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return to work and workload stress

Discussion in 'Parenting' started by catzroolz, Dec 14, 2010.

  1. The title says it all really. I'm going back after Christmas full time. The school has failed an OFSTED since I went on maternity leave so there are procedures in place adding to the workload. two new courses have been added to my timetable, one of these courses is something that I don't teach and have never taught. I'm going to be working a million hours a week
    When am I going to see my daughter? The answer in my mind now is for 2 hours a day. One of the 2 days in a weekend. The other thing that might happen is I will get so stressed I'll make myself ill.
    How do other people get through this? How often do you see your children?
     
  2. I have 3 children, 4 year old twins and a 14 month old. Its hard, dont let anyone tell you its not. But you have to be really organised and focussed. I have a management remit on top of my teaching commitments and work full time - I have no choice. I leave the house at 6.15am every day so see the kids for 5 mins before leaving. I try to get home between half 4 and 5. So see them through teatime, bathtime, bedtime. Then do school work, house work, all the organising for the kids etc. I have found I am able to prioritise better now because I have less time to do things - both at home and in school. I used to be a really conscientous teacher but now I am a "good enough" teacher. I always feel guilty about the time or lack of time I spend with the kids but they seem happy - in fact you might find you are the only one who is upset! You will find a routine that works for you. I was really worried about returning to work this time but actually its just another phase in life, if you understand!
    Best of luck, and enjoy Christmas with your LO.
     
  3. I really sympathise, I find this really hard too. My solution is to make sure she has a strict bedtime (which she is very happy with) and do work after that. I don't take anything extra on, and do the minimum. Maybe that sounds unprofessional, but who thanks you for doing extra? I'm teaching my whole timetable in a completely new subject, and I won't deny it's stressful, but like lj says you will find a way of coping that works for you.
    I do know though it would be much, much harder if my OH wasn't so good around the house. I don't know about your family arrangements, but I have to work harder than my husband, so it only seems fair that he does his bit around the house too. He also does his fair share with our LO too. I also get him to make lots of the silly decisions that by the end of a day teaching I just can't do - what to have for tea, stuff like that. I sometimes feel it's those little things that might just push me over the edge!
    One of my friends swears by having a cleaner! One less thing to worry about. I have just stopped noticing the mess!
    Good luck, and enjoy the holidays. And be prepared for being off from school with a sick child - a lot! Hence the message in the middle of the day...
     
  4. DilysPrice

    DilysPrice New commenter

    I really feel for you I returned full time after child no,1. You do become very focussed! I think it's made me a better teacher as I empathise with parents and don't faff so much. As for seeing your child it'll work out, try and farm out jobs- if you can, I did my shopping online, got an ironing lady and bought a slow cooker- it all helps. I only did work when baby was in bed and prioritised tasks. Enjoy Christmas and don't worry, it'll seem impossible but isn't really.
     
  5. Thanks everyone
    its reassuring to hear about people who find a way to make it work!
    Still stressed but i need to focus on family life now its christmas time!
     
  6. Hello. I'm a mum of 2 (2 years and 4 months) and go back after Christmas as well. I'm incredibly lucky that my husband looks after the kids during the day but he's too busy to do housework (and we've always shared it so nothing's changed). I worked full-time from when my oldest was 4 months and will be working full-time as HoD in a core subject again this time. I hate the weeks before going back; I've been getting stress-related migraines for the last week and am having to take Kalms to help me sleep as otherwise I lie there, exhausted, and panic. It's actually better being back than it is waiting for it! You're busy and trying to get as much done as possible at school so you don't have to take it home.
    These are my tips for surviving:
    1) share the housework, get a cleaner or ignore it. I loathe housework and try to do one room a day (clean, hoover etc). My oldest tidies up his toys and Hubby helps. You can't worry about housework if you're working and raising children!
    2) do early-early at school rather than stay late. I get up at 6 (well, I did with my first and will do the same when I go back after Xmas), shower, dress, put on a dressing gown or jumper (so no surprise vomit on clothes!), get oldest son up at 6.45 (ish), put Weetabix in front of him, turn on CBeebies, attend to the baby (get up, cuddle, put on bottle for feed, dress for day) and go to work at 7.15am. I work solidly (through break and lunch) from 7.30-3.30pm - I'm doing my 8 hours - and go home as soon as possible. SLT know I get in early and as my work is never late or sub-standard, they don't frown on me going home early. Even if they did, I wouldn't worry too much. My children are more important than after-school activities. I do revision clubs etc during lunch.
    3) Mark, plan, prepare after the kids are in bed. Re-use resources, plans etc as much as possible to save time.
    4) When at home, don't even think about work until your baby's asleep. It's tough (especially if you've had a rotten day) but have a cuppa, cuddle your baby and let the cares wash away in the warmth and chubby gorgeousness of being a mum (chubby baby, not chubby you....)!
    5) Be organised. Pack your school bag the night before, make lists and prioritise. Do filing/checking emails etc over lunch or in any free time.
    6) DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. In a few years, your child will be at school and you may be able to do more extra-curricular stuff but, until you're happy with this, don't feel guilty. You don't get paid for it, most of the time you don't get thanked or acknowledged for it, and you will resent getting less time at home.
    Will be thinking of you after Xmas. Think of me too - I'll be having a blub on the way to work on the 5th with you!!!
     
  7. I'll join you too! Really not looking forward to leaving my son - i want to be the one who's there all the time. I'm back full time too. He'll be 7 months then and we'll have well and tryly run out of money!
    Thanks for the advice on this thread - i intend to follow it and learn to say 'no' a lot more.
    Good luck everyone!
     
  8. Good advice KStreet. I so wish I could get to work early but can't drop baby off at childminder's til 8 so am never in early enough. It's really hard Op but it can be done- I've accepted that this is life and i have to deal with it. Hope all goes well for you!
     
  9. rosa11

    rosa11 New commenter

    Hi!
    Hope your first days back at work haven't been too scary... I went back in September full-time as HoF of a big department after baby number 2 (now 11 months) and have a 3 year old. I found the first term pretty hardcore. Here is what I learnt
    1. Be mega organised - even to the extend of knowing what you and your brood will be wearing for the week
    2. Only iron what you'll need for the week
    3. Plan your meals - M&S and Tesco do loads of great deals on ready meals if that's your thing - keep food easy and nourishing. I make batches of meatball and pasta sauce for the freezer.
    4. Get a cleaner if you can - I have one for a 4 hours a month - not quite enough but she does do the bathrooms and 4 workshirts for OH and that's a start.
    5. 50/50 workload at home with OH. We have no family nearby so we have to share
    6. Laugh as much as you can - even with a touch of hysteria mixed in. Write the silly stuff they say and do in a book. Use your camera and camcorder as much as you can.
    7. Plan your week so that you can escape on the bell a couple of time and stay late a couple of nights - it's all about balance.
    8. Do as much online as you can
    9. Don't beat yourself up. So long as you can hack it, it can be done. If the childcare is good, relax.
     

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