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Siblings sharing a bedroom

Discussion in 'Personal' started by katherinelily, Aug 29, 2011.

  1. I don't have any children, so my curiosity in this is, I have to admit, just a passing interest but I am wondering if those of you with children had or have them sharing a bedroom.
    Speaking personally, if I (was fortunate enough) to have a boy and a girl, it would not occur to me to put them in the same bedroom. From a conversation with a woman I know however, she tells me her two year old and four year old son and daughter share a bedroom and will continue to do so until they are in their early teens due to their finances (they live in a two bedroom property.) She also plans to have another child in the intervening years.
    I do feel this is a little unfair on both children but am interested in other views on this.
  2. doomzebra

    doomzebra Occasional commenter

    In an ideal world they would have their own rooms but, as this is not an option, fairness hardly enters into the equation does it?
  3. BelleDuJour

    BelleDuJour Star commenter

    My son and daughter shared a room unitl aged 7 and 5/6 I think.
  4. I'm the eldest of four girls and two boys. Three bed house equal four girls sharing one room.
    I had two boys and a three bed house, they shared untill one asked for his own room, he was twelve.
    Girl and boy sharing till early teens is a bit much IMO.
    And having another before you can afford the space seems a bit daft, but maybe that's just me.

  5. It is odd, I suppose. I know fifty years ago, certainly one hundred it would have been the norm, for them to have shared a bed as well I imagine.
    I think I'd be inclined to perhaps look at other options such as letting the existing property out and renting a bigger place to allow for a little more room; I wouldn't expect older children of opposite genders to share a room, but of course that is just me.
  6. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    Would this be financially viable?
  7. When I was a child (50s) a room of one's own was a luxury that none of my friends or relations aspired to. Whilst incest certainly went on, as it always has, it wasn't in the forefront of everyone's mind like it is now.
    When my grandmother moved in with us, she got my brother's room and he moved into my room with me, an arrangement that continued until I left home at 18. The lack of privacy was not an issue because our bathroom was downstairs so in the morning it was always dressing-gown on, grab clothes and run to bathroom. The bedrooms were freezing so it was no hardship to not get dressed in them, and there was nothing in there but the beds and a wardrobe. They weren't used for refuge, hobbies or socialising. When my foster-brother moved in with us, my brother's bed was replaced with bunk beds so in effect I shared a room with my brother and another non-related boy. You can just see social services buying that today, but they were quite happy for him to come and live with us back then!
    No houses in our area had more than three bedrooms (2 and a boxroom really) so if you had more than 2 kids, they were sharing. Ideally girls and boys would be separate but it wasn't a given.
  8. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    Early teens is probably later than our modern-day, overly precious, delusions of grandeur sensibilities will accept but I can't see a problem with sharing up until about age 10.
    My sister and I shared a double bed until I was about 10 and she was about 8. We had a 2 bedroomed house and there were 4 children (2 girls and 2 boys, fortunately) so my mum had a 'z-bed' in the living room for years.
    It was very much the norm for large families to share bedrooms until relatively recent times.
  9. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    You can tell that we're of an age, lily.
    My mother was brought up in a tenement flat and was one of 5 kids in a 2 bedroomed flat and there were many other much, much larger families than theirs. Bed recesses in the kitchen were usually where the parents slept.
    My best friend was an only child and I envied her the space she had though, like lily, we didn't spend any time in our unheated bedrooms, particularly in the winter.

  10. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    My elder brother and I shared until our little brother came along when I was seven.

    Can I ask what's wrong with the word sex in this context?
  11. Yes, I can quite see that historically things were different but I suppose everything is in the context of the time it was in: by that I mean that (for example) striking a child in school would almost probably bring with it a prison sentence today, whilst once it was the norm.
    I should have been more specific sorry - I meant siblings of different genders sharing a room being a little less than appropriate after a certain age. I have no idea why, but I also do know I wouldn't have liked this myself at the same age.
  12. Anonymous

    Anonymous New commenter

    You wouldn't have thought anything of it if you were older than you are.
  13. That's an odd question. I didn't even think about it. Possibly I instinctively use the word gender rather than sex having spent eight years working in secondary schools and knowing 'sex' regardless of its context will entice nervous laughter. It certainly wasn't done with any forethought and I have to say, I find your drawing attention to it more peculiar than my original choice of word.
  14. Yes, very likely. Although I do think even people of a different generation (forgive me if that sounds as if I'm implying you're old - I'm not) are conscious that values and ideals change and alter.
  15. inky

    inky Lead commenter

    Why? I'm of an age when everyone said sex, just as they did even in prim Victorian times. The word gender always jars with me unless there are questions of identity involved.

  16. I found it an odd thing to draw attention to. I could, for example, have used alternative words in many of my sentences - having said for instance I found it a peculiar or strange or bizarre thing to draw attention to. There is nothing odd about the word gender, nor is there anything odd about the word sex: I simply selected the former to use in my post.
  17. Strictly speaking, gender is a grammatical term. It was hijacked by early psychologists to mean traits, cultural and biological, associated with each sex.
    It strikes me as odd that in an age so saturated with sex that we have become so twee about using the word in its proper context.
  18. Msz

    Msz Established commenter

    You beat me too it Lily ... I always associate gender with grammar exercises
  19. I think it's odd anybody would even notice. I didn't [​IMG]

  20. katycustard

    katycustard Occasional commenter

    My son and daughter shared a bedroom and often a bed from birth to 8 and 5.
    My two oldest daughters shared a bedroom until they were 14 & 12 when the oldest one got her own room and the younger one cried for a week!
    My children, of either sex, have always had more fun sharing a bedroom than being in one on their own. There is always someone to talk to when you wake up, cuddle up to if you get cold or scared and they can read the same books, taking turns to read a chapter each!

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