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Silly question but...

Discussion in 'Primary' started by Lilybett, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. ...I'd like to know.
    Child A: "Child B hit me/kicked me/called me a name/etc."

    Child B: "No, I never!"
    You didn't see it. You don't know. What do you do?
    I mostly do nothing, apart from say "I certainly hope not!" in a stern voice. What can you do?
    But I'm sure half the time it's true. Probably more than half the time. And how annoying to be told: 'Tell a teacher, you must tell a teacher' - and then Teacher does nothing...
    Hmmm x
     
  2. littlelebowski

    littlelebowski New commenter

    If both continue to tell a different story, I usually try "well, the best thing is that we all sit down and talk about it at lunch time and then we can get to the bottom of it because we really need to know." Nine times out of ten, one of them will then confess!
     
  3. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    I used to do that, then realised that half the afternoon could go by and I would still have no clue who hit/kicked/insulted/etc who at lunchtime from the endless complaints received.

    When I child complains to me, if the other child is nowhere about, then I generally say something like "How horrid! Isn't that a terrible thing to do/say? I should stay away until so and so feels a bit better and so wants to play nicely".

    If the other child is about, I tend to look really shocked and raise my eyebrows at the accused and say "Why...?" Then they give me a reason and I look at the first child who usually looks a bit sheepish. We agree they are both at fault and they do funny face handshaking and are fine. If there is no reason, I lecture a little about how we treat people and then ask the accused to apologise and they do funny face handshaking and are fine.

    Sometimes it is true and sometimes not. Sometimes it is true but totally understandable. Just don't try too hard to find the real reason and accurate story, it is unlikely you ever will and so no point.
     
  4. Thanks for your replies.
    I'm heartened I'm not the only one who finds this a toughie!
    I always ask, 'Was it on purpose?'. So if they insist that, yes, it was, I'm going to say we will talk about it at play/lunchtime, or at least when everyone is busy with an activity. Hopefully this will have some effect :)
    xx
     
  5. There is a poster who has a fantastic way of dealing with this using a conflict resolution strategy. I think s/he posts on personal so it might be worth asking there. As I remember, you have to negotiate how the two can sort out their problem together without you having to be the arbitrator. It sounds long-winded but if it works then you only need to do it a few times. I haven't been able to use it myself as I'm not in the same class every day, but I thought it had a lot of promise.
     
  6. s1oux

    s1oux New commenter

    We had a serious incident last year where the head told the perpetrator that we had cctv and would check. I nodded, playing my part in the charade but still he would not relent knowing us to be pulling his leg.

    Couldn't believe it when, the next morning, I had the dvd on my desk showing it. I had it on the IWB as the children came in in the morning and said that I would unpause it unless "someone" came clean. I will never forget the look on the boys face!
     
  7. That sounds amazing. Not even because it would free me up from listening to these unsubstantiated tales of woe (not that that's an unattractive prospect) but because how cool to set them up with the skills to - responsibly - sort their own problems for themselves.
     
  8. minnieminx

    minnieminx New commenter

    I tend to send girls to 'have a chat and make friends again' by themselves. They have generally upset each other in some girly way and can easily sort it out on a heap of cushions in the reading corner.
     
  9. If, after a discussion about what happened, one child is still denying everything I usually ask them if the other child is lying - yet to find a child who will say yes when the other person is telling the truth!
     

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