 5 hour stretches and i actually had to wake her to feed her at 3am as i was concerned she was going too long without feeding (still weighs less than 10lb).
    I'm not sure what to do? I feel anxious about having her in bed with me but am getting at least some sleep now, as is she! i expect the health visitor would be horrified. She won't sleep lying on her back in my bed either- tried it again and again. it seems to be on stomach/side or nothing!
    Any tips ? Experiences?
     
  2. Hello all,
    having a few sleep problems with my little girl.
    She detests being in her moses basket and won't sleep more than 20 min at a time in the day -even getting her to do this is v difficult. Sleeps happily when in car moving or moving pram.Loves to sleep on me/another warm body!
    She seems to hate sleeping on her back although is very playful on her back when awake. At night she sleeps for roughly an hour in moses basket before waking. her sleep is very fitful even then. Not too happy about trying controlled crying but surely she needs to sleep in the day??!
    In desperation I slept the last two nights in middle of my king size bed (without partner) with her on her stomach on my chest. Both nights she slept for 5 hour stretches and i actually had to wake her to feed her at 3am as i was concerned she was going too long without feeding (still weighs less than 10lb).
    I'm not sure what to do? I feel anxious about having her in bed with me but am getting at least some sleep now, as is she! i expect the health visitor would be horrified. She won't sleep lying on her back in my bed either- tried it again and again. it seems to be on stomach/side or nothing!
    Any tips ? Experiences?
     
  3. Sorry to hear about sleep issues.
    We used to only co-sleep with her on either my chest or OH's chest. I was a little anxious at first, but then felt that LO was happy, we could sleep and it was a nice bonding experience.
    It was only really at about 12 weeks, that she started to do longer stretches in her moses basket at night. I think the thing to remind yourself of is that your LO will at some point sleep longer in her basket. She really will.
    Unfortunately, I can't help you about the day thing as my LO has always slept OK in the day in her moses basket. However, a friend at NCT had a baby that only slept in the pram or car seat and she was forever walking everywhere! However, now, that has changed and by 16 weeks, her baby sleeps in her cot in the day.
    It will happen...... eventually.
    Also, when your LO is able to roll from front to back, it might not be such a problem letting her sleep on her front. It depends how brave you are....
    Oh - and another thing - s*d the HVs - they're not you - sleep deprived, feeding all the time, consoling an unhappy baby. It is so easy for them (and GPs) to say how terrible you are and what baby should / should not be doing. But, ignore them. Do what you feel comfortable with. As they say, happy mum, happy baby!
    x
     
  4. Aww bless you both.
    My little girl - now 14 months - was exactly the same. Everyone used to tell me how bad I was for letting her sleep on me during the day because I could never get any housework done. She also had colic and would cry between 4 - 5:30 and so by the time my hb got home from work I would literally pass her over and there was never any tea ready (looking back i'm not quite sure what or how I fed us!).
    In the end we did exactly the same - my hb and I would take it in turns to sleep with her laid on us through the night while my little boy (now 5) would sleep on an air bed in our room so that he didn't feel left out!
    We tried to put her into a cot at 8 weeks. At this stage she was getting up 3 times for night feeds and she did okay like this for a while. Then at around 5 months she caught a bug and wouldn't sleep in her cot - we went back to co-sleeping until 8 months. By this time I'd completely had enough, was depressed and exhausted and I felt like there was no other choice but to try letting her cry. I contacted my HV and she gave us a sheet and monitored us while we did it - she was great. Within 2 weeks she was sleeping from 7pm to 5:30 am and I wish I'd done it sooner.
    She still slept on me during the day for a while but after 3 weeks or so of her being settled at night I tried her in her cot for her daytime sleep and she went in fine.
    It's completely up to you as to what you choose to do. If it's not too draining to have her in your bed then that's fine. But you need to be thinking about what your ideal sleep solution would be long term. If you're not getting enough sleep with her in your bed ( I'm talking a good 8 hours) then I wouldn't consider it an option. I've also been told that it's far easier to do the controlled crying sleep solution while they're younger. Plus once you get that sorted out then you're on track to sorting out her day time routines too.
    Personally I would do the controlled crying but everyone is different. Don't let anyone tell you that you're a bad parent for letting her sleep in your bed - you do what you need to do! Keep your chin up - it will get easier but it does take time.
    Sorry for the long post!
    Let us know what you decide and how you get on. [​IMG]
     
  5. Thanks lilypot- i worry so much she will roll off me at night as I'm very tired but it's the only way she'll sleep for more than 1 hour at a time.

