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sexual misconduct

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by RaymondSoltysek, Oct 13, 2011.

  1. First of all I am so sorry about what happened to you and the way that it was handled, it was and is unacceptable. Unfortunately I too have had a very similar experience both with a student and with my SLT. 3 Years ago I formally complained to both the police and the school about a student who was sexually inappropriate in his behaviour and the way he spoke to me both in and outside of school. He was suspended for a week, warned by the police and i refused to teach him. He was also a bright young man whose potential to do well shone through even his threatening side. However, a year later his threatening behaviour escalated and he began to follow me in the school, make sexual comments in my passing and even physically blocked me from leaving a room. I informed SLT formally...they assured me that they would handle it and that no police complaint was necessary. They took the approach of a 'man to man' chat because 'sometimes boys like girls.' I was feeling increasingly threatened by the student who remained in school without suspension and the feedback i recieved was that 'he had been spoken to.' Other staff began to come forward with their own complaints of his sexual inappropriacy and these were allegedly "handled" by the SLT. Unfortunately after 3 years of this boy being lightly slapped on the hand for his sexual misconduct, he began stalking me outside of school. The police are involved and the SLT have remained quiet on the issue.
    My advice would be to go to the police in the first instance! I believe that things have gotten as bad as they have because they were not dealt with the appropriate severity. I would also inform your Union. The action from SLT would be VERY different if these accusations were the other way around. As sad as it is I would advise you not to trust that your SLT has your best interest at heart. Do whatever it takes to make sure that you feel safe in your work place, your safety should be a top priority. If his behaviour continues and gets worse at least you will have it on police record. There is NO way that you should be going to work feeling sexually threatened by a student. Your response may give courage to other staff members or girls in the school to come forward with their stories too. This is too serious to keep quiet. Best of luck!
  2. RaymondSoltysek

    RaymondSoltysek New commenter

    But you are ignoring the fact that the victim - the OP - wants a resolution conflict meeting to confront the boy - regardless of any other action taken to prevent this boy sexually predating anyone else.
    It is disingenuous of you to call what the confrontation the OP wants "sweeping it under the carpet" - it is absolutely not because she wants to tackle it face to face, and it demeans her request for a measure of self-esteem and control for it to be characterised it as such.
    Why does everyone imagine this young woman having the guts to face down her tormentor is "sweeping it under the carpet"?
  3. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    The voice of experience there, says it all. Many thanks Jmohler.
  4. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    So now you changed your stance from mutually exclusive to more than one response?
    Is that everyone except you Ray?
    You don't seem to know what the phrase "face down" means Ray.
    She has already had a face to face encounter with the student. Your thinly veiled aggression is showing through here.
    Why should what one member of staff wants dictate how the school responds to a serious potential threat to younger females? You have still not addressed this point.

  5. Belthazor

    Belthazor New commenter

    What?! Seriously Raymond, why don't you try reading posts/statements before passing comment on what people have said? And actually try understanding what people are saying?
    1.) I am not ignoring the fact that the OP wants a resolution conflict meeting. How did you infer that? If the OP chooses to have/not have one in order to empower them and boost self-esteem that is entirely upto that person. Based on the nature of the incident additional, more serious action needs to be taken afterwards. And I'm going on what I've witnessed in the past, how the incident has been described, and comments from others on this thread.
    2.) Did I actually call the desired action of the OP "sweeping it under the carpet"? Where? Again, putting words into other people's mouths. It is disingenuous of you to do so. If further action is not taken by SMT or the police then the incident is being swept under the carpet given the nature of the incident, and the tone of what the pupil said. Maybe I had to explicitly spell that out for you.
    3.) Your last sentence/comment doesn't make any sense.
    At first I thought afterdark was being unreasonable in his comments towards you, but now I understand his/her point as you seem to continually put words into peoples' mouths, unfairly infer opinions, and claim they are saying things they are not!
    To the OP - take the action you feel you need to in order to re-establish the teacher-pupil boundaries. What the pupil said/did is totally out of order, and you have not done anything wrong whatsoever. Make sure the pupil knows this, and don't feel pressured not to get the police involved as incidents like this have the potential to seriously snowball into things more serious. Hope it all works out.

  6. I'm interested in this approach to the problem as it considers possible causes. To me that infers the possibility of prevention as well.
    I am not a teacher, but am well aware of the prevalence of anti-social behaviour and how insidous and threatening it can be.
    I would greatful if you could direct me to any resources you may be aware of that deal with this sort of situation in the manner you are suggesting, including anything that considers the root causes.
    Kind regards and best wishes.
  7. RaymondSoltysek

    RaymondSoltysek New commenter

    I think if you read the posts as quoted above, it's fairly clear
    that you were indeed suggesting that my call for a resolution
    conflict as requested by the OP did amount to "sweeping it under
    the carpet": in your support of Mr L, you give no indication
    that you had read my post 30, a position that is almost almost
    identical to your own:

    RS, post 30: "Any action taken over and above that
    would be what the SMT wants; for example, they may wish to take
    action to restore the system and ethos of the
    school as a whole. I didn't say that what the OP wants is the only
    action which should be taken, but it should be taken for her benefit"

    This would suggest that you haven't read my posts, which makes
    your accusation that I haven’t read your posts somewhat odd.

    It is a further oddity that, despite unwittingly subscribing to my point of
    view, you should actually attack me and side with afterdark – whose
    only virtue is being consistently unreasonable.

    Still, attack me if you want – as long as you acknowledge that
    the OP should be accorded whatever means she requires to restore her
    self-esteem, a position that puts you in direct opposition to
    afterdark and Mr L.

