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Rock bottom

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by Nowheretoturn, Nov 22, 2015.

  1. Nowheretoturn

    Nowheretoturn New commenter

    I feel like my story is the same as so many others at the minute but I have a few questions I was hoping someone could help with. Sorry in advance for the rambling post.
    To try and be brief, I started at a new school as assistant ht in September and am simply not coping with the demands placed on me. My workload is out of control, I am due 2 observations this week (having already had 2 this half term), I am being asked to submit files for scrutiny constantly as well as emailing all planning to ht every week and on it goes.
    The result is I have become overwhelmed and am finding it difficult to even plan lessons never mind mark books. I am behind with everything and am sat here crying rather than work to get on top of things. I have had numerous emails from the ht this weekend requesting paperwork I haven't completed. I haven't slept properly in weeks and I just don't think I can do this anymore.
    I am considering selling my house and moving back to my parents- I am 42 ! Anything to not have to carry on, I can't do it anymore. I feel sick at the thought of tomorrow and I don't know what to do about it.
  2. CarrieV

    CarrieV Lead commenter

    Don't go in. Phone in sick and take yourself off to your GP. Then start looking for another post. The expectations sound impossible to manage, who on earth needs 4 observations in as many weeks!
  3. foxtail3

    foxtail3 Star commenter

    Make an appointment with the GP, take some time and plan your exit strategy.

    I wouldn't think about selling up just yet, but I would definitely think about a different job in a different school.

    Your head is probably piling his/her work on to you so he/she has time to spend doung pointless observations.
  4. anon8315

    anon8315 Established commenter

    I really feel for you.

    What's clear is that you aren't going to get anything done panicking as you are. Go and have a cup of tea and try to be calm.

    Then, write down everything you have to do. If there's anything you can do without causing yourself stress or anxiety, do so.

    Then I would email the head, explain you've done what you can but you are unwell. I'm never normally one to urge people to take time off but you do sound stressed and overwrought and like you need some time.

    Other posters will have more useful advice for you. But you must be a really good teacher to have got to the level you are now; you'll be snatched up by a nice school, I am sure x
  5. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    Go to your GP tomorrow. Your health has to come first.
  6. Nowheretoturn

    Nowheretoturn New commenter

    I know I need to go to the gp, aside from anything I can't function unless I start getting some sleep.
    The head is a really nice man who I know just wants the best for his school, I can't help feeling like I'm letting everybody down. The other teachers are all under the same amount of scrutiny and seem fine with it. I think I'm just so behind now and can't see how I can fix it so panic sets in and I do nothing.
    I have worked so hard and feel like I've given everything I could.
    What do I say when I phone the head? He's not going to be happy at all. I would imagine he'll ask for my planning and I haven't done it. I'm trying now as it's supposed to be emailed by 8pm, I'm just not in a good place and my brain won't function.
    Margarida8Santos likes this.
  7. Nowheretoturn

    Nowheretoturn New commenter

    And thank you for your kind responses, I live alone and hate to burden friends and family with my problems, plus it's difficult for them to understand as none are teachers.
    It's lovely to have people to talk to about it.
    Margarida8Santos likes this.
  8. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    I don't see how he can be a really nice man if he's unhappy about you being unwell and you do sound unfit to be at work.
  9. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    It's horrible if you live alone isn't it? Were you thinking of speaking to him today or tomorrow?
  10. Nowheretoturn

    Nowheretoturn New commenter

    It is horrible not having anyone here but it has helped posting on here.
    I should probably contact him today, at least to give him chance to arrange cover. I only have his email though so will still need to ring school tomorrow
  11. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    That makes things a bit easier. If you email today you can compose your thoughts and you can call school after knowing that he'll be aware of the situation.

    You can say that you're seeing the GP and will keep him informed.
  12. Nowheretoturn

    Nowheretoturn New commenter

    I will, I'm going to email him now I think. Thank you, I don't feel quite so much like I'm over reacting now!
  13. ilovesooty

    ilovesooty Star commenter

    Good. Keep posting - there's plenty of support here.
  14. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter

    You should definitely prioritise the GP...

    What about 'me' time? What do you have in your life aside from work that you enjoy? Walks? Exercise? Cinema trips? Hobby? If all you have is work then that will dominate your thinking.

    Do you have anything ahead to look forward to? Christmas is approaching? Family get together maybe?

    Also, you and your HT need to arrange that you aren't receiving e-mails from him at the weekend. It's the weekend ***, your time, not theirs. Work has finished. I know just saying that in modern UK education is the kiss-of-death but really, it is a perfectly reasonable thing to expect. It's called work/life balance.

    You say your head is a nice guy but his actions have you sat in tears at the weekend... don't sound so nice to me.

    Digital hugs either way!
    Margarida8Santos likes this.
  15. Flere-Imsaho

    Flere-Imsaho Star commenter

    You're not overreacting. You need some time to rest and recover.
    grumpydogwoman likes this.
  16. Nowheretoturn

    Nowheretoturn New commenter

    Thanks again.
    I have sent an email, didn't go into much detail but at least they know I won't be there tomorrow.
    I've known this was coming for a few weeks I suppose and I've really made an effort to exercise and take care of myself to try and feel better but it doesn't seem to have made much difference. I could probably do with getting a bit more of a life outside of work but not sure where I'd start. My friends all have young families and I don't really fit anymore. I'm not really close to my own family and I suppose loneliness isn't really helping my mental health right now.
    notsonorthernlass likes this.
  17. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

    You got a job as assistant HT. So you're good at either teaching or admin. Or both. Plus you have a good knowledge of all the latest BSH1T. Or they wouldn't have appointed you.

    They should not now be micro-managing you. You are 42 with (I imagine) plenty of experience and good references. Far too many observations. Good teachers don't turn bad overnight except when they're snowed under and ridiculous demands are placed upon them. Does this sound like you?

    The HT, if he had anything about him, would be backing off and letting you find your feet. Maybe he's a lovely guy but not a good manager. For which YOU should not have to pay the penalty.
  18. lanokia

    lanokia Star commenter


    Get yourself an avatar and avail yourself of personal!

    I know it isn't quite the same thing but lots of people on there are happy to chitchat about anything for as long as possible!

    As for getting a life... take a night class, go to a local dance session [ceroc? ballroom?], the gym, join a walking group... I could go on.
  19. grumpydogwoman

    grumpydogwoman Star commenter

  20. snowyhead

    snowyhead Lead commenter

    @lanokia it's good to know you've got to a good place now, too.:)

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