1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

Single Teachers

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Kit909, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. Anyone else found that the job has taken over your life so much that you can't see where the next relationship is coming from, and how you would find the time anyway!
  2. Anyone else found that the job has taken over your life so much that you can't see where the next relationship is coming from, and how you would find the time anyway!
  3. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Why would you let it?

    It's only your job.
  4. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    It only takes over if you let it. Relationships, I find, tend to pop up just when you aren't actually looking for one...and you make time if you really want to.
  5. I know it sounds strange but you have to make the time!! I always make sure that I work to live not live to work. That means that I do have time to go out and have fun
  6. I'm glad I don't have to juggle a relationship with my PGCE, put it that way! But if I felt moved to do so, I'm sure I could find the time- if something is taking over your life so much, it needs re-examining.
  7. I agree with all of the above however there is a dating agency called Oasis - I went on there and found the (almost) perfect person within a few weeks.
    Try it, you never know your luck!
  8. This is a far cry from the situation when I started in 1978. Many teachers found time for extra-curricular activities with one another in school time, if you catch my drift. The men in question were usually macho PE types without marking to do, but the women were English teachers who should have known better but wanted a bit of rough.
    Seriously, I sympathise. Life can become just bed and work if you let it. Or if that gargoyle Gove gets his way.
  9. My PGCE year was one of the main factors in my splitting up with my ex because he didnt like the amount of time I gave my work, I then deliberately stayed single for a few years after and then met my current bf on e harmony from the beginning he knew exactly how much of my time he would get and how often hed have to watch tv while I marked books and he was fine with it.
  10. lrw22

    lrw22 Established commenter

    This has given me a giggle this morning!
  11. And all true. Or copper-bottomed rumour, at least.
  12. Yes! Although I have a much better work/life balance now (3rd year of teaching) than I used to. The workload hasn't got any better but I have got better at prioritising. Nevertheless, I STILL haven't met anyone in nearly 2 and a half years, despite doing various activities out of school. May have to go back onto match.com, although that was also unsuccessful the last time I tried. *Sob*.
  13. I can picture it ....Oh the halcyon days of the 70s [​IMG]
    Yes, we did have to put up with strutting make PE teachers, most with long sideburns...but I can't say I was ever tempted to find out just how rough they were. [​IMG]
    The staffroom used to be fun back then.....so many 'types' and characters, all allowed to do their own thing, in peace.
  14. Yes. There's less diversity now. The old-timers have retired, replaced by identikit early 30-somethings, without personality beyond a tight-lipped focus on their career path, with nary a kind word or smile for anyone except the head.

  15. Loving the 70's memories.
    Don't think it's as easy as that just to say 'it's only a job'. Extra responsibilities and pressures from above, not to mention pressures I put on myself mean I've really struggled with work/life balance. I'm sure it will happen if I can spend a few years now consolidating.
    Regarding the on-line dating thing, I'd always be worried it became instant playground gossip if I was 'spotted' on a site. Our parents (small village school) would dine out on that one!

  16. Yes...I agree.
    It sounds cruel and mean to slate newer, younger teachers in this way...because they know no different...they've been trained to be like that and see examples of the 'head-down, get on with it, improve results, analyse your lesson and try to be even better next time' culture that pervades schools now.
    In fairness, most work really hard..and the joy of it all hasn't been squashed out by them but by the 'experts' and politicians who have tinkered with education. I am not sure I'd enjoy teaching now if I were a rookie. In fact, I know I'd hate the job. I know teachers question what's happening in schools, but they are pretty powerless to change things. No one dare rock the boat. It's career suicide.
    I was invited back to school by a teacher colleague I used to work alongside. We got chatting when we bumped into each other in a cafe. I was curious to see inside the new buildings...which looked extremely swish. We talked of the disappearance of much-loved characters. She bemoaned the way teaching had gone but was stuck for financial reasons. I taught there in the '90s and most of the 80 staff then were in their 40s and 50s and definitely 'old school'....and training up NQTs to be like them...ie: slightly more relaxed about the whole business. (They've all gone now...all but three of the people I knew....so sad because many were brilliant teachers and great characters...but some of the outspoken ones were almost 'witch-hunted' out so they moved on - the doing of a new fault-finding Head.)
    My ex-colleague invited me in to have a look around the new building. It looked good..but in terms of atmosphere it felt the pits! It was slightly like something from science fiction...rather clinical, cold and ordered.
    As we drank coffee at break time I mentioned the huge numbers of young teachers in the building...everywhere I went they were scurrying around...deep in thought or in earnest discussion about their work...even in free time they were beavering away..Where was the banter, the laughs...the slacking off every now and then? Not apparent and the place actually felt completely foreign to me. I also felt as if I were being watched too....My colleague confirmed all my thoughts...one-upmanship, being organised, being ahead of the game, being ultra-prepared, being 'perfect' was what it was all about. No one could be found wanting and what incredible pressure that brings....
    It was spooky...so I don't blame the new breed of very hard-working teachers...who all seemed to be running scared...I blame the conditions they work under.
    It's all so sad. My old and fun colleagues (all excellent and committed teachers but many slightly eccentric individuals, and great to work alongside) might as well have been preposterous or ridiculous characters from a Dickens' novel. They did their own thing, but they have no place in teaching any more.. [​IMG]
    You can't fight 'progress'. Sigh.

  17. Ooops. Sorry for going off at a tangent and reminiscing with Bob.
    However, from the above I can understand why relationships perhaps have to be put on the back burner, given the workload of teachers.
    My workload was heavy but if I slacked off when I had to, there were no real repercussions. We weren't micro-managed as some teachers are now.
    The young teachers I know (all the same age as my own children...went to school with them...) work extremely hard at home...and seem to give priority to their work.
  18. Victoria Plum

    Victoria Plum New commenter

    I have been teaching 14 years now and the workload just gets more and more every day!! I have a good social life on weekends and holidays but through the week most nights I am in bed by 9pm! I too am having trouble meeting someone. Even though I go out to a variety of places men just don't seem to come and talk any more. I'm too much of a scaredy cat to approach them!! I'm not entirely sure how I would find the time to fit in a relationship anyway - weekends and holidays only?? I can't think of any ex boyfriends who would have been very happy for me to say" Right, I'm off to bed - and no, I mean to go to sleep!!!" My last fella used to moan about the fact I went to bed at 10pm! I am currently having a VERY casual relationship - we see each other every couple of weeks and are free to see other people (yes, I DO mean a "friend with benefits!!") which is absolutely ideal to be honest! The thought of the initial dating phase scares me! I just don't have the time or energy. I'm sure a new suitor would soon get very bored of me saying "Not tonight, I'm off to bed!" Or fitting them in around my social life which I don't want to give up entirely for a man!! Oh dear... it's just TOO difficult. *curls up on sofa with teddy bear and gleefully switches on Game of Thrones* :))
  19. madenglishgirl

    madenglishgirl New commenter

    Yup! Try throwing a 4 year old into the mix and you are utterly doomed on the relationship front...

Share This Page