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Sexual Harassment - When is enough, enough?

Discussion in 'Personal' started by JosieWhitehead, Nov 3, 2017.

  1. delmamerchant

    delmamerchant Established commenter

    How does one relate the natural desire for intimacy with intelligence..strange! Or have I misread you?
  2. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    If a drunk had tried that with my Wife, I would be in jail now.
  3. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    In the light of what you've read, are you still going to approach random women in the street and offer your 'compliments'? Has this made you think twice?
    bombaysapphire and frangipani123 like this.
  4. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    If you choose to interpret what's being said in that way, that's up to you. No one said men should not go out walking alone when women are walking.
  5. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    You implied as much as did others.
    woollani likes this.
  6. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    That's your interpretation as I said. Your inference is down to you not anyone else. I don't believe anyone said or implied that men and women can't walk on the same streets at the same time.
  7. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

  8. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    I disagree
    And with that

    And that

    Nowhere have I seen anyone imply or state that all heterosexual males (or all males for that matter) are up to no good, strange or predatory.
    Nor have I see it suggested that men shouldn't walk at night.

    What I have seen is evidence that some men definitely are predatory (as are some women) strange and up to no good.
    Given that evidence and my own experiences over the years I can see why women exercise caution.
    If some people weren't strange, predatory or up to no good they wouldn't.
    But they are and women do :(
  9. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    I don't have post numbers on this device. Could you indicate which / what time that post is please?
  10. Lalad

    Lalad Lead commenter

    someone = male or female
  11. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    And I certainly haven't reported you @lexus300. I don't see any reason why I should have.
  12. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    Absolutely. If I heard steps close behind me I wouldn't be turning round to check whether they were male or female ones.
    bonxie likes this.
  13. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    This one Sooty
  14. lexus300

    lexus300 Star commenter

    Nice and safe, the way to go:(
    woollani likes this.
  15. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Lead commenter

    Thanks @Didactylos4. In that case @lexus300, you have certainly misinterpreted what I said.
  16. Dunteachin

    Dunteachin Star commenter

    I have no intention of reporting you. Show me where I've called you strange or evil. And I'm not an outraged feminist.

    What saddens me, is that not once have you said "ah, I didn't see how that could be misconstrued" or "I didn't realise women might think that". Every woman on here has said that compliments are welcome from men, in the right setting.

    You just don't get it, do you?
  17. Lalad

    Lalad Lead commenter

    Not looking after one's personal safety - is that the way to go?
  18. chelsea2

    chelsea2 Star commenter

    Why are you taking this personally, Lexus?

    All people have done on here is describe their personal experiences. If that makes some people stop and think twice about how their behaviour to the opposite sex may cause problems then isn't that good?

    Why are you labelling people who have clearly been upset by unwanted sexual advances a 'band of outraged feminists' with a 'hysterical reaction based on a small number of high profile sexual predators'? I would suggest what you are reading is the exact opposite - showing the casual, unthinking way in which many 'ordinary' men have behaved without any recognition of their effect on the women concerned.

    It feels to me that the cork has been pulled on a fizzing bottle of hurt & angry memories of past experiences that have long been repressed, so at the moment they are flying everywhere. To mix my metaphors, the boil is in need of lancing.

    For the record, I have been horrified by what I have read, and feel very lucky that I have experienced few of the behaviours described. The only one which bothered me is when I was pinned against the wall by a member of staff from another school during a residential trip in the 1980s. I managed to slip out of his 'embrace', and told only my fellow member of staff. Now I was in my 20s at the time, and lacked confidence then to know how to deal with the situation, so I can fully empathise with other young women who struggle to know how to deal with such incidents.

    Can you not put yourself in women's shoes (especially young), Lexus, and see the situation through their eyes? Or, if that is too difficult, imagine if you were hearing these stories from your wife or daughter or granddaughter. Would you still respond in the same way: 'outraged feminist....hysterical reaction'?
    frangipani123, Noja, InkyP and 5 others like this.
  19. secretsiren

    secretsiren Star commenter

    There's a reason why the chap I was with wasn't my boyfriend for much longer afterwards. He almost kind of agreed with said drunk bloke in order to get rid of him.

    I think you should re-read the stories on here by multiple different women. There is a reason why we'd mostly cross the road if a stranger was walking behind us on a dark night - experience. Not all men are predatory and no one has said that. No one here is being an 'outraged feminist' (although I strongly dislike the implication here that 'feminist' must mean 'hysterical over-reaction') - experience of being objectified has taught us that walking in front of a stranger might, on occasion, lead to inappropriate comments, touching or something worse.

    And this is not a hysterical over-reaction based on the small number of high profile cases - it is a valid response to multiple events over the course of a lifetime from ordinary women. I might tut at the Harvey Weinstein case and have sympathy for his victims, but I also tense up when passing a group of young lads outside because of my OWN experiences. This is not a one-off. This is not an over-reaction. This is pervasive behaviour that has happened to the majority of women in their lifetimes.
  20. Didactylos4

    Didactylos4 Star commenter

    I take exception to what I perceive to be the implication there Lexus
    Perhaps you'd like to expand on it just so I don't misunderstand
    Noja likes this.

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