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Secondary science chool direct stress

Discussion in 'Trainee and student teachers' started by jadewilde88, Mar 8, 2020.

  1. jadewilde88

    jadewilde88 New commenter

    Hi there

    I'm on my second placement with school direct at the moment doing a science pgce via school direct. I've been doing well up until now despite having to travel upwards of 3 hours a day since September. After HT I went to another school and was shocked at how different it was. Although I expected this I'd come from a very supportive professional environment and I've been thrown into a different environment where everyone is competing to be the best teacher. Everyone is lovely but its very cliquey and everyone is talking behind eachothers backs all of the time so God knows what they've been saying about me. My confidence has been knocked and I've had very limited positive feedback. My last placement was full of positive feedback and I know my mentor really rated my teaching and hard work. This placement I've been thrown into teaching higher tier chemistry in which I havent seen since school 15 years ago. They have now agreed after a few struggled lessons to take me off of this and for me jsut to support. I feel like a complete failure at the moment and I'm not sure what to do. I've started to get anxiety I haven't been sleeping and its making me so depressed. I only have 3 weeks left of this placement but not sure how I can get through it. I took on this placement after I got out of an abusive relationship last year and felt that it was such a big achievement for me. I'm unsure as to whether this is just a blip and a bit of residual anxiety from what I went through last year or if I really am rubbish at my job. Im struggling with the constant negative feedback and criticism and csnt seem to pick myself up

    Any advice would be great
  2. VeronicAmb

    VeronicAmb Occasional commenter

    Well, they've taken a class off you because your inexperienced and don't have the subject knowledge. That's a good thing. It means less stress on you, which means you can put more energy into your other lessons. Every school is different. Just because you're having a difficult time now, doesn't mean you're a bad teacher. Your last placement proves this! I was speaking to a NQT who at her 1st school, taught A-level. She hated it because her subject knowledge wasn't there. But the good thing that came out of it, now in her 2nd school, she loves teaching the lower-end of the school and prefers it because that's what she's comfortable with. It's completely fine to feel this way. Even some experienced teachers don't like teaching A-level.

    Believe it or not, this is part of your training. Don't worry about who's saying what about who. In 3 weeks, it will not matter. If you can, ask to observe more teachers with classes similar and dissimilar to yours. Exposing yourself to a variety of classes and teaching styles will hopefully lift your confidence up a bit. When you start out as a trainee teacher, we all have a precise idea of what sort of teacher we want to be. But you won't be that teacher from the get go. It takes some hardships and battles to find your feet. And you will; with time, patience and perseverance.

    Spend your remaining time developing and strengthening your craft. It's also important to reflect on your own teaching. And one big tip (it's much easier said than done): do not compare yourself to qualified and experienced teachers. Most of them will know what they're doing. You're just at the beginning of your career. Focus on that, not theirs!

    Good luck!

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