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Seperation anxiety after being ill - help!!

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by fineline pen, Feb 21, 2012.

  1. Im hoping someone out there can help me!
    I have a 10 month old baby boy who has never been a great sleeper but recently he caught the rotavirus bug and we ended up in hospital for 4 days whilst he recovered. Since coming out he won't leave me alone, which i totally understand but the night times are becoming unbearable.
    I breastfeed him at bedtime, following our usual routine and put him down in his cot, but literally within seconds he is screaming the place down. Im afraid ive resorted to putting him back on my breast till he falls asleep. All well and good until he wakes an hour later and starts screaming the place down again, he calms down when he sees me but as soon as i leave he starts crying again. I've tried a bit of cc but his cry is more of a howl and i just cant do it, he tends to get even more worked up anyway and i find myself crying. Last night i was up with him every hour until he decided to properly wake up for 4 hours before he finally fell asleep for an hour!
    I only started back at work last week too so feel so tired and run down, already had to take a day off and dread what he'll be like for my mum tomorrow when i go back to work.
    Has anybody got any tips? i seem to be getting conflicting reports about what to do.
  2. Try not to get to stressed by it all! I remember going back to work after having my son and I felt so guilty and that he would not be happy unless he was with me,which of course was not true. I also had a terrible sleeper but in the end I had to sleep train him otherwise I was going to loose the plot! If you can't stand the crying, try standing away from the cot, so you can reassure him, then gradually move away. The key is to try and get him to fall asleep by himself not with you. It's hard work and may take a few days but he will gradually get used to it and learn to settle himself. I am no expert but one thing I have learnt is to be the boss otherwise they will always have the upper hand! I also found a simple routine every night helped to get him down, bath, milk in his room and bed. Good luck ! ;)
  3. hhhh

    hhhh Star commenter

    Am guessing he is fed from a bottle when you're at work (otherwise you have a very generous boss!) I would suggest you try to use the bottle as I found when breastfeeding that my baby was more 'clingy' to me as obviously no one but me did that. When fed from th bottle, either expressed or powdered milk, it didn't have to be me, so baby was happier, and I don't know if this may help? I wouldn't worry about co sleeping. Lots of people do this when their baby-or even 6 year old! is ill. Not great for a marriage if you do it all the timebut needs must. Of course do be careful if you are a heavy sleeper who may roll onto him. When I had a similar thing going on with an 8month old, I put her in a 'safety' bed, like those smasonaite things, mayy have been a snuggle nest? Can't remember, but the point was she was in my double bed and I could see her while not having to worry about rolling.
    As for your mum, is there someone who can be there to support her? Even just fr a bit? Looking after a suffering kid can be even worse for a grandparent, and f cours eyou will be worrying too. I wish I could have afforded not to work, lots of sympathy as it's horrible being a wrking parent when they're ill.
  4. Mum going back to work is a major upset for a baby, and having been ill it must only be more so. Icompletely recommend co-sleeping. I did this for months when I went back to work and lo wanted boobs all night long. I personally felt for us the best way was to go with what she needed at the time which was reassurance with mummy. For about 6 months we had her in our bed from when we went to bed (around 10/11pm), and she would latch herself on so I didn't have to wake up too much. I find it much more tiring having to get out of bed and go through to her room etc.
    Try not to worry about what he will be like for your mum. He will probably cry for a bit when you leave, but from experience with both my girls they stopped fairly soon after they couldn't see me and there were fun things going on. Mine also prefer it if they leave me rather than me leaving them, so if they went out for a walk with grandad they didn't really care that much that I wasn't there when they got home. My dad did lots of 8am walks to feed the ducks when I first went back to work after dd1.

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