  8. Belthazor

    Belthazor New commenter

    Oh for God's sake Raymond, stop justifying your ineptitude to understand what people are quoting. You're just confusing yourself, and by the way, misquoting people AGAIN (see post 71, I didn't say that stuff - you did)!
    You've also failed to discuss relevant points brought up by various people in this thread (not just by afterdark, Mr. L or myself) - that when pupils who are involved in incidents of this nature are not dealt with seriously they go on to commit more serious acts. We can actually speak from experience having encountered pupils like this who then go on to commit more serious acts having not been dealt with seriously ealier on, whilst people like yourself can liberally support them from the safety of your cosy environment.
    I HAVE read your posts, and DO NOT agree with your viewpoint - the OP should be given the support and freedom she needs, but RJ is simply not enough given the nature of the pupil's actions. People like you are "sweeping the incident under the carpet" as you believe RJ is the be all and end all of Behaviour Management. You simply said further action is the decision of SMT, not what you personally would choose. Further action should not just be taken for the benefit of the OP, but for the benefit of all females within the school. What if the pupil in question then went on to rape a female pupil/teacher as further action had not been taken earlier? But it's ok - if you were in SMT, and a more serious incident happened later you would probably stick your head in the sand and blame some poor Classroom Teacher in order to pass the buck.
    P.S. I haven't sided with afterdark (yet another incorrect assumption by yourself), I stated that I understood their frustration given that you read what you want to and misquote people - which you've done yet again. And no doubt that you'll once again ignore and fail to take in the points from my second paragraph.
  9. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    Re post 69
    I'm glad that someone else has stated this.
    Ray is very good at making spurious accusations and playing the victim. Ray is usually doing exactly what he is criticising others for doing even when they aren't.

  10. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    Your anti teacher stance now shines through Ray. No wonder you have such an irrational support for RJ. You must therefore be connected to the current govenrment as well. Is this not true Ray?

  11. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    post 80
    But that doesn't fit in as nicely with Ray playing the victim where he sees himselfas the lone voice of reason.
    Belthazor try looking at some older thread to see just how barking Ray really is

    Ray, to have to hand it to Belthazor, he has got very good handle on you, very quickly.
  12. I noticed that about Ray very quickly too. He is completey intellectually dishonest, frustratingly so!
    I think the idea is to disagree with what you haven't said, so while you get annoyed and/or distracted by his dishonesty you forget the original point you were making that he doesn't address.
    He did this with me: (post 10).

    "Of course, you may claim that the student or staff may be lying: I tend to trust their professionalism."
    This put me off from visiting here, which should be a good place to discuss behavioural strategies and ideas that people have found work for them, who may be in similar schools. Raymond is doing his best to ruin this forum.

    I, too, wondered why so many people seemed so rude to him when I first came here. Now I know - and realise he's the bully that puts student teachers off posting on here. A shame.
  13. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    Yes, a distinct lack of intellectual integrity.
    I find post 10 by Ray most telling:
    Here Ray acknowledges that he can/will not admit that he is wrong.
    I quite agree. Hear! hear!
    He does seem to try and twist whatever people say. I find his posts rather childish. There is a very negative anti-teacher undertone to his posts.
    Check out this link
    The Raymond piccy here looks very different to the TES one.
    I wonder if Strathclyde uni would condone his posts on this forum. If I were in charge of the uni I would censure him. That would be Professor Anthony McGrew, the dean of the faculty. That right Ray?
  14. This thread is another sad example of why a lot of people, including myself, seldom bother any more to read, let alone contribute to, this forum. There are a tiny handful of sensible posters, such as Raymond and Zadok, who get descended on by a small but highly vocal group of 'behaviour crisis' zealots and personally targeted in a very unpleasant way. I don't suppose that any impartial reader is taken in, but it's an unsavoury spectacle nevertheless.
  15. afterdark

    afterdark Lead commenter

    What is sad is your denial of a very real problem, which is made rather disturbing given that the topic of this thread is sexual misconduct.
  16. I do not deny the existence of 'real problems', afterdark, what I do is seek sensible and progressive real-world solutions to them in the context of the modern society in which we live and a realistic view of the relationship between that society and education. That is in contrast with you and a small number of other vocal posters who dominate this forum, who seem to exist in some fantasy of what they would like that society to be rather than what it actually is.
    What I do dislike strongly is the sort of personal vendetta that you and "WemAles" have conducted here against Raymond, one of the few excellent contributors, to the point where he seems no longer to be taking part. If that is so, it is a great shame. (And now it turns out that WemAles is not apparently what she seems, but a previous poster with a chip on his shoulder and an axe to grind.)
  17. Ah - more lies.
    I guess that's all you've got. Cling to your sad, pathetic beliefs. Better still, why not leave this forum to teachers who can support each other with real problems you deny happen. (See Jennqt's threaa - that was sickening).
    Not true again. I initially supported Raymond and queried the hard time he got. I agreed with him, until he was unnecessarily rude to me and was dishonest about me.
  18. Gary, don't be ridiculous, your little subterfuge has been caught out by your own carelessness. And I suppose it's pretty obvious if one looks at the content and style of the postings by "Wem" and the fact that she started on this forum at the time that "garyconyers" stopped. I begin to wonder now how many other of the contributors to the vendettas against people like Raymond may not be genuine, but the product of one or two multi-personality fantasists?
  19. YesMrBronson

    YesMrBronson New commenter

  20. BigFrankEM

    BigFrankEM Established commenter


    ALL the SMT/ management-guru/ nuSpeak adjectives in one fairly short sentence.

    I know:

    "You are Eric Blair and I claim my 10 pound Argosy gift voucher."

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