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Should I be upset not to get anything for Mother's Day?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by FenellaF, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. FenellaF

    FenellaF New commenter

    I have had nothing this year, not even a card. My son hasn't wished my happy mother's day, and my husband made it very clear this morning that it had nothing to do with him as our son is now 13 and should be thinking about these things himself. As a last minute thought, hubby told me to find somewhere for tea and ring a book a table. I feel so upset at their lack of compassion. Am I over reacting??
  2. Crowbob

    Crowbob Senior commenter

    Your husband should be giving your son a stern talking-to. It is "something to do with him", as a parent, when your son is showing such a lack of respect.
  3. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    What happens on Father's Day? Do you arrange with your son beforehand and suggest things etc? Did you do that last year? Well I wouldn't do it this year.

    Also what does your son do on your birthdays?

    I think your son needs to be spoken to about being selfish - he wouldn't like it if you ignored his special days. And if anyone should book a table it should be your husband.

    In fact if this were me I wouldn't bother going - any meal out under these grudging circumstances would choke me - and tell them to get their own tea - go and visit a friend.
  4. JoJo37

    JoJo37 New commenter

    Hi Fenella really sorry to hear this hope you find somewhere nice for tea.
    I don't know but I too am upset. Been feeling ill for the past week but hubby is very insensitive to this (can't cope with me being ill). Son aged 20 came in from night out about 10.30 and was annoyed that I wasn't cooking a roast for my Mum, Dad and sister as was arranged due to feeling ill. He moaned he needn't have come then and it sucks. He went out yesterday to buy himself new trousers but forgot about Mother's Day. He hung around for a while being insulting and then went off to bed.
    I've got the kitchen to sort out and the weeks ironing, not feeling at all well. Also there's very little foo in the house as I've not been shopping.
    Hope things improve for you.
    At least I have a daughter who made me a cup of tea and wished me a happy Mother's Day.
  5. Oh no! Happy mother's day to you all even if I'm not your daughter! Is it a boy thing? JoJo you must stay in bed! Having MD ignored is bad enough but don't make it worse by slaving round after the ungrateful so-and-sos! Let them get a KFC.
  6. FenellaF

    FenellaF New commenter

    Thanks everyone, I might go out with a friend tonight and leave those 2 to fend for themselves. Poor you Jojo, aren't men gits? I'd be a lesbian, only I don't fancy women x
  7. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    Well he wants a rocket too!!

    My younger son is studying and has virtually no income but even he managed a card, a bunch of daffs from Tesco and some pretty gardening gloves - what could be nicer?

    Honestly Fenella and JoJo I think you should look after yourselves today as no B***er else seems like they're going to.

    And next time it's expected that you do something for these selfish boys I would NOT do it and echo their words back to them if you can "I needn't have bothered and it sucks" spring to mind.

    JoJo is there nobody else who can iron or sort out the kitchen - or do shopping? I think you and your daughter should have a girly afternoon - and maybe a takeaway.
  8. They are thoughtless but probably don't me any offence. They will follow your example so get yourself down to the supermarket, buy a big old bouquet of flowers and some sticky buns for the tea that they will make because you will tell them to.
    Don't brood on it. I'm a bit iffy myself with dates on things like this.
  9. JoJo37

    JoJo37 New commenter

    Hi Fenella, yes that's not an option for me either lol.
    Just feel really sad at what I've managed to raise, he was a sweet baby and little boy at one stage, just don't know what's happened.
  10. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    But I am sure that having been reminded you would say "Oh sorry" and rush about making amends.

    Fenella -send them to the supermarket for flowers and buns - or better still do what you suggested yourself and go out with a friend.
  11. Crowbob

    Crowbob Senior commenter

    Not all of us, no [​IMG]
  12. FenellaF

    FenellaF New commenter

    Sorry Crowbob! I'm sure you're lovely! x
  13. Dragonlady30

    Dragonlady30 Star commenter

    Hormones-the selfish ones that strike at about his age.
  14. I don't believe in Mother's day, neither did my lovely Mum. she always said that if a child didn't show affection the rest of the year, why bother on Mother's day. We had a fantastic relationship and as a child I'd often buy her a plant or flowers during the year. It always used to upset her the way the price of flowers went up for Mother's day .
    I have 3 sons and we have never done anything for it. I know that they love and respect me, I don't need a card or overpriced flowers to prove it. When I had a major operation a few years ago, they were there for me.

    Enjoy your children and don't get upset about it, I'm sure your son thinks the world of you and just hasn't got sucked in by all the commercialism.
  15. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    What she said.
    It's another Hallmark day IMO - it's not like we're in service and need time off to visit our mothers.
  16. catmother

    catmother Star commenter

    It looks like those so called special days exist to make people feel bad! Feel bad is you're not having a fantastic Christmas,complete with a great big house full of family and friends. Feel bad if you don't get 50 red roses and a diamond on Valentine's day. Feel bad if your birthday doesn't involved a big great party. Feel bad if your life is not like a tv ad.
  17. kittylion

    kittylion Established commenter

    That's great if it's something you have all agreed on - but I don't think that is the case here. Fenella and JoJo are obviously upset. It is important to them.

    In any case Mothers' Day is not the same as Mothering Sunday. They are on different dates. IMO Mother's Day is "Hallmark" day whereas, as I understand it, Mothering Sunday is on the Christian calendar as the 4th Sunday in Lent and its origin is different. The US Mother's Day is usually in May.
  18. I agree he should be thinking about these things himself especially if he knows it upsets his mum when he forgets. What struck me though was Fenella's husband's reasoning but only because it struck a chord with me.
    We have one daughter (unable to have more) and hubby declared that at the age of 16 (when daughter was at her most stroppy towards me) she was all grown up and entitled to each and every one of her opinion/s. When she was cheeky (towards me) at the table he wouldn't say a word. If I asked for his backup he said guess what ...... 'it's between the two of you, it's nothing to do with me.'.
    Of course it was to do with him. It was his job to make sure that his daughter was brought up in such as way as to respect both her parents but he just couldn't see it. For him respect had to be 'earned' - obviously I wasn't earning it.
    It's very dangerous ground and has in many ways spoiled my relationship with my daughter.
    Hubby's best friend tried to encourage him to see sense but it was wasted on him. He had a very strange upbringing so lacked any role model himself.
    I hope that never happens to you.
  19. Fenella and Jojo, I'm so sorry your children forgot mothers day. I woke up a little down this morning not being with my mum for such a day. My brother (who's 18) remembered and bought a huge bunch of flowers, a box of her fave chocolates and a card from both of us apparantly, but it doesn't feel the same. I rung her too.
    My mum said she didn't want anything as it's her birthday tomorrow and I've spent a fortune on her birthday present (as has my brother and dad) and I'm a student, but I could never forget, it's hard no to when every shop is advertising it! I think you're children need to be taught a lesson.
  20. JoJo37

    JoJo37 New commenter

    Hi it's not that I wanted a huge bunch of flowers or massive card. It's rather I'm upset by his lack of care, being cross that I'm ill and can't cook the roast and have everyone round. If he'd said sorry you've been feeling poorly can I do anything to help I'd have been over the moon.
    Just don't know where this lazy, selfish, rude adult has come from that is living in my house.

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