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Sad and lonely - need someone to talk to . . .

Discussion in 'Health and wellbeing' started by mystique_scarlet2006, Feb 5, 2012.

  1. Sorry for the drivel that is about to ensue below, but I don't feel that I can be truly honest with any of my friends or family, so am hoping that people on here won't mind listening!
    I am 27 years old and am an English teacher with responsibility for whole school PSHCE in Birmingham. I am currently living at home due to money limitations.
    I have been at my current school for 3 years (currently in my 4th) and for the first time ever, my morale is so low, both in work and social commitments, and I don't know why!
    I never have any energy at work or home! I just about get by managing my classes on adrenaline, but as soon as I get home, I feel so tired that I put my head down on the pillow for a few minutes rest - and wake up 4-5 hours later. Despite this, I will still go back to bed for 6+ hours and get up the next morning feeling tired.
    Because of this, I get myself in a cycle where I take home urgent work to do, and as I fall asleep, I then wake up too late to get it done.
    I am also finding that I am getting what I can only describe as dull headaches more and more on a daily basis. These usually develop about 30 minutes to 1 hour after school has finished (sometimes they can start during the school day), and can be quite painful sometimes, and will only go if I take a strong painkiller or go to sleep.
    I am also finding myself to be very easily upset more than I used to be. Little sarky comments from other staff members that I would usually laugh off really get to me, although I never show it!
    It's the same at home. Today is my 27th birthday - and had planned with my mom and stepdad to go out for lunch. They asked me yesterday if I would mind not going out for lunch and getting a takeaway instead. This way, we wouldn't have to brave the weather, and they could carry on their DIY in the kitchen. They insisted it was my choice. My heart really wanted to go out, but my head said "make them happy and just stay in". Idiotically, I went with my head. I have now spent most of the day in tears regretting that decision - wondering why I just didn't think about myself for once.
    My head is all over the place - and I just need some advice. Is there something wrong with me? Or am I just being self-centred?

  2. rosievoice

    rosievoice Star commenter

    Go to see your GP. I believe you are unwell, chick. You don't seem self-centred to me, just burnt-out. Get yourself signed off until you are stronger. xx
  3. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    What does your doctor think?
  4. The thing is, I don't think I could stand being at home that much! My step-dad has recently been medically retired and is home 24/7 - his new hobby being DIY, and as he has just had recent heart surgery (well, it was in May 2011), he can't do everything himself!

  5. Haven't been, if I'm honest. As I have put on weight recently, I am just expecting him to tell me to lose weight and get on with it!
  6. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    So there's the issue of your health, and also your living arrangements. Do you HAVE to live there?
  7. With the weight, I am in a vicious circle. I get focused ona diet, have a bad day at work (as described in my 1st post) and then all I want to do is eat.
    I can't afford anywhere else at the moment - although I am saving!
  8. aw27

    aw27 New commenter

    Your doctor won't say anything like that. S/he will be concerned that your excessive sleeping is a symptom of depression, and will no doubt want to monitor it. I would imagine your headaches are anxiety related.
    Make an appointment go and speak to your doctor NOW!
    Look after yourself - it you don't deal with this now it will only get worse and you will end up physically ill and off work anyway.
  9. lilachardy

    lilachardy Star commenter

    Check your inbox too!

    ROSIEGIRL Senior commenter

    Def worth a check up.
    Lots of possibilities but it could be something as simple as anaemia - that made me really sleepy.
    You can get some advice about your general health and sleep patterns and take it from there. No point waiting!
  11. Torey

    Torey Occasional commenter

    Go see your GP. Tiredness, weight gain and headaches can all have physical causes and if not they can still help. Teacher support line would be helpful as well.
  12. I think the weight gain is self inflicted, even though I would like to say otherwise.
    I get into the cycle of starting to diet and be good - have a bad day at work, and then all I do is eat as a result.
  13. Get your thyroid function checked.
  14. You poor thing, you sound really down :eek:( Teaching is such a hard job, and family and friends don't really get it, despite you no doubt trying to explain things to them.
    If I were you, I would get myself to my GP and see about getting a prescription for some mild anti-depressants, as well as a referral to a counsellor. The anti-depressants might have a good short term effect but 'talking therapies' are best in my (limited, but real) experience. The excessive sleeping is a common sign of depression and so it could well be linked, especially if you feel stuck in a rut with your parents/home life, feel stressed at work and down about weight gain.
    I'm not a PE teacher, but nothing beats the endorphins you get through eating good food and exercising. Instead of going straight home from work with urgent work which doesn't get done, go straight from work to an exercise class or for a walk. I know the weather's cold and horrible but you get double the satisfaction from doing it cos a) you've done it and b) you've done it despite the weather!! This in turn will give you more energy (although initially you might feel more tired), and it'll also stop you from eating rubbish as you won't want to ruin your hard work (although a bit of dark choc is actually good for you anyway!)
    Do talk to your friends if you can, they might not understand but they'll be pleased you confided in them and will at least know you're feeling down.
    Ring that GP- they shouldn't judge, and if they do, get a new one.
    Hope you're feeling better soon, keep your chin up xxxx
  15. We share a Birthday so you must be a good person. I was a bit older, 40. I have been signed off for some time now. I tried returning and failed. I am on antidepresents, councilling and I have taken up meditation. This week I get to see a psychiatrist! They (the experts), think I am Bipolar. I get highs and lows. Here is my point - you have signs of depression. It does not go away. You need to talk ASAP. You are getting good advice here take it! Your work is not worth your mental health.
  16. IndigoandViolet

    IndigoandViolet New commenter

    My lovely, amazing Head of HR said to me when I took her my sick note for stress 'the good thing about being signed off for stress is that you're allowed to be seen out and about. Go outside and get some sunshine!'

    Being signed off for a few days doesn't consign you to being stuck at home. You can take a trip, spend days doing things you never get time to do and generally getting your head straight.

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