Hello, this is my first time posting. I started at a new school this September and about a month into the job I realised I really wasn't enjoying it anymore. I'd gone down to four days a week to address workload issues but still found it quite stressful. I also experienced a couple of panic attacks at work. (I told myself these were 'normal' exceptions, but it's not really ideal to have panic attacks at all is it). It got to the point where I was feeling full of dread in the mornings and I decided in October to hand in my notice. I know people say to give new schools a chance and it might take a long time to settle in but I felt like I'd really made a bad call not to have just left at the end of the academic year and quit the profession. The last few weeks of the first half term were tough, and it got to the point where I was sleeping a lot and tearful in the evenings when I knew I had work the next day, frequently felt sick when arriving at work. At points I was having thoughts like 'I wish I could fall down these stairs and go to hospital so that I wouldn't have to be here'. Last week of the half term I got knocked out by a chest infection, bacterial and viral at the same time, couldn't get out of bed for a week. It was the illest I've ever been and it seemed to come out of nowhere until someone suggested to me that it could be stress related. I saw the doctor just before half term and she agreed I was suffering from stress and offered to sign me off but I said no, as it was a few days away from half term anyway and we agreed to meet again in half term. When I saw her I still wasn't feeling like myself but I said I'd rather go back at the start of a term and see how far I could get, so she didn't sign me off. When I returned to work I explained to my line manager that the GP and I thought it was stress related, and he was unsupportive. He walked out of the meeting to go and do something else whilst we were discussing adjustments, and he made a comments about how I needed to not be absent again because it's not fair on the pupils. I lasted two weeks and then got tonsilitus, and then the stress and anxiety returned with a vengence. I've really struggling with negative thought spirals and anxiety/panic symptoms. I've been accessing cognitive behaviour therapy through my GP and that's been helping, but I don't feel able to go back yet. It's been a long journey to accepting that I've been badly affected by stress, and I've had a lot of feelings of guilt, shame and feeling like I'm a terrible teacher, bad person etc for taking time off, which I'm slowly working through. It's true that I am part time, and I don't have TLR, but I'm learning that everyone deals with stress differently and those facts dont invalidate what I'm experiencing mentally. I'm seeing the GP tomorrow but HR have got in touch and referred me to OH, although they haven't actually asked me the details of why I'm off. I don't really know what to do about the next few weeks and I don't know what I need. It's only five weeks until I leave and I'm not sure there's anything to be gained by me going on a partial phased return or something. Part of me just wants to say to school - lets stop the contract here, although I won't get paid for December then I won't feel like it's hanging over me. I'm nervous about seeing the OH because I don't know what the process is, also I'm a bit worried they might say I'm not ill. It's a weird situation because I'm leaving anyway and it's difficult to separate not wanting to work there in general from not being fit to be at work. And the uncertainty is not helping the anxiety! Sorry for the absolute essay, I found this quite cathartic to write though. I suppose all I'm asking is - has anyone been in a similar situation? and if you have any advice that would be appreciated, either about what I should aim for or my rights in the OH process, anything really, I'm feeling quite lost.