    Padawan, controlled crying- iis it 5 minutes then in to reassure then leave them again? I tried this reluctantly during the day yesterday but i'm afraid after 3 5 minute stints and then a cuddle and back in the basket I caved in as she wasn't showing any signs of calming/giving in? How many times are you supposed to do it for?

     
  6. Hi ladymarm, I had the same sort of problems with my son at the same age (he's 23 weeks this week now, I think, have lost count a bit!) I posted on here, I think it was called baby who won't be put down or something and I got excellent advice. Have you tried swaddling her? That was the one thing that made the biggest difference to us. (I then got all worried when at 4 months plus he was still needing swaddling, day and night, but he pretty much made it clear when he didn't want swaddling any more and overnight he went from being swaddled to sleeping in a sleeping bag no problem. Weird!) Also, controversial probably, but have you tried putting her to sleep on her front? My little boy would scream if you put him on his back but once, in sheer desperation, I put him on his front. I sat and watched him sleep peacefully for longer than he had ever slept before. I would have let him sleep on his front all the time but my husband was dead set against it so I just left it. One of my close friends has a little girl and she sleeps on her tummy, even in her pram!
    10 weeks is still tiny (people used to say that to me...!!) and my son had most of his sleeps on us at that age. I'm pretty rubbish where routine is concerned but he is just tending to find his own way with things, for instance, for the past 2 weeks he has gone down awake for every single one of his daytime naps. He might cry for 5 mins but I don't mind anymore as I know he will fall asleep. That would have been unthinkable 4 weeks ago.
    I don't know anybody who hasn't slept with their baby on their chest, you do what you have to..! x
     
  7. Hi ladymarm,
    If you contact your HV they can give you a table on timings and talk you through it all. It's also helpful to have someone on hand while you're doing it in case you have any questions or need to speak about your experiences etc. From experience I can say that it does work but you really have to be certain - it's not fair on baby to stop start it.
    From what I can remember, you start by waiting 3 mins, go in and settle and come away again. Then next time you wait 5 mins, go in settle and come away again. Then next time 10 mins, go in settle and come away again, then 15, then 20, then 25... and then when you get to 30 mins you repeat this until they are asleep. Then next night, however, instead of starting at 3 mins, you start at 5mins. The following night you would start at 10 mins etc.
    When you settle them, it's not neccessarily stopping them crying but just to let them know that it's OK and that you are there. Personally I think it's easier to do at night rather than during the day because of the change in environment - dark, sleep suit, quiet house etc. It's teaching them that it's bed time and at that time it is time to sleep in the cot. Eventually they can then make the link between sleep and cot.
    Does it sound like something you could do?
     
  8. 10 weeks is still very young. I don't think even those who advocate CC recommend doing so before 6 months. There are safe ways to co-sleep which might be worth reading up on if you are nervous about it. I second the recommendation of swaddling - was a godsend for us - Mothercare do a good swaddle blanket but any sheet will do. White noise helped us too - I still use it every night to block out street noise in our room. Until she was about 4 months she spent most evenings in the living room with us until I was ready to go to bed. Sometime after 4/5 months we started trying an evening rhythm (not to time, but the same thing each night) of dinner, bath, PJs and sleeping bag and cuddles with daddy then boob and sleep...ish ;) We usually get one good 3.5 hr stretch at the start of the night now, then tend to co-sleep and feed lying down so I can at least doze through the feeds for the rest of the night. Your LO will have another growth spurt coming up imminently, then likely the 4 month sleep regression - it might be worth finding a way to ride these out first before you consider doing anything more drastic [​IMG]
     
  9. Have you tried a sling or baby carrier for sleeping during the day? She was premature wasn't she? What's her adjusted age? Maybe you could extend the "kangaroo care" (isn't that what they call it?!) as she is probably very much still in need of that physical closeness. Not sure about night time though, although I have vowed that if number 2 has trouble sleeping at night time (due in 4 weeks) I am going to co-sleep as we all need our sleep, particularly now we have an 18 month old who is up at 6 a.m. Good luck! x
     
  10. PS I'm pretty sure she'd be fine sleeping on her side, as long as you roll a blanket up behind and infront her so that she can't roll back or forwards (if that makes sense!) If she's all snug like that it might help her sleep too. When my 18 year old brother was born, that's how my mum was told to put him down to sleep.
     
