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Should I leave?

Discussion in 'New teachers' started by n_q_t, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. <font size="3">Should I leave teaching? Any help/advice would be very useful&hellip; </font><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font><font face="Calibri">I am an NQT in a secondary school, I retrained from another career. I completed my PGCE and started my first job in Sept 2011. Over the past year I have had so many personal problems that I was struggle to include them all in this post. The brief version is that it includes one death, one seriously ill person and a mental ill person who directed their anger towards me for the best part of 2 solid months. </font> <font size="3">I started my job in September thinking that I would be OK, that a fresh start would do me the world of good and that things were moving forward in my life after my difficult year. I had a shaky start, struggling to find everything I needed at the start of the term. My performance at work began to slip, I was struggling to get everything done (was massively behind on my marking) and spending all hours doing school work. Behaviour deteriorated in many of my classes to the point that it was all I could do to stay in the room (the noise was ridiculous, they refused to work, they refused to listen to any explanation of the work given, they thought any attempt at applying the behaviour management policy was a laugh) I came out of so many of my lesson feeling beaten up and rubbish at my job. It used to take a few hours at the end of the day to calm down and focus enough to motivate myself to start on the rest of my work when I got home. Many of my students have commented that they hate me and they want a better teacher.</font><font face="Calibri">The schools attempts at supporting me often felt more like continued criticism and that I could do nothing right as far as they thought either. I was so upset/shaken and generally down on my ability to do the job that half term was horrific- I could not relax and all I could think about is how bad I am at my job. I forced myself to go back after half term and did not last the week before concerned family members took me to the doctors. I was signed off, I was at the point that I honestly thought I should just quit. </font> <font size="3">I started a phased return to work this week and have been able to talk to the person who covered the majority of my lessons about what they have been doing and the classes in general. This made me realise why I was having problems with some of my classes. After being the target of someone&rsquo;s anger for a number of years, at its worse in the 2 months before I started the job, I tend to avoid angry people (I walk away or shut down). I have a low tolerance for anger directed towards me and by the end of half term I had whole classes of students directing that towards me. I hate confrontation. I don&rsquo;t get angry either. In some ways this was a strength in my last placement school- I was praised for my calm and quiet approach, but at my new school I really struggled. Now I am not sure whether I can do everything required of me, whilst being in such a hostile environment.</font>
     
  2. Sorry about the formatting- that did have paragraphs in it.
     
  3. Georgia99

    Georgia99 New commenter

    I am no expert but your post reflects that you have the mental scars of what you have experienced in the past and this is making it difficult for you to do your job. Teaching is difficult as a NQT as it is so for someone with past problems haunting them is going to amplify things.
    I am assuming that your GP has helped you and that you have access to counselling or other help?
    Try and keep the following things in mind
    <ol>[*]You secured a teaching post which you started in September in a very competitive job market. You must have shown the school true potential so you can do the job.[*]You successfully completed the PGCE, you would not have managed that if you did not have the potential to be a good teacher.[*]Despite your difficulties, you managed to cope with PGCE placements, collecting evidence for the Q standards and completing all of the assignments.</ol>I don't know anything about your background but the most important thing for you is to get the correct support to manage any physical, emotional or mental health difficulties that you are currently experiencing. Ensure the school are aware of your difficulties and that they are giving you the correct level of support as a NQT.
    And finally, it may be that the school is not right for you. It happens and you could work in another school and be really happy.
    Best wishes for everything.
     

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