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Signed off work..feeling so guilty

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by myweedyallotment, Jan 11, 2012.

  1. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    Hi everyone..just been the docs. Been signed off work with depression. Full of guilt. Feel horrible for letting my work colleagues down. Worried about what everyone will be saying about me. Thought this would help having time off. Just feel even more ****. Anyone tell me how to rationalise these feelings?
  2. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    Hi everyone..just been the docs. Been signed off work with depression. Full of guilt. Feel horrible for letting my work colleagues down. Worried about what everyone will be saying about me. Thought this would help having time off. Just feel even more ****. Anyone tell me how to rationalise these feelings?
  3. slippeddisc

    slippeddisc New commenter

    If it was one of your colleagues who'd been signed off would you be judging them and saying horrible things? NO of course not. You'd want to be there for them and support them and I'm sure your colleagues will want to do the same. Feel no guilt and just concentrate on getting better.
    Get loads of fresh air and exercise. Get out and about as much as possible (out of your town as you might feel uncomfortable being out an about where you'll run into parents). Try and see friends as much as possible. Lots of sleep (but not in the day time as this makes you feel worse). Lots of good homemade food like Sunday dinners. Medication if you need it.
    Don't feel bad. It's human nature to fall apart occasionly, especially in a crazy job like ours!

  4. PlymouthMaid

    PlymouthMaid Occasional commenter

    No, don't feel like that x Get down to that weedy allotment and dig like mad. Plan the new growing year. Then if you are still feeling bad about it, come and dig mine :) (mine is so bad I have had an official warning letter).
  5. I expect that a lot of the way you are feeling is because of the depression. I have been through periods of feeling guilty and then I remember why I'm signed off with depression and the guilt disipates!
    I am gradually learning (see my thread just a little bit down this forum), with the help of other people, that I really couldn't carry on the way I was and that I would be pretty useless if I was at work anyway. I've only just got to the point of being able to do housework without bribing myself so dealing with the stroppiness of teenagers would be more than difficult.
    Be really, really kind to yourself. Don't take the opportunity to do all of the outstanding chores you might have around your home or rushing around doing other things because you could delay your recovery *.
    There are more than a few of us around that are in a similar situation so you've got plenty of support if/when you need it, or just want a natter.

    *This is the voice of experience btw [​IMG]
  6. I'm sure your colleagues aren't saying horrible things about you. Like someone else said: would YOU *** about a colleague who'd been signed off ill? I'm currently off for 6 weeks with a fracture. Most of my colleagues have been lovely and kind; one or two less so. Y'know what? When I'm back and those people ask me to go out of my way and stay late to help them with THEIR stuff that's nothing to do with me, I'll be busy. Don't feel bad: doctors don't just sign people off *****-nilly, there is good reason why you can't go to work. Just because your illness isn't visible doesn't mean it's any less real - witness the medical note. If your colleagues ARE all slating you, then you work in a horrible school which probably drove you to your depression so remind me why you feel bad. Best wishes for your recovery x
  7. Hi! Sorry to hear this! I was in a similar position to you last year, so know what you mean about the guilt! We're different people, so I can't tell you how to rationalise your feelings, but I can tell you how I rationalised mine (thanks to the help of a fansattic little book called Depressive illness: The curse of the strong by Dr Tim Cantopher-various tes users have recommended this book as an excellent guide to dealing with anxiety/depression related to stress):

    1. I am letting my colleagues and students down (I didn't care about the managers as I warned them and they didn't act on it)-I would be letting them down even more if I struggled on and on until I had a nervous breakdown because I wouldn't be able to work again and they would therefore have to pick up my workload on a permanent basis until someone else could be employed to replace me. At least, if I follow the GP's advice, I have a chance of going back to work and sorting stuff out or hand over to a replacement.

    2. Worried what everyone else will be saying about me-None of their damn business what's wrong with me and why I'm off and I'm not there to hear it, so *blows raspberry* and they'll move onto something else to gossip about anyway. Those who matter will applaud my decision and be concerned about me, so need to worry about what they think!

    3. Guilt is good! It means I'm putting myself first which is good as it means I'm doing what I've got to do to get well and stay well! Better guilty than dead (as a result of 'living in hell' which is how I described the way I felt last year)! If all else fails,' you can always blame it on Dr Tim Cantopher; it's no skin off his nose!' Plus, these feelings have occurred BECAUSE I haven't done what I needed to do to lead a healthy and fulfilling life, so I regard this time off as well over due and deserved! Oh, and these feelings will pass!

    Hope you feel better soon!

    Time off will help I promise you, just be good to yourself for a bit because it will take time (because it took time to get into the state where you needed time off)!

    HTH and look after yourself! We're all here if you want to chat further!

    ROSIEGIRL Lead commenter

    You're not letting your colleagues down. You are getting well - and that's the best thing you can do for yourself and for them.
    It takes time. Small steps - tiny ones even!
  9. You're not letting them down you're getting yourself well and need a bit of time to do it.
    I had time off last term and felt exactly the same way. My family came up with an analogy to stop me beating myself up (which certainly wasn't helping)
    If I had fractured my ankle I would have gone to the doctors with no problems and asked for some time off as you can't teach on one leg very well!
    If you walk (or teach) on a fractured ankle it will break so don't. Nobody should ask you to even hop on it a little bit until it is strong enough.
    Even when it has healed it will still be a bit sore when you run for a while. When that happens rest it again.
    Good for you for going to the doctors and getting signed off that was my biggest hurdle!
    Now rest and get well again. It is an illness and nothing personal. Think baby steps and you'll get through it. I'm back at work now (finding it hard but back) and found the forums a great help.
    Good luck
  10. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    OK, let's turn this situation around. How would you feel if your GP came into your classroom and told you how to teach?
    I imagine you'd be outraged as your GP is not qualified as a teacher, doesn't know your class(es), doesn't know there targets etc etc etc.
    Now, you have gone to another professional who has told YOU to stay off work. If the GP thinks, in their professional capacity, that you are unfit for work, then you are. Take the message, read through some of the excellent advise here from teachers who have been where you are. It is understandable that you feel guilty, but just ignore it and allow you body and mind to hea.l It will take as long as it will take.
    I've been there, done that and worn the tea shirt. One of the biggest problems I had to overcome was dumping the guilt, but I did it!!
    Take advice and look after yourself: that is the way to recovery, honestly!! [​IMG] Hugs for luck.
  11. myweedyallotment

    myweedyallotment New commenter

    I just wanted to say thank you for all the comments made. x
  12. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    I've also been signed off.....fractured spine (fell off one of my horses).
    I also feel horribly guilty. I think it just goes with the territory. Fortunately I've had an email from Dep Head to say take as much time as I need and that the school will support me 100% in this. TBH that was the best medicine ever, but I still feel horribly guilty.
    I think it's a natural feeling. Hope you can rest up and get well soon. Try not to feel guilty, it will slow the healing process.

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