  11. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    I'm not sure that controlled crying is recommended at this age, particularly as she is premature. Maybe others have tried it and it has worked though. My daughter is 8 months old and has always been great at night- which I'm so thankful for- but has only now started napping in her cot during the day. I used to spend hours rocking her on the glider chair, only for her to wake again when put in the cot, or driving round or walking with her or walking her in the pram. Suddenly a few weeks ago I tried again to put her in the cot for a daytime nap and she grizzled for 2 mins then went to sleep. Now she has 2 naps a day of 1-2 hours in her cot, no problem.
    Don't worry about forming bad habits now, then can be broken later- that's when the controlled crying can be useful. I think before 6 months they are too young to learn from it. Perhaps try a sling for the daytime so you can get things done, and try a dummy if that helps to settle her, and at nighttime a swaddle blanket or co-sleeping if this seems to work for you.
     
  12. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    Also I was told by my HV never to wake a sleeping baby at night for a feed. As babies sleep for longer stretches at night they take more milk during the day and evening to 'tank up' for the night ahead, and waking them can form a waking habit when they don't really need milk. My LO has always been small, between the 2nd and 9th centile- only 14 1/2 lb at 8 months, but she has stayed on her curve really well apart from a minor blsip when we started weaning and she hasn't fed at night since she was a few weeks old. Hope you get it sorted soon x
     
  13. 10 weeks old is still quite young - and I hadn't realised that she was premature. Perhaps do the co-sleeping for the time being and then do controlled crying when she's a bit older.
     
  14. This is hypothetical for me as my baby is still in my belly but I also would be inclined not to do controlled crying. The sling for daytime sleeps and swaddling should help. I have ordered an Amby Nature's Nest baby hammock for my newborn in January. They bounce and sway like the baby in the womb and it is supposed to be great for soothing and settling even colicky babes to sleep. They are around £175 new but only around £70 on eBay. Also I would like a Bednest for co-sleeping at night - take a look at their website. It's not skin-to-skin contact but baby can see you and hear you breathing next to them. They are out of stock and expensive on eBay. I would consider hacking a crib that doesn't sway up so it has three walls with the open side joined to your bed with bungee cords. Or get an Arm's Reach co-sleeper or similar. They don't come cheap though. Thinking of you and hope you all get some rest soon xxx
     
  15. We just have a regular cotbed with the dropside down pulled up to our bed - no hacking required ;)
     
  16. That is a much more practical idea!!

     
  17. We had a similar problem to start with until LO was around 6 weeks - sorry I don't know what the adjusted age of your LO is. At a friend's house we discovered a vibrating chair and LO for the first time napped in the chair and stayed asleep for around 1 1/2 hours - it was a fisher price one with sides - we went out and got one the next day - she still likes it even at 7 months, although in the past couple of weeks she now naps in her cots. We did do some co-sleeping as well and I think almost all of my friends in my NCT group did co-sleeping at one point or another as it gets to the point where you just want to be horziontal. I've never got on with CC - I went with pick up/put down once LO got to 3 months, which takes longer to work but less traumatic for me
     
  18. Thanks all.
    Adjusted age 7 weeks so still weeny and have decided against controlled crying . funny as ive always hated the idea but shows what sleep deprivation will make you consider. Thanks Padawan for timings- not ready for it but may be at some point!!!
    Kittenmittens. my LO follows similar weight and weight gain to yours- has climbed from .4th to 9th centile so I must be doing something right although my poor nipples glow red like traffic lights-ow!!!
    She slept from 8:30pm til 3am( with 11pm and 1am feed in betwwen) in basket last night and all because i warmed her bed as i used to with a hot w bottle- in August!!!
     
  19. Yay, Ladymarm! Keep up the good work! xxx
     
  20. kittenmittens

    kittenmittens New commenter

    That's great news, well done for keeping going with the breastfeeding too.
     

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