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Resigning without a job to go to.

Discussion in 'Personal' started by big pointy stick, May 6, 2008.

  1. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    I know that Lilac hasn't been on here for a while and I don't know her well but I am concerned reading this that information about her personal circumstances is being given away. I know I wouldn't be happy if this was me. Some of the posts on here are more appropriate for a PM or an e-mail in my view.
  2. Apart from being a single maths teacher who is unhappy in their job, there is not much more that could be ascertained from this thread surely?
  3. Beckylou, I am far from lilac's " friend" here in this place . I doubt she would class me amongst her friends. I would still be able and willing to write a reference.
    What do I know about her? I probably know quite a lot really . Its not about dishonesty. I would be very honest in any reference I wrote. Its not about friendship, as I said I would doubt she would count me amongst her friends. I doubt if it is unfair to other candidates. Most in my experience select their referees to reflect them in the best light they can. The purpose of a referee is to offer a truthful ( and hopefully positive) evaluation of someone .
    Back in the old days it used to be a recommendation but I am not so sure its that anymore. Indeed many employers now will not write much on a reference beyond the start dates and leaving dates of an employee because of issues regarding negative referencing.
    Then of course there is the other issue of actually getting an agreed reference from an employer . Often done when there is an issue one would prefer to cover up and negotiated by ACAS and unions usually. . But I guess in your book thats honest and doesnt disadvantage other candidates?
    I am not being dishonest. I think you are reading far too much into something you do not know about. Its not random and it is often done I assure you.

  4. I doubt there is much that could be gleaned about lilac from her writing here to be honest. In this thread - which someone has pointed out is a year old, she is unhappy - so what, we all are sometimes. Is that a crime?
    I dont think anyone could write a reference based on something said here anyway. I certainly wouldnt do that.

  5. I asked what you knew professionaly. In my opinion, if you do not know anything professionally then to write a reference based on having a form on knowing someone little beyond an internet relationship is wrong.
    And please, indulge me.... can you explain

    at least it would be done with knowledge based more on professionalism.
    Everything in shades of black and white eh? just because I say one thing is dishonest, does not mean I view another rediculous situation as honest!
  6. I really dont want to continue this here. Would it be enough to say I live near lilac? I know her. I know her school. I know enough.
  7. There is nothing that would convince me that it is right for someone who has not been involved with someone professionally to write a PROFESSIONAL reference. Each to their own though. If someone is willing to stake their own reputation by writing a reference for someone based on a one sided view, speculation, and having no direct experience, then I sincerely hope that they don't get bitten on the butt!
    As I said, no beef with you *******. It is an opinion that is not based on this particular situation but ANY like this.
  8. Just to add, I know five people on here who I would consider to know well, and have had a great deal of contact with but I would NEVER write a professional reference for any of them as I have not worked with them or seen them in action. They could tell me they were brill, and cos I love them to death, I could write what I would call an honest reference that fairly reflects them but I could find out that it couldn't be further from the truth.
  9. I have written many references over the years Becky. When you write a reference you do so in good faith based on your own views. There is nothing wrong with that. Its done all the time. I am not sure where you are coming from.
    I would be happy to put my reputation and name to a reference for lilac if she needed.
    I have too often written references I was not happy wring for ex students of mine and ex colleagues of mine in the past. If you have any sense you select at least one reference to write positively on your behalf. I have absolutely no doubt that lilac could find many people to do that but I know enough to realise that sometimes we all think that people have the refs they need and forget to suggest we could fill the gap if there is one. All I am doing is offering a helping hand if lilac needs one.
    You obviously have a problem - what is it? The fact I dont offer to write you a reference?
    You are beginning to annoy now because you are delving into peoples personal lives and relationships and asking things which you should not in a public forum.
    My word should be good enough.
  10. I could write a referencefor Lil too. (And would actually be delighted to!)
    However - i doubt it would be terribly useful. Prospective employers generally want more in-depth information than can be gained from "knowing someone" and knowing the school." I know I do!
  11. Evidence is based on what people demonstrate they can do.
    If and when someone has worked in a hell hole sh1te of a school for 8 years or more , no matter what they say about themselves or what they may think of themselves or how unhappy they may be in any given time I would say they have demonstrated their competence sufficiently for anyone. YOU INCLUDED beckylou77. Now go and make love with yourself elsewhere.
  12. Ever the charmer *******.
  13. Actually mandala when I applied to St. Trinians it specifically said on the application that I needed two referees, one who was expected to be my last employer and one who would be a personal referee. Of course indis are a bit different.
    I have also just looked up my old LEA application and I see there too that references need to be a previous ( preferably last ) employer and one other ( relationship to be stated) .
    As is often given as advice here when people cannot lad a post - check your references. If you had to use your last school always then a lot of people would be done for wouldnt they?
    Then of course there are all those times HT's write references to get rid of staff they do not want. References are no real use actually. As I said many employers wont even comment beyond dates employed now because of legislation issues and negative references.
    What most schools are looking for is basically whether or not you are under some disciplinary action when you apply to them. In fact my HT at St. T's asked me directly if there was any reason such as disciplinary action or suspension was causing me to apply to move on to another school and then simply wrote to my references asking them to confirm if this was the case. I know because I was told by my HT and by my personal reference what was asked ( as well as seeing what was written in both cases. Indeed I was asked by my ex HT what I wanted him to put in my reference - as I said, he couldn't comment because he didnt know me at all, professionally or personally.
  14. Absolutely mandala. There is a family trait for not suffering fools gladly.
  15. There's a difference between
    and being offensive and vulgar though, don't you think?
  16. Agreed. I would add to that childish.
  17. What did I say that was vulgar? If you dont like it mandala , get it pulled. You have done it before.
    I really cant see what the problem is. I offer a helping hand if someone I know needs it and other people need to come in and complain because I am offering.
    Thats got to take the biscuit.
    I cant even be gracious and kind on here now without being criticised for it.
  18. One of the viler comments I have seen on here.
  19. bombaysapphire

    bombaysapphire Star commenter

    My previous concerns were based on the fact that people on here have seemed to know a lot about ******* on here in the past. The links that ******* is talking about give away information about Lilac that I have never seen her divulge for herself.
    It seems that people were more interested in arguing their cases than thinking about that.
    Perhaps Lilac won't mind. In her shoes I would.
  20. Tell you what mandala, if you cannot find anything constructive to add to the original post or the original topic, go and pick yourself another argument. I am not interested in your views on me.


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