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Separation anxiety at 12 weeks?

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by goonergirl2009, Jan 5, 2011.

  1. goonergirl2009

    goonergirl2009 New commenter

    Hi ladies!
    On Sunday, I visited my sister with my baby girl. I carried Charlotte to my sister's front door and my sister took her in while I went to get her bag from the car. I must have been gone for one or two minutes maximum but my daughter got very upset while I was gone. I calmed her down when I got to the house but since then she has become upset every time I have left the room/ her with someone else- even if she is with her daddy or her Grandparents.She has never done this before.
    Has anyone any advice on how to tackle this?
    She has only been without me once for three hours since she was born and I am beginning to worry that I have caused a real problem by previously having her with me always and by suddenly 'abandoning' her for a few minutes!
    When she gets upset is it best to leave her with whoever she is with to soothe her so she gets ised to it or to go back so she knows I am still there? Is she old enough to have been affected by it or is it just a phase that babies go through?
    Thanks in advance for any advice!
    x
     
  2. goonergirl2009

    goonergirl2009 New commenter

    Hi ladies!
    On Sunday, I visited my sister with my baby girl. I carried Charlotte to my sister's front door and my sister took her in while I went to get her bag from the car. I must have been gone for one or two minutes maximum but my daughter got very upset while I was gone. I calmed her down when I got to the house but since then she has become upset every time I have left the room/ her with someone else- even if she is with her daddy or her Grandparents.She has never done this before.
    Has anyone any advice on how to tackle this?
    She has only been without me once for three hours since she was born and I am beginning to worry that I have caused a real problem by previously having her with me always and by suddenly 'abandoning' her for a few minutes!
    When she gets upset is it best to leave her with whoever she is with to soothe her so she gets ised to it or to go back so she knows I am still there? Is she old enough to have been affected by it or is it just a phase that babies go through?
    Thanks in advance for any advice!
    x
     
  3. All babies go through a phase (many phases) of seperation anxiety and it is perfectly normal but the thing that will bring them through it is to know that their mother is there. It isn't a case of your baby learning to be soothed by others in order for you to be able to leave them. Babies become happier to be apart from the parent the more secure they are that the parent will return. If your child is upset when you leave them then do what you have to do (you wouldn't be leaving them at all if you didn't have to) but go back as soon as you can and comfort them. Practice of being away from you does help but only because each time you return they become more secure that you always will.

    Don't stop yourself from being with your child because this will only add to the issues. The closer you keep them when they are small the further they will stretch their wings as they grow.



     
  4. My LO went through a stage like this not too long ago [he is 19 weeks]. He would scream if anyone held him and if I left the room. It didn't last, I carried on as normal and I think he has realised now that I come back if I leave. He has even had a sleepover with his grandparents. He isn't bothered at all now! She will grow out of it in her own time. In the mean time, carry on doing what you're doing and don't worry about it affecting her, it won't.
     
  5. Hi. My oldest had this from about 3 months and would cry whenever I left the room. I tried to 'solve' the problem by going into another room but singing or talking to him so he knew I was still there. This helped a little (but not completely). It takes time for babies to understand that you haven't disappeared when you leave them, even for a few minutes. I think in time she will be absolutely fine and happy to see you when you return. If my son hadn't got over it, I'd never have gone back to work and we'd be living in a box on the street!
     

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