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Relocate or stay? Lack of cash after break up

Discussion in 'Workplace dilemmas' started by rebbywoo, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. rebbywoo

    rebbywoo New commenter

    Dear all,
    I would really appreciate your help with this. I'll try to be as brief as possible - I'll start by outlining the story:
    1. Used to work as HOY; loved it but at 25 was too young. Left to save my relationship and sanity; looked to work outside of the classroom.
    2. Got a temp post as I looked for jobs outside of teaching - applied to some but no joy. I live in Brighton - there were simply no jobs that paid enough. My then partner refused to leave the county (he has a great job) so I applied for a perm post starting in Jan as it was secure and we had rent to pay.
    3. Started new job in January - love it, but still feel something is 'missing'.
    4. Relationship has broken down - I'm 250 miles from home and although our friends were mutual throughout the relationship, they're mainly his. A studio flat here costs the same as a 2-bed house back home and I'm having trouble affording my rent. Once the pension payments go up in April, I'll barely be able to afford to live. (We currently share)
    I can't move into a shared house as I'm an insanely independent person - it would not be right for me and I know I'd end up feeling worse.
    So my question is, what would you do?
    I could either hand in my notice - in which case, I'd have to explain why I went from a HOY to a temp post to a perm but only lasted two terms - I feel I'd be lucky to even get an interview with that history. Plus, I love the kids and I really don't want to let the school down.
    Or I could stay - but at over £700 pcm including bills just for me to have a room with a bathroom, it seems silly when I could be back home with my family close by.
    I could really do with some advice from an outsider!
    Thanks in advance...
  2. Cervinia

    Cervinia Occasional commenter

    Stay in Brighton.
    Meet new friends at a local *insert interests here* club/association/pub. Invite old friends to stay weekends at your Brighton flat. In time you'll move on and find someone new. You'll live in a better area and won't have made 'the long walk home'.
  3. Are there any 'keyworker' housing/ flats nearby? Usually a lot less cost; ask at council etc.
  4. rebbywoo

    rebbywoo New commenter

    Thanks for all your advice - however, the main issue here for me is affording the rent. It's going to be a struggle when pension contributions go up, especially with the pay freezes and fuel prices going up the way they have.
    I am looking at living in a small studio/box room - I'm not sure that's the way I want my twenties to turn out after seven years' hard work! But all the same, I love the kids and would feel terrible leaving them.
    I know whatever I do I'm here 'til December at the earliest, but it's terribly confusing!
  5. gergil4

    gergil4 New commenter

    Find shared accommodation. You say you can't share, but when needs must ... Also there are different kinds of shared accommodation e.g. my friend took in a lodger when she was relocated. so he had the house Mon - Fri when she was working away, she came back at weekends to her own house on her own. It worked very well for them as he only wanted Mon- Fri lodgings. Look around, put out adverts, see what response you get. It might open up a whole new social scene!
  6. I agree. I lived in shared accommodation for a while in my forties, so it must be OK when you are in your twenties. Many people in their twenties and early thirties are uni students and live shared anyway. Junior doctors often do.
  7. rebbywoo

    rebbywoo New commenter

    I understand what you're saying, but 'needs must' is really only a temporary answer, isn't it? If I move into a shared house, chances are I'd be there for a long time - not something I want to do at all. I've spent eight years of my life living in shared houses - none of them particularly fun - and now I'm closing in on 30 I really do believe it's time to have my own space. I don't want to be 'that woman' who is still sharing well into her 30's.
    So the answer really is - studio flat (with little cash for luxuries but in an awesome city) or nice big home (with a bit more money though in a less brilliant place)?
  8. gergil4

    gergil4 New commenter

    Then I think you're really angling to go home. Get a job first though.
  9. I agree. In Brighton or anywhere, you can only pay a mortgage if you have a job. Move home if you have found a job there. But a ft permanent teaching job is quite a prize these days, I would not give it up for nothing. You could move into shared housing while you are looking for a job nearer to home, knowing it's only temporary.
  10. becky70

    becky70 Occasional commenter

    Permanent teaching posts are hard to get now. You may have very high rent in Brighton but paying high rent on a teacher's wage is going to be easier than paying a low rent on no wage.
    Apply for permanent posts in the area where you want to live and move there when you've got one. In the meantime, do what it takes to get by where you are - if you have to houseshare do it.
    I'd also add that you're far more likely to secure a permanent teaching post if you've got one - those of us on supply or in temporary posts are considered far less employable than those in permanent posts.

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