1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Hi Guest, welcome to the TES Community!

    Connect with like-minded professionals and have your say on the issues that matter to you.

    Don't forget to look at the how to guide.

    Dismiss Notice

separating abroad...

Discussion in 'Teaching overseas' started by BonAmi, Mar 22, 2012.

  1. Back in December, my wife and me applied for positions. Although we applied as a teaching couple, we always said (when asked) that we would still consider schools that could offer a job to only one of us. Fast forward two months later and my wife and me very amicably but very definitely parted ways. We know from inside sources that we are about to receive job offers from two schools, one being my dream school and the other being my ex wife's. If it happens, I will say yes to the school I am interested in, and my ex will say yes to the one she is interested in. But we also know that the job offers may have been prompted by our teaching couple status.

    To the SMTs on this board, what would be your reaction if you had an email informing you that only one half of the teaching couple you wanted to hire is available? If my dream school doesn't offer me a position in the end (unlikely but still at this stage possible), I would accept the job from school B (my ex wife) but would have to inform the Head that we are no longer together and therefore will be requiring two different accommodation allowances. Again, how would SMTs on this board feel about that?
     
  2. Back in December, my wife and me applied for positions. Although we applied as a teaching couple, we always said (when asked) that we would still consider schools that could offer a job to only one of us. Fast forward two months later and my wife and me very amicably but very definitely parted ways. We know from inside sources that we are about to receive job offers from two schools, one being my dream school and the other being my ex wife's. If it happens, I will say yes to the school I am interested in, and my ex will say yes to the one she is interested in. But we also know that the job offers may have been prompted by our teaching couple status.

    To the SMTs on this board, what would be your reaction if you had an email informing you that only one half of the teaching couple you wanted to hire is available? If my dream school doesn't offer me a position in the end (unlikely but still at this stage possible), I would accept the job from school B (my ex wife) but would have to inform the Head that we are no longer together and therefore will be requiring two different accommodation allowances. Again, how would SMTs on this board feel about that?
     
  3. wrldtrvlr123

    wrldtrvlr123 Occasional commenter

    Welcome to TES.
    It will all end in tears.
    Other than that, no great insights. I would presume that schools would not be inclined to hire a newly separated couple, as schools are prone to drama at the best of times.
    As for your school still being interested in you alone, that could depend on many factors. Is your field a high needs position? Does your wife's absence leave them with a huge problem? Will they feel they can still find a couple to fill both positions, or can they re-shuffle to some extent?
    Our distinguished school leaders can answer better, but I will stick to my view about tears in the end. [​IMG]

     
  4. SMT dude

    SMT dude New commenter

    Well said. The real life events I have witnessed and been involved with, render quite superfluous all those soap operas set in Mexico, Brazil or the dingier streets of Manchester and London.
    No, we have made some funky appointments but that would be a (broken) bridge too far.
    If it were just <u>one</u> half of the separated couple, then I suppose we'd say that half a loaf was better than none.
     
  5. If you have inside sources at the two schools, wouldn't they be in a better position to advise you?
     
  6. Mainwaring

    Mainwaring Established commenter

    I'm with the Dude on this one. On a related topic, I've known couples who went to teach abroad to 'fix' a faltering marriage. It doesn't work and the impact on the school is disastrous.
    Me applied? I hope you're extracting the grammatical urine but alas I rather doubt it.
     
  7. Thanks for the replies and...
    aplogies for the grammatical monstruosit&eacute;.
    I wasn't clear in my intial post. School A will actually only offer the job to me, so I think they won't mind that much that I separated as it doesn't change much for them. I was more concerned about school B, and whether they would withdraw the job offer to my ex wife. From what SMTDude is saying, they might still keep the offer on the table for her.
    In that situation, no.
     
  8. Some on here must know more than me about the West African school where the Head and Bursar were a married couple who then went through a messy break up with the school caught in the middle. Interesting scenario from what I heard at the time.
     
  9. MisterMaker

    MisterMaker Occasional commenter

    In answer to the above, it depends on how much the school(s)I liked you both.
    Some couples of been hired on the strength of one of the partners and the other has only been offered a post because they are part of an inseparable pair. If you were the 'hanger on' in the offer, you may find that the school will retract their offer if you ex isn't accepting the post.
    On the otherhand, if you were both equally capable (rare) then the school will still need to know, as they may have been calcualting their requirement on you being a two for one, rather than as a single.
    Inform the schools asap if they make / made an offer.
     
  10. SMT dude

    SMT dude New commenter

    There are at least three stories about 'couples' that I'm bursting to narrate, but...
    Something chastening happened here quite recently. I dashed off a story about an ex-colleague. Didn't really distort or embellish the truth, much, but played for a cheap laugh as usual.
    Couple of days later, the protagonist, who had come across the post and put two-n-two together, mailed to say that encountering this reminder of past disgrace had been upsetting, especially as such conduct was now firmly consigned to the past.
    This remonstrance was written in respectful sorrow, not anger, and caused a more than usually livid blush to mantle my sandpapery cheeks. Feverishly jabbing at the 'report abuse' link, I begged our godlike moderators to pull the thoughtless post.
    (writing a formal complaint about one's own callous stupidity is a bracing experience which I recommend to all SMT types here)
    It's now clear that unlike Mr Lovell and Captain M., I lack the huevos to describe in public all the extraordinary people and episodes relished ever since turning up in '77 at the forbidding doors of the University of London Institute of Education asking to be turned into a teacher.
    Those memories will vanish forever when the Great Umpire squints down the track and raises his gnarly finger at me. A matter for widespread relief.
     
  11. happygreenfrog

    happygreenfrog Occasional commenter

    Know a couple with a faltering marriage who nonetheless planned to retire overseas. She accepted a job whilst he concluded his business dealings pre-retirement before he planned to join her. She became depressed, during which she hardly covered herself in glory in the classroom, had countless sordid sexual encounters and sadly took her own life.
     
  12. the hippo

    the hippo Lead commenter Community helper

    I sometimes wonder what would have happened to our marriage if Mrs Hippo and I had not made the move into international education. Mrs H is Russian and in some ways she found it quite difficult to adapt to living in the UK, whereas we both were making a fresh start when we moved to Kenya in 1998. Well, it is now 2012 and we have many happy (and some not so happy) memories of Kenya, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Romania, the UAE and now Qatar. How she manages to put up with a silly old pachyderm like me is a great mystery. Anyway, I would definitely say that the trials and the tribulations of teaching in international schools are not so bad when you're married.
     
  13. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    Sh%t! Something similar happened to me recently as well although I'm not sure if the person actually did realise I was talking about him or not or if it just paranoia that is making me feel that he is being cool towards me.
    I was in passionate debate about my current pet topic, the teaching of writing in primary schools. and I related an anecdote (well more of a scathing remark than an anecdote I suppose) about a former MTeach student of mine who is currently at my base school.
    I didn't even think that he would ever see the comment, forgetting that he and my nephew are FB friends but he usually slaps me on the back whenever I see him at school and when I saw him last Friday he didn't even raise a smile and now I feel awful!
    As I do tend to have verbal effusion, I must be more careful!
     
  14. yasimum

    yasimum New commenter

    Was it you?

     

Share This Page