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Should I tell head my plans? or wait? advice wanted!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy' started by athomeincomfort, May 22, 2011.

  1. I have a sneaky feeling that my head wants me to be year leader (as well as responsibility for a core subject) in a different year group in September, which is fine, but she has no idea of my desire to start a family.
    I am seriously hoping to fall pregnant some time in the next year, and if that happens, I'd be leaving school mid year, in an important academic year for the children. It's also well known that this academic year (in our school) is notoriously tough and as such has 'driven' a few colleagues into the ground!
    However, we have been ttc for the last 16 months and no joy yet. Should I tell my head of my family plans to allow her to plan more effectively for the next school year, or suck it up and wait until the hopeful happens and surprise her later??? (Hopefully, sooner rather than later!)

    Any comments welcome,
  2. i'd just keep it to yourself hun. employers can treat women differently when they know they're TTC and i'd hate to wonder if some decisions were made just because i might get pregnant.....
    good luck with ttc x
  3. Ok, thank you. I'd give her <u>any</u> reason not to go into that particular year group though!!
  4. As much as you wish to fall pregnant asap, you just don't know how much longer it will take. I would not tell the head and if you want to take on those extra roles then do it. You'll also benefit from the pay which will help you with child care costs later etc.You would most probably have fully settled into your role(s) by the time you're in early stages of pregnancy anyway at the least, and if unfortunately you're not pregnant, then you will continue progressing in your career until you are :)
    If you tell your head, they may treat you differently. As far as I'm concerned, it's none of their business until you are pregnant and when you tell them. Good luck with the ttcing!
  5. Oh, well that's a different matter then ha ha! Could you just explain your desire to not go into that year group without explaining that you want to start a family?
  6. Sound advice as always!
    I already have these roles, it's just the pressure of the year group that I'd not relish, and it's immense pressure in my school! Unfortunately, I may not be able to persuade her as I have been in my current year group a number of years and last year suggested a change.... whoops! I'd be 'running from the scene of the crime' as she'd put it if I managed to get pregnant!
  7. Less pressure would be better for you if you are ttc. It depends - I would have done anything to work under less pressure when I was at your stage of ttc but you may thrive on the challenge.
    I don't wish to alarm you but 16 months is quite a long time - you would now be able to seek help from your GP. At this stage they would just run some simple tests etc. I write as one who has been trying for years by the way!
    Unless you really trust your head I wouldn't tell them. At my previous school they knew and piled on the pressure until I left. My current head knows but I've gone down the IVF route which has involved time off from school.

  8. violingirl

    violingirl New commenter

    Having gone down IVF route I had to tell my boss. I found that although they were very kind and supportive, they regarded me differently and I felt I lost the privacy that 'normal' couples get, ie, noone knows they were trying until they announced at 12 weeks. If you can protect your privacy at this stage, I would keep it personal, until you have to disclose. But that's a decision only you can make. Good luck.

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