After going on a teacher support programme for a year, where it was decided I made progress, I have now been told that I have not maintained progress. As we went into special measures there was book scrutiny after scrutiny. New initiative after new initiative, New acronym after new acronym. I hit a wall the day after, and just could not go into work. I can't stop crying, I walk the room at night, and I can't think of anything else. And yes - I have felt suicidal. I won't do it because I love my family and it wouldn't be fair to them to have to pick up the pieces. My entire self-worth is tied up with 'being a teacher' and if they take that away, I'll be be a non-person. And it's no point people telling me that I am talented and have a family who love me....! And yet, I still think that I am a good teacher. I work hard and my lessons seem to go well. I only work 50% because I am old at 60. I won't get much of a pension, I have only been in one school for eight years, prior to that I was a supply teacher. I was a damn good supply teacher and always had work. I do struggle with paper work, and yes, I get nervous and find all the things they expect you fit into one lesson obs is just impossible - hook for learning, differentiated learning objectives, various 'pit-stops', plenary. Most of that I do anyway, but it does make yowu feel like a performing seal. So what happens now? What can I expect? Is this support - or have they already decided and are just going through the procedures to get rid of me. Can I then go on supply or will my record be so stained I will be unemployable? I'm applying to Tesco, Asda etc. but even they won't want me. No one will.