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Shut up!!!

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by festival fever, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. Whereas within my family and group of friends its not considered rude at all - just assertive. Blunt.
    I know of groups of friends who think nothing of swearing to eachother, yet I don't like this. My friends don't swear near me because I don't like it. I don't swear. Different people see the world differently.
     
  2. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    Exactly!
     
  3. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    As I live and breathe ..
    are we not even allowed to think swear words now when dealing with pupils whose behaviour would try the patience of a saint?
     
  4. I can remember the last time a student said 'shut up' to me. (Reminded by the child in my class now, part of a class quietly doing Xmas puzzles. They're okay, I can post this).
    She came to me with something that was upsetting her. She's in my form, sees me as a 'loud mumsy' figure. (Or grandmumsy, I'm old enough).
    We chatted, I reassured her, she was happier. I made a silly jokey comment that made her smile and blush a bit. She said "shut uuuup" and laughed. (Some children say this to each other. It means 'don't be silly' to them. A bit of an Americanism I think). I smiled at her and told her she could talk to me if she needed to.
    It was a nice moment. Telling her off for saying 'shut up' to me would have ruined it.
     
  5. Fair enough. Personally, I would ask that student (who said shut up) to let me deal with the rude student, and then deal with the interrupter in a way that I saw fit.


    Fair enough again, although I have to say, the students are not my mates, and the same rules don't apply.

    Have you ever told a kid off for telling another one to shut up ie 'shut up', 'no you shut up' etc? How does it work when a teacher already has given the indication that really it's ok to speak like that in the classroom?

    I agree with you. There are different contexts to all these things, and I'm certainly no teaching guru or expert - I'm just a teacher like the rest of you. I'm not trying to tell anyone how to do their job. I just wonder, out of all the ways to quieten a kid down, why you would tell them to 'shut up'? There have to be better ways, surely? Just my opinion.
     
  6. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    Telling the children off in that scenario has nothing to do with the words Shut Up but with the inappropriate squabbling that is interrupting the lesson.
    If they were trading swear words, they would be getting more than a telling off.
     
  7. Very true, but it still doesn't address the point that if the teacher says it, and then the kids say it, the teacher hasn't got a leg to stand on. Bearing in mind that teachers are supposed to be role models, how does it work when the teacher does it? And of course, swearing is worse. But I still think 'shut up' is rude. It's all personal, of course, and we aren't robots, and everyone thinks or says things in the heat of the moment. But using 'shut up' regularly - is that really the best way? For me it isn't - if that's the way you like to teach, then fair enough.
     
  8. garyconyers

    garyconyers New commenter

    You're missing the point I was making. Basically I was saying (or trying to say) that different people have differing standards and views on what they think is 'rude'. I don't think 'shut up' is rude, nor do the people I hang around with. If I don't think its rude why would I pretend to in the classroom. That would be false, the kids would pick up on the dishonesty IMO.
    Occasionally I've told kids off for this - I tell them both to shut up and get on with their work. It works for me - not sure about why this would be a problem to you.My focus would be on their talking/ shouting/ argueing when they should be working not the way they're doing it! It would be the same if they told each other to 'shush' or 'be quiet' when they should be working. As I keep saying I don't think shut up is rude.
    To me 'shut up' (or variations) is the most direct, assertive, bluntest way to do this without being rude. I use it on my classes, none of my students has ever complained or been unhappy with this. If they did I'd reconsider, possibly.
    Thank you. You don't use it, I do because it works for me with my students. You're asking why I think its okay to tell a student to 'shut up', I'm trying to explain. Hopefully we can agree that its all about context and professional judgment. I wouldn't tell you that you should say shut up - hopefully you wouldn't tell me I shouldn't. However I think its okay to think about what we do and say and justify it if asked.
    Have a good Christmas break - we've all earnt it!
     
  9. garyconyers

    garyconyers New commenter

    For me it is.
    Crossed posts - we seem to be in agreement that different classes/ teachers vcan have different ways of conduct.
    I think shut up isn't rude - you think it is. Agree to disagree??
     
  10. jubilee

    jubilee Star commenter

    So, if the pupils interrupt by saying "Stop telling us to be quiet and listen! You should be listening to us. We have rights too, so there!" we can't tell them off because they are just using the same form of words that we just used?
     
  11. That's never been an issue for me. I don't drink beer in the classroom either, although I do in 'real life'. The kids don't see through the 'dishonesty'. Clearly there is a time and place for different things. But I agree, it's all about context and personal opinion.

    I like to focus on the work that is being missed/neglected when they are doing this, so I think we're in broad agreement here. But I do place a huge emphasis on respect in the classroom - to use 'shut up' would undermine all the little behaviour management stuff I do. If students are squabbling I would remind them to get on with their work, and to talk at breaktime or whatever. I just wouldn't say 'shut up'. As you say, it's a personal thing.

    On the rare occasions that I have used it, it hasn't gone down well, and I've personally felt that it crossed a line. Different students, different teachers, different situations.

    Thank you! You too!!!
     
  12. No of course not - I know what you're saying, that the interruption is the problem more than the words themselves. If a student did say what I 'should be doing', I would stand my ground like any other teacher (ie "You have a choice between passing and failing. If you listen to me you will pass. If you behave or speak to me like that, you will fail" etc or some other variation).

    Let me put it this way - the question was if teachers should say 'shut up'. I don't think we should because it is rude. Do I think students should say it? No, because it is rude. Does that mean that students can interrupt me using other language? No, because it is rude. Would I tell them to shut up if they interrupted using something other than 'shut up'? No, because it is rude.

    I don't mean to patronise, but I think this conversation has run its course now, and you still don't seem to understand that 'shut up' is not the only option. I hope you have a lovely xmas.
     
  13. musiclover1

    musiclover1 New commenter

    It's about context, culture and body language, isn't it. I can think of people who'd say 'shut up' and it woud be just part of their normal, blunt way of speaking. But it's not for me.
     
  14. My apologies to Gary. I posted under his username coz I borrowed his laptop to post (he was logged on, apparently posts on Opinion occasionally).
    So glad we can disagree and be nice about it. Am enjoying being off for Christmas.
     
  15. No, I don't think it was a policeman exactly, but something similar. However, a bit careless perhaps, lending his laptop to a middle-aged woman who describes herself as a bit of a "battleaxe". I don't know, maybe we should be worried about Gary and check with the plods that's he's OK? Wouldn't want him coming under undue influence from this scary lady. Although, to be fair, she does seem to share much of his outlook on life and attitudes towards others. Or is she really a lady? Could we be dealing with a case of crossdressing here? The plot thickens! [​IMG]
     
  16. It was a policeman with handcuffs and arrests and stuff. As I know him in real life, have known him years, I know this. So you are wrong.
    I know you are best ignored because you haven't anything constructive to say but I guess pointing out when you are wrong would embarass you into shutting up for a while. If you had any shame. Here's hoping.
    Wrong again. I'm not as 'nice' as him. He'd never insult his students. I do. I'd never give up a good career for my family (I don't have kids, so that's the difference). He did. Our political views differ. We are very different.
    Seriously James if you're going to lie about someone, or make snide implied comments at least make them slightly credible.
    Now disappear under whatever slimy stone you crept out of you useless waste of internet space.
     

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