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Share your funny Christmas jokes!

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Over_the_hill, Dec 9, 2019.

  1. Over_the_hill

    Over_the_hill Star commenter

    @blazer’s amusing Ofsted thread inspired
    me to start a new one to share any funny Christmas memes/jokes you can find!
    This should keep our spirits up until the end of term. Please join in! E7B18EBA-71CB-40C7-9F2D-5B348073B7AB.jpeg D26E7341-340B-4295-9883-19067C2BDE83.jpeg B241BDB7-FB9A-4110-8853-9D23B810728F.jpeg 67FEB7F1-7000-46C0-B34B-C7F9A35A3430.jpeg
     
  2. BertieBassett2

    BertieBassett2 Star commenter

    Why did no one buy Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?
    They were two deer...
     
  3. Bedlam3

    Bedlam3 Star commenter

    Why will your Christmas dinner be worse after Brexit?

    No Brussels.
     
  4. gainly

    gainly Lead commenter

    It was nearing the end of the infants' nativity play and three little boys entered playing the three kings.

    ‘I am the King of the North,’ said one little boy, kneeling before the manger and laying down a brightly wrapped box. ‘I bring you gold.’

    ‘I am the King of the South,’ said the second, kneeling before the manger and laying down a large coloured jar. ‘I bring you myrrh.’

    ‘I am the King of the East,’ said the third and smallest child, kneeling before the manger and laying down a silver bowl. ‘And Frank sent this.’
     
  5. RepelloInimicum

    RepelloInimicum Lead commenter

  6. RepelloInimicum

    RepelloInimicum Lead commenter

  7. RepelloInimicum

    RepelloInimicum Lead commenter

  8. dumpty

    dumpty Star commenter

    What says 'Oh! Oh! Oh!' ?

    Santa walking backwards.
     
    mathsmutt, MissKitCat, colpee and 2 others like this.
  9. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

  10. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

  11. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

  12. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

  13. sbkrobson

    sbkrobson Star commenter

    I have this unusual talent whereby I can always identify what is inside a present without actually unwrapping it.
    It's a gift.
     
    mathsmutt, sodalime, nomad and 5 others like this.
  14. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?

    Carbon footprints.


    What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite game to play over the festive period?

    Guess Who
     
  15. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

    He felt his presents!
     
  16. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Why did the orange take a plum to the Christmas party?

    He didn’t have a date!
     
  17. blazer

    blazer Star commenter

    Jesus wasn't born in Birmingham because they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin!
     
  18. Jamvic

    Jamvic Star commenter

    I daren’t ‘like’ this. :D
     
    mathsmutt, sodalime, blazer and 2 others like this.
  19. BertieBassett2

    BertieBassett2 Star commenter

  20. Duke of York

    Duke of York Star commenter

    I bought all my Christmas presents in October to get it out of the way before the Christmas rush. I hope everyone is pleased with their Halloween costumes.
